January 29th is the anniversary date of my brother's death and it is never an easy day for me, no matter how far removed in time the date becomes. The weather today is also very cold, it snowed overnight and there is a forecast of snow again over the next 24 hours.
I knew that I would not want to venture out so I planned accordingly yesterday and tried to get as many of my errands as possible out of the way.
I have been gentle with myself today, spending the time reading, watching a little TV, remembering, praying and being quiet. While there is underlying sadness I am also feeling at peace, a similar peace to the peace that was very tangible to me throughout the days immediately following my brother's death in 1979, when I needed it to be able to do and get through all that was necessary at that time.
There is a passage in 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young from November 26th that I have read over today and tried to remember to put into practise as the day has progressed -
'...you must remember that you reside in a fallen world, where blessings and sorrow intermingle freely. A constant focus on adversity defeats many Christians. They walk through a day that is brimming with beauty and brightness, seeing only the grayness of their thoughts. Neglecting the practice of giving thanks has darkened their minds. How precious are My children who remember to thank Me at all times. They can walk through the darkest days with Joy in their hearts because they know that the Light of My Presence is still shining on them. Rejoice in this day that I have made, for I am your steadfast Companion.'
I will be thankful, He is my steadfast Companion and my identity is in Him.
Take care, everyone.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
A Perfect Blend
I started out yesterday by attending our team's monthly meeting at work. My friend Sherry was chairing the meeting this time. Typically, the person who chairs also brings treats. Even if I had not received a special invitation from Sherry to come to the meeting, knowing what a good baker she is and that her cookies always seem to be a perfect blend of ingredients I probably would have made an appearance anyway. When asked if I had anything I wanted to contribute to the meeting, my response was 'I'm just here for the cookies' ;)
I ended up staying around the office for a few other casual meetings. About the only side effects I was feeling from the previous day's Herceptin treatment was some generalized body achiness, a heavy head and the runny nose that is my constant companion.
The afternoon found me taking time for a nap and then I did a few things that needed doing around the house prior to a planned evening out. The day seemed a perfect blend of mental and physical activity as well as mental and physical rest.
I had received an email earlier in the week from Wellspring Calgary announcing a musical group would be performing Friday evening from 7 pm to 9 pm. I was immediately enticed to sign myself up by the description that was given - "when four singer/songwriters join forces, the outcome is Magnolia Buckskin - an acoustic quartet of sublime vocals and refreshing original songs that will elevate your soul....bringing you a blend of grassroots, folk and pop music. All four are accomplished songwriters and multi-instrumentalist, but the real magic is in their harmonies."
Following my nap and fairly lazy afternoon I was a little reluctant to venture out by myself for the evening but Rod had hockey and I had a feeling that the effort would be worth it. I arrived at Wellspring in time to find a good seat. The room that holds about fifty people rapidly filled, they actually had to bring in extra chairs, probably against fire code.
The ladies in Magnolia Buckskin are all teachers, they seemed very comfortable and relaxed in front of a group of people, the one difference they joked about during the 'concert' was that they weren't used to being listened to when in front of their daily 'audience'.
They all took turns singing the lead to the multiple songs that were sung and each played a variety of instruments throughout, from banjos, mandolins, accordions, acoustic and electric guitars, to a shaker and even a clarinet. The performance was very interactive with the audience, lots of chatting with us between the songs and eye contact while singing. My favorite part was when they asked us to sing along with them at various points in the evening. They did comment that they were surprised at how easily we complied with their request to sing with them, stating that normally their audiences tend to be reluctant to do this. My hypothesis in this regard is that having cancer removes a lot of inhibitions from people and you learn early on to 'enjoy the moment'.
We were entertained for two full hours with only a short 15 minute break in between sets. During that break we were asked to complete evaluations of the program for the Wellspring staff. The group is also recording an album currently and asked for any ideas we had regarding a title for it to be added to the bottom of the evaluation.
'A Perfect Blend' was my submission, it seems to describe the way their personalities, their voices, the types of songs and how their instruments all worked together. After the break they took time for a question and answer session followed by about five more songs and a standing ovation.
I was smiling the whole drive home. The best part of the evening - they have agreed to give a two hour workshop next Saturday on singing harmony. I immediately signed up. Now I have their performance from last evening to remember as well as next weeks worshop to look forward to.
A perfect blend.
Take care, everyone.
I ended up staying around the office for a few other casual meetings. About the only side effects I was feeling from the previous day's Herceptin treatment was some generalized body achiness, a heavy head and the runny nose that is my constant companion.
The afternoon found me taking time for a nap and then I did a few things that needed doing around the house prior to a planned evening out. The day seemed a perfect blend of mental and physical activity as well as mental and physical rest.
I had received an email earlier in the week from Wellspring Calgary announcing a musical group would be performing Friday evening from 7 pm to 9 pm. I was immediately enticed to sign myself up by the description that was given - "when four singer/songwriters join forces, the outcome is Magnolia Buckskin - an acoustic quartet of sublime vocals and refreshing original songs that will elevate your soul....bringing you a blend of grassroots, folk and pop music. All four are accomplished songwriters and multi-instrumentalist, but the real magic is in their harmonies."
Following my nap and fairly lazy afternoon I was a little reluctant to venture out by myself for the evening but Rod had hockey and I had a feeling that the effort would be worth it. I arrived at Wellspring in time to find a good seat. The room that holds about fifty people rapidly filled, they actually had to bring in extra chairs, probably against fire code.
The ladies in Magnolia Buckskin are all teachers, they seemed very comfortable and relaxed in front of a group of people, the one difference they joked about during the 'concert' was that they weren't used to being listened to when in front of their daily 'audience'.
They all took turns singing the lead to the multiple songs that were sung and each played a variety of instruments throughout, from banjos, mandolins, accordions, acoustic and electric guitars, to a shaker and even a clarinet. The performance was very interactive with the audience, lots of chatting with us between the songs and eye contact while singing. My favorite part was when they asked us to sing along with them at various points in the evening. They did comment that they were surprised at how easily we complied with their request to sing with them, stating that normally their audiences tend to be reluctant to do this. My hypothesis in this regard is that having cancer removes a lot of inhibitions from people and you learn early on to 'enjoy the moment'.
We were entertained for two full hours with only a short 15 minute break in between sets. During that break we were asked to complete evaluations of the program for the Wellspring staff. The group is also recording an album currently and asked for any ideas we had regarding a title for it to be added to the bottom of the evaluation.
'A Perfect Blend' was my submission, it seems to describe the way their personalities, their voices, the types of songs and how their instruments all worked together. After the break they took time for a question and answer session followed by about five more songs and a standing ovation.
I was smiling the whole drive home. The best part of the evening - they have agreed to give a two hour workshop next Saturday on singing harmony. I immediately signed up. Now I have their performance from last evening to remember as well as next weeks worshop to look forward to.
A perfect blend.
Take care, everyone.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Peace
Today's reading from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -
My Peace is the treasure of treasures; the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift, both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life's storms. If you have the world's peace - everything going your way - you don't seek My unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world. Matthew 13:45 (NKJV); James 1:2; John 16:33
When I received the letter from the insurance company on Monday and the phone calls over the last few days from the rehab facility regarding my Mom my first inclination was to be angry and then anxious. I gave these emotions and the situations to the Lord and asked for His intervention and guidance, then I tried not to take them back ;)
Yesterday, I spoke to my oncologist's administrative assistant. The oncologist is very supportive and she is having a letter drafted up and providing documentation to the insurance company to support my planned return to work date of April 1st. The insurance coordinator phoned me after this and suggested that the insurance company might be able to extend my return date by a week or two. How wonderful to already have the information from my oncologists office. I told her that my return to work day was April 1st and that the oncologist's office would be faxing the required documentation to her today. I was able to be calm and straightforward with the information and she said that everyone's treatment and response to treatment is different, then wished me well.
I received another call from the occupational therapist at the rehab facility. Everything has been put in place to acquire the equipment that Mom needs. I will continue to call every day to see if a wheelchair becomes available but I also did my own homework and I have found a source that will rent a wheelchair of the correct size and type for Mom at a moment's notice for a very reasonable price should one not become available before she is discharged.
The rehab social worker called me this a.m. to let me know that she has completed the work that was started by the hospital social worker prior to Mom's being transferred to the lodge and that Mom is now approved for and will receive a benefit to supplement her income to help with her increased fees at the new lodge.
I also received a very informative phone call regarding radiation therapy. I have been wondering what would be best for me to do. The information provided last evening led me to several newer studies on the internet and helped me in making my decision, now I need to set things in motion for this.
You would think that I would be on cloud nine with all of this happening and I am very thankful. My mood though seems to be impacted by the tamoxifen I started taking last week, very good reason not to rely on or go with my feelings. I am trying to work through the best time of day to take the med, some people have no side effects, others are not able to take it at all. I am told that it takes one to two months to get used to it so I am persevering. I am experiencing some low grade nausea since starting it as well as very much more intense hot flashes (joy!). I find myself waking up about 3 a.m. each morning and taking an hour or more to get back to sleep, if I get back to sleep. I am so thankful I am not yet trying to work while I am getting used to this.
One funny thing that happened when I woke last night at my usual 3 a.m. The waking up is accompanied by a huge hot flash and I was just in the midst of it when my wonderful husband, thinking he was being kind, pushed over the pre-heated magic bag he had brought to bed just in case I woke up and was cold. I literally shoved it back over to his side, along with all the covers on my side of the bed. He was a little stunned at first but then he said, "Oh, I guess you're not cold right now".
This morning as I was emptying the dishwasher I was feeling a little grumpy about it and then all of a sudden I realized how many people in this world would be overjoyed to have the clean dishes to empty from it. Having to empty and load it daily is evidence that we are eating well and a dishwasher itself is a luxury. Good reminder.
I will head over to the rehab facility with my Mom's wash and spend a little time with her early afternoon today, then it's over to the cancer center to the oncologist's office to tie up the loose threads for insurance. This will be followed by my bloodwork and then my Herceptin treatment.
Take care, everyone.
My Peace is the treasure of treasures; the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift, both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life's storms. If you have the world's peace - everything going your way - you don't seek My unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world. Matthew 13:45 (NKJV); James 1:2; John 16:33
When I received the letter from the insurance company on Monday and the phone calls over the last few days from the rehab facility regarding my Mom my first inclination was to be angry and then anxious. I gave these emotions and the situations to the Lord and asked for His intervention and guidance, then I tried not to take them back ;)
Yesterday, I spoke to my oncologist's administrative assistant. The oncologist is very supportive and she is having a letter drafted up and providing documentation to the insurance company to support my planned return to work date of April 1st. The insurance coordinator phoned me after this and suggested that the insurance company might be able to extend my return date by a week or two. How wonderful to already have the information from my oncologists office. I told her that my return to work day was April 1st and that the oncologist's office would be faxing the required documentation to her today. I was able to be calm and straightforward with the information and she said that everyone's treatment and response to treatment is different, then wished me well.
I received another call from the occupational therapist at the rehab facility. Everything has been put in place to acquire the equipment that Mom needs. I will continue to call every day to see if a wheelchair becomes available but I also did my own homework and I have found a source that will rent a wheelchair of the correct size and type for Mom at a moment's notice for a very reasonable price should one not become available before she is discharged.
The rehab social worker called me this a.m. to let me know that she has completed the work that was started by the hospital social worker prior to Mom's being transferred to the lodge and that Mom is now approved for and will receive a benefit to supplement her income to help with her increased fees at the new lodge.
I also received a very informative phone call regarding radiation therapy. I have been wondering what would be best for me to do. The information provided last evening led me to several newer studies on the internet and helped me in making my decision, now I need to set things in motion for this.
You would think that I would be on cloud nine with all of this happening and I am very thankful. My mood though seems to be impacted by the tamoxifen I started taking last week, very good reason not to rely on or go with my feelings. I am trying to work through the best time of day to take the med, some people have no side effects, others are not able to take it at all. I am told that it takes one to two months to get used to it so I am persevering. I am experiencing some low grade nausea since starting it as well as very much more intense hot flashes (joy!). I find myself waking up about 3 a.m. each morning and taking an hour or more to get back to sleep, if I get back to sleep. I am so thankful I am not yet trying to work while I am getting used to this.
One funny thing that happened when I woke last night at my usual 3 a.m. The waking up is accompanied by a huge hot flash and I was just in the midst of it when my wonderful husband, thinking he was being kind, pushed over the pre-heated magic bag he had brought to bed just in case I woke up and was cold. I literally shoved it back over to his side, along with all the covers on my side of the bed. He was a little stunned at first but then he said, "Oh, I guess you're not cold right now".
This morning as I was emptying the dishwasher I was feeling a little grumpy about it and then all of a sudden I realized how many people in this world would be overjoyed to have the clean dishes to empty from it. Having to empty and load it daily is evidence that we are eating well and a dishwasher itself is a luxury. Good reminder.
I will head over to the rehab facility with my Mom's wash and spend a little time with her early afternoon today, then it's over to the cancer center to the oncologist's office to tie up the loose threads for insurance. This will be followed by my bloodwork and then my Herceptin treatment.
Take care, everyone.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Growth Opportunities
Today's reading from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -
Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment - accepting things exactly as they are - and search for My way in the midst of those cirumstances.
Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind. Psalm 52:8; Proverbs 3:5 - 6
It seems like there was a bit of a reprieve at the beginning of January where things were very quiet. In the last few days a few thiings have come up to help me 'lean on the staff of trust' more.
I received a letter from my long term disability insurance coordinator yesterday. I spoke with her last week following my medical oncologist appointment. During the conversation I told her that the oncologist had said we would discuss my back to work plan at our next visit. At the end of our phone conversation she was very pleasant and said that she would continue to be in touch. This letter was not quite what I thought she had meant about continuing to be in touch. It was brief but basically stated that the insurance company considered me capable of returning to work as of February 1st. There was a form included that I am supposed to have the oncologist complete regarding my 'return to work' activities. The letter also stated that if there were any reasons that I was not able to return to work as of that date that it was my responsibility to provide the details and necessary documentation to her before then. A little anxiety producing given that today is January 22nd.
There was also a call from the occupational therapist at the rehab center where my Mom is currently. She indicated that Mom may be able to go 'home' as early as today but I would need to have some things in place prior to that, including obtaining a wheelchair for her, a different type of walker and a few other pieces of equipment. She called early afternoon with this information. I explained that Mom was in a SL4 designated lodge and that she had a case manager that I had been told was responsible for assessing and authorizing additional equipment such as what they were suggesting. I gave her the phone number for this person. She called once again this morning saying that the case manager at the lodge said that she didn't authorize wheelchairs and the lodge couldn't provide one temporarily.
As it turned out for today, the physiotherapist told the occupational therapist they were not ready to release Mom from their care, they feel she requires more time in the rehab center becoming steadier using the walker. In the meantime, I have been asked to contact a local agency daily to see if a wheelchair becomes available for Mom's use as it could take up to six months or more to obtain her own wheelchair through the aids to daily living program.
I also spoke with the social worker from the rehab center this morning and have some 'homework' from that conversation, I believe the outcome from this work should be positive for Mom's pocketbook.
How wonderful to go back to the 'Jesus Calling' reading for today, re-read it a few times over, view these circumstances as growth opportunities and then trust.
Take care everyone.
Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment - accepting things exactly as they are - and search for My way in the midst of those cirumstances.
Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind. Psalm 52:8; Proverbs 3:5 - 6
It seems like there was a bit of a reprieve at the beginning of January where things were very quiet. In the last few days a few thiings have come up to help me 'lean on the staff of trust' more.
I received a letter from my long term disability insurance coordinator yesterday. I spoke with her last week following my medical oncologist appointment. During the conversation I told her that the oncologist had said we would discuss my back to work plan at our next visit. At the end of our phone conversation she was very pleasant and said that she would continue to be in touch. This letter was not quite what I thought she had meant about continuing to be in touch. It was brief but basically stated that the insurance company considered me capable of returning to work as of February 1st. There was a form included that I am supposed to have the oncologist complete regarding my 'return to work' activities. The letter also stated that if there were any reasons that I was not able to return to work as of that date that it was my responsibility to provide the details and necessary documentation to her before then. A little anxiety producing given that today is January 22nd.
There was also a call from the occupational therapist at the rehab center where my Mom is currently. She indicated that Mom may be able to go 'home' as early as today but I would need to have some things in place prior to that, including obtaining a wheelchair for her, a different type of walker and a few other pieces of equipment. She called early afternoon with this information. I explained that Mom was in a SL4 designated lodge and that she had a case manager that I had been told was responsible for assessing and authorizing additional equipment such as what they were suggesting. I gave her the phone number for this person. She called once again this morning saying that the case manager at the lodge said that she didn't authorize wheelchairs and the lodge couldn't provide one temporarily.
As it turned out for today, the physiotherapist told the occupational therapist they were not ready to release Mom from their care, they feel she requires more time in the rehab center becoming steadier using the walker. In the meantime, I have been asked to contact a local agency daily to see if a wheelchair becomes available for Mom's use as it could take up to six months or more to obtain her own wheelchair through the aids to daily living program.
I also spoke with the social worker from the rehab center this morning and have some 'homework' from that conversation, I believe the outcome from this work should be positive for Mom's pocketbook.
How wonderful to go back to the 'Jesus Calling' reading for today, re-read it a few times over, view these circumstances as growth opportunities and then trust.
Take care everyone.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes ...
A while back I posted about my grandchildren sending me cards with the theme of 'My Favorite Things'. I was thinking of that this morning as I was looking in the mirror -
From the 'Sound of Music' lyrics -
'... snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.'
I am actually starting to grow eyelashes back and the snowflakes are sticking to them! :)
If I use a magnifying glass I can also see the beginnings of eyebrows returning and there are prickles on my head that show promise of becoming hair.
From my 'Jesus Calling' book by Sarah Young this morning. I am substituting some words which I have placed in parentheses to make it more personal for me -
As you make plans for (this time), remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life. (In times) when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence. (In times) when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected. It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours. Don't try to figure out what is happening. Simply trust Me and thank Me in advance for the good that will come out of it all. I know the plans I have for you, and they are good.
The winter is showing promise of melting into spring ;)
Take care, everyone
From the 'Sound of Music' lyrics -
'... snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.'
I am actually starting to grow eyelashes back and the snowflakes are sticking to them! :)
If I use a magnifying glass I can also see the beginnings of eyebrows returning and there are prickles on my head that show promise of becoming hair.
From my 'Jesus Calling' book by Sarah Young this morning. I am substituting some words which I have placed in parentheses to make it more personal for me -
As you make plans for (this time), remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life. (In times) when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence. (In times) when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected. It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours. Don't try to figure out what is happening. Simply trust Me and thank Me in advance for the good that will come out of it all. I know the plans I have for you, and they are good.
The winter is showing promise of melting into spring ;)
Take care, everyone
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Power of Choice
Recently I purchased a book by a gentleman named Nic Vujicic who was born with tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterised by the absence of all four limbs. The book is called 'Life without Limits' and details the struggles he had early in life and what has lead him to the rich and full life he is leading now. I am trying to get through a few other books at the moment so I thought I would let my mother read it first - she has been feeling a little discouraged with her progress following her recent hip fracture.
In the past few days several of my friends posted a video on Facebook that featured Nic on an Oprah Lifeclass segment with Pastor Rick Warren. The subject of the Lifeclass is on 'living the hand you are dealt' and the power of choice. It was very inspirational and has motivated me to 'choose' to get these other books read faster so that I can read Nic's book. I know Mom will have finished the book, I think my friend Ev has secretly been giving her speed reading lessons ;).
Here is the link to the Oprah Lifeclass segment -
http://.youtube.com/#/watch?sns=fb&v=ZPW3EB5U0bo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZPW3EB5U0bo%26sns%3Dfb
Here are three other quotes that I feel go nicely with the video -
Do what you can with what you have where you are - Theodore Roosevelt
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change - Wayne Dyer
When we are no longer able to change the situation - we are challenged to change ourselves - Viktor E. Frankl
Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend.
In the past few days several of my friends posted a video on Facebook that featured Nic on an Oprah Lifeclass segment with Pastor Rick Warren. The subject of the Lifeclass is on 'living the hand you are dealt' and the power of choice. It was very inspirational and has motivated me to 'choose' to get these other books read faster so that I can read Nic's book. I know Mom will have finished the book, I think my friend Ev has secretly been giving her speed reading lessons ;).
Here is the link to the Oprah Lifeclass segment -
http://.youtube.com/#/watch?sns=fb&v=ZPW3EB5U0bo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZPW3EB5U0bo%26sns%3Dfb
Here are three other quotes that I feel go nicely with the video -
Do what you can with what you have where you are - Theodore Roosevelt
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change - Wayne Dyer
When we are no longer able to change the situation - we are challenged to change ourselves - Viktor E. Frankl
Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Meeting Veterans on the Journey
Before I begin today's post I have to add a few more reasons that I am smiling -
On Monday evening I had the pleasure of participating in an information gathering session for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I signed up for it but I am so happy that I went.
The session went for three hours. When I first arrived I was directed to find a table and then help myself to sandwiches and something to drink. The first table I sat at turned out to be the table the regional coordinator was sitting at, a lovely lady but I had to move when they started as they needed at least four people at a table and she was going to wander around the room and participate in as many of the table discussions as she could.
This then placed me at a table with five other ladies. I was one of the few in the room who were currently still going through treatment. Three of the ladies at my table were 18 to 25 year survivors, and two were friends of ladies who were either going through breast cancer currently or had breast cancer in the past. The other tables contained similar and different mixes.
We were assigned a series of tasks during the evening and through these tasks we got to know the people at our tables better and hear of their unique experiences. Very touching, there was laughter and there were tears.
I would like to describe the ladies I met at our table but I will not use their names. The first survivor I will call 'support lady'. She used to work as a volunteer with an agency in the city that provided support to women going through breast cancer - from diagnosis through treatment. She was a very warm and caring person and I can see that she would have been very good in this role. The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act came into play while she was volunteering with the agency and they were no longer able to reach out to individuals to see if they would like support, instead the women needed to contact them. The numbers of women that would actually reach out and ask for support initially without being offered it (if they even knew it was available) were low and eventually her role and the agency ceased to exist. I could tell that she had been very good at her support role and grieved losing this opportunity to share her experience and help others.
The second survivor was a meek looking woman who surprised me a little when she told us her story. She seemed a little hesitant to speak up and sometimes even a little bewildered as to why she was there. She had found her lump and gone to her family doctor who told her he felt it was nothing. Even as meek as she was she insisted on a mammogram, which turned out to be normal. Still not comfortable with this, she asked to be referred to the Breast Health Clinic where a surgeon listened to her concerns, could feel the lump and decided that he would remove the lump for her, even though the mammogram was 'normal'. When the pathology came back it showed that the lump was cancerous and she had been right to advocate for herself. I admire that even though this must not have been easy for her, given her more timid nature, she stood up for herself and for what she 'knew' to be true.
The third survivor was a no nonsense, no frills woman who 'always knew that I would get breast cancer' - her mother and her sister had also had breast cancer. She was not surprised to receive her diagnosis and she was the only one of the three who had also gone through chemo. Chemo back 24 years ago was not as 'easy' as it is nowadays but she was adamant that she did not want to be called a survivor as she did not see herself as a 'victim', she said she had been through far worse thiings in her life. We respectfully discussed whether one needed to have been a victim in order to be called a survivor but she was not to be swayed. Maybe she would have preferred being called a 'veteran'. As the evening progressed I could see that there was a very tender heart under the tough exterior she presented and that she was indeed a survivor, whether that was how she defined herself or not.
The first lady to my left had supported a good friend through cancer, chemo, radiation, recurrence, and palliative care prior to her death from breast cancer. She was at the session to provide a support person's persepective on the breast cancer experience and to validate for herself the role she had played and whether there was more she could have done for her friend.
The second lady had come with her, she was a friend of a 30 year old woman who is currently very early in treatment. She was able to provide information regarding some of the issues that younger women had to consider, such as delaying chemo in order to harvest eggs for future fertility.
Through the three hours we were provided with a set of pictures and asked to choose one to portray our cancer experience and then to write out and tell the group why we chose that picture. The next exercise was to map out the cancer journey and add the emotions that were experienced at each stage. Everyone's journey was slightly different, as were the emotions they felt at each stage i.e. discovering the lump as opposed to having a routine mammogram and being told there was a problem; feeling fear at hearing the diagnosis as opposed to my 'I'm not a survivor' lady stating it was almost a relief to receive the diagnosis, now she could 'get on with it'. There was a lot of discussion and our tables' map didn't get past the diagnosis phase before it was time to move on.
Another exercise was to review pamphlets that had been created to provide information regarding the progress made in diagnosis, treatment and support of women with breast cancer and what advances the future might hold. Each table had a different prototype of a pamphlet and were asked to critique it - what did we like, what didn't we like, what would we add or change.
We ended with discussing what we would have liked or needed early in our journey in regards to information and support, followed by what we felt was/would have been helpful at the end of treatment, and then what would be good for long term survivors (described as 5 years out or more). Interesting discussions.
There were tape recorders at each table to catch our conversations and we also provided our written notes on the pictures we chose, our maps of our journeys, the critiqued pamphlets and our input on what would have/would be helpful at the different stages.
I was almost reluctant to leave at the end. In the short period of time we were together, we had shared so much with each other, far more than we probably have shared with many of those closest to us and through our sharing we had bonded.
As I walked down the hall, my three 'veteran survivors' walked close behind me and wished me well as I continued on with my treatment. The 'I'm not a survivor' lady placed her hand on my shoulder and told me that I would be fine; she said that she can tell the strong ones and that I was 'tough'. Timid 'self-advocate' lady grabbed my hand, shook it gently without looking me in the eye and then left. 'Support lady' came and told me that she wanted to hug me. Following the hug she asked for my email address. We talked a bit longer and then she hugged me again. I know I will hear from her. You can take the role and even the avenue away from the person, but they will find a way to do that which they are meant to do.
Take care everyone.
- Leah sent me a video of my almost 11 month old grandson Forrest walking, no stopping him now! I told the ladies on my forum that I better get going on the treadmill or he will soon be lapping me ;)
- Kenny's hockey team has made it into the Minor Hockey Week finals on Saturday afternoon for their division, this means they are guaranteed at least a silver medal; the team had a rough start at the beginning of the year but here they are :)
- I received a gift card in the mail for The Running Room from the pedometer study I am taking part in, right on time for purchasing some new walking shoes for the treadmill
On Monday evening I had the pleasure of participating in an information gathering session for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I signed up for it but I am so happy that I went.
The session went for three hours. When I first arrived I was directed to find a table and then help myself to sandwiches and something to drink. The first table I sat at turned out to be the table the regional coordinator was sitting at, a lovely lady but I had to move when they started as they needed at least four people at a table and she was going to wander around the room and participate in as many of the table discussions as she could.
This then placed me at a table with five other ladies. I was one of the few in the room who were currently still going through treatment. Three of the ladies at my table were 18 to 25 year survivors, and two were friends of ladies who were either going through breast cancer currently or had breast cancer in the past. The other tables contained similar and different mixes.
We were assigned a series of tasks during the evening and through these tasks we got to know the people at our tables better and hear of their unique experiences. Very touching, there was laughter and there were tears.
I would like to describe the ladies I met at our table but I will not use their names. The first survivor I will call 'support lady'. She used to work as a volunteer with an agency in the city that provided support to women going through breast cancer - from diagnosis through treatment. She was a very warm and caring person and I can see that she would have been very good in this role. The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act came into play while she was volunteering with the agency and they were no longer able to reach out to individuals to see if they would like support, instead the women needed to contact them. The numbers of women that would actually reach out and ask for support initially without being offered it (if they even knew it was available) were low and eventually her role and the agency ceased to exist. I could tell that she had been very good at her support role and grieved losing this opportunity to share her experience and help others.
The second survivor was a meek looking woman who surprised me a little when she told us her story. She seemed a little hesitant to speak up and sometimes even a little bewildered as to why she was there. She had found her lump and gone to her family doctor who told her he felt it was nothing. Even as meek as she was she insisted on a mammogram, which turned out to be normal. Still not comfortable with this, she asked to be referred to the Breast Health Clinic where a surgeon listened to her concerns, could feel the lump and decided that he would remove the lump for her, even though the mammogram was 'normal'. When the pathology came back it showed that the lump was cancerous and she had been right to advocate for herself. I admire that even though this must not have been easy for her, given her more timid nature, she stood up for herself and for what she 'knew' to be true.
The third survivor was a no nonsense, no frills woman who 'always knew that I would get breast cancer' - her mother and her sister had also had breast cancer. She was not surprised to receive her diagnosis and she was the only one of the three who had also gone through chemo. Chemo back 24 years ago was not as 'easy' as it is nowadays but she was adamant that she did not want to be called a survivor as she did not see herself as a 'victim', she said she had been through far worse thiings in her life. We respectfully discussed whether one needed to have been a victim in order to be called a survivor but she was not to be swayed. Maybe she would have preferred being called a 'veteran'. As the evening progressed I could see that there was a very tender heart under the tough exterior she presented and that she was indeed a survivor, whether that was how she defined herself or not.
The first lady to my left had supported a good friend through cancer, chemo, radiation, recurrence, and palliative care prior to her death from breast cancer. She was at the session to provide a support person's persepective on the breast cancer experience and to validate for herself the role she had played and whether there was more she could have done for her friend.
The second lady had come with her, she was a friend of a 30 year old woman who is currently very early in treatment. She was able to provide information regarding some of the issues that younger women had to consider, such as delaying chemo in order to harvest eggs for future fertility.
Through the three hours we were provided with a set of pictures and asked to choose one to portray our cancer experience and then to write out and tell the group why we chose that picture. The next exercise was to map out the cancer journey and add the emotions that were experienced at each stage. Everyone's journey was slightly different, as were the emotions they felt at each stage i.e. discovering the lump as opposed to having a routine mammogram and being told there was a problem; feeling fear at hearing the diagnosis as opposed to my 'I'm not a survivor' lady stating it was almost a relief to receive the diagnosis, now she could 'get on with it'. There was a lot of discussion and our tables' map didn't get past the diagnosis phase before it was time to move on.
Another exercise was to review pamphlets that had been created to provide information regarding the progress made in diagnosis, treatment and support of women with breast cancer and what advances the future might hold. Each table had a different prototype of a pamphlet and were asked to critique it - what did we like, what didn't we like, what would we add or change.
We ended with discussing what we would have liked or needed early in our journey in regards to information and support, followed by what we felt was/would have been helpful at the end of treatment, and then what would be good for long term survivors (described as 5 years out or more). Interesting discussions.
There were tape recorders at each table to catch our conversations and we also provided our written notes on the pictures we chose, our maps of our journeys, the critiqued pamphlets and our input on what would have/would be helpful at the different stages.
I was almost reluctant to leave at the end. In the short period of time we were together, we had shared so much with each other, far more than we probably have shared with many of those closest to us and through our sharing we had bonded.
As I walked down the hall, my three 'veteran survivors' walked close behind me and wished me well as I continued on with my treatment. The 'I'm not a survivor' lady placed her hand on my shoulder and told me that I would be fine; she said that she can tell the strong ones and that I was 'tough'. Timid 'self-advocate' lady grabbed my hand, shook it gently without looking me in the eye and then left. 'Support lady' came and told me that she wanted to hug me. Following the hug she asked for my email address. We talked a bit longer and then she hugged me again. I know I will hear from her. You can take the role and even the avenue away from the person, but they will find a way to do that which they are meant to do.
Take care everyone.
Monday, January 14, 2013
Keep Smiling
When I first told my manager of my diagnosis last June he encouraged me to 'keep smiling'. He has done this several times since that time, today when I emailed him I added 'still smiling'.
I did not particularly feel like smiling this a.m. when I woke up to yet more snow, we have had more than our share of late. It wouldn't have been so bad but I had an appointment with the oncologist at 0815 which meant an early start to the day, no lying in bed drinking coffee with my freshly warmed magic bags tucked in around me (yes, I know I've been spoiled). I did drag myself out of bed and made it to my appointment on time.
These are the things that have made me smile today -
A couple of quotes that were on Facebook today -
Take care everyone
I did not particularly feel like smiling this a.m. when I woke up to yet more snow, we have had more than our share of late. It wouldn't have been so bad but I had an appointment with the oncologist at 0815 which meant an early start to the day, no lying in bed drinking coffee with my freshly warmed magic bags tucked in around me (yes, I know I've been spoiled). I did drag myself out of bed and made it to my appointment on time.
These are the things that have made me smile today -
- My heated car seat - I know I've mentioned it before but it felt particularly wonderful this a.m.
- Finding a good parking spot a short walk to the Cancer Centre
- Having one of the unit clerks I used to work with in Emergency check me in at the Outpatient Clinic at the Cancer Centre
- Hearing my oncologist tell me that I had done amazing with my chemo (it's also OK to be amazing some of the time ;)
- Being told my MUGA scan was good, which means my heart is doing well through the treatments so far
- Being told I am quite anemic and need rest and relaxation - normally not a reason to smile but it means I'm not a wimp :), I was beginning to doubt myself. She thinks it will take about three months for my hemoglobin to return to a normal value, better than heart problems any day
- Being told that some of the extra weight and the muscle aches in my thighs are due to the Taxotere and will resolve soon; once again, I was beginning to doubt myself
- Having the timing work out after my appointment for me to go to the bank and then get to Costco right as it opened
- Looking at my email before leaving the bank and finding out the performance appraisals are no longer due on Friday at noon sharp - there is a new form this year and it hasn't been sent out yet
- Finding frozen pomegranate seeds at Costco - can't wait to use in salads, smoothies, with yogurt and in oatmeal
- Finding an interesting new organic breakfast cereal made with chia seeds, buckwheat, sliced almonds and dried cranberries - apparently also good in smoothies, with yogurt, and hot or cold with milk or milk alternative
- Being called 'Hon' by the lady behind me in the line who wanted to get by me to get to another checkout but needed to wait until I could move up - her comment was 'that's alright hon, I'm not in a hurry, don't you worry'
- Being called 'miss' by the man packing my purchases, I've been feeling very old lately, that made my day
- Being told to take care and have a wonderful day by the person checking my cart as I left
- Picking up Kenny from his English exam and being told that he took his time and felt like he did well
- Getting home to a warm house and my magic bags ;)
- Edited to add one more reason to smile today - my friend Liz emailed to say that her first grandchild arrived safely this a.m., supposedly a little late but I bet he thinks he was right on time!
A couple of quotes that were on Facebook today -
- It's hard to beat a person who never gives up - Babe Ruth
- On the Compassionate Beauty page - When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile
Take care everyone
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Strength
A while back closer to when I began this blog I added a quote that another lady on the breast cancer forum uses in her signature - You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have. Another of the lovely ladies from the forum posted a video for us today that was quite enjoyable, the theme was strength and it was made by a woman going through chemotherapy. I have added it below.
I find these are the days when it is a little harder to continue to be strong. The journey has been a long one already and the end of it is still not quite in sight. The adrenalin that gets you through the initial phases of surgery and chemo has long worn off by this time, the weather is cold and the hours of daylight are short. I reminded myself just the other day that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Overall, I am doing well. My impatience wants me to feel completely better yesterday and be able to go back to my old pace of doing things right away and most of all, I want my hair back ;). That just isn't happening and I am learning to be gentle with myself and adapt to a new pace and rhythm to my days. Like my hair will gradually return (I hope) so too my return to health and energy will be gradual.
Some inspiration -
Be faithful in the small things, for it is in them that your strength lies - Mother Theresa
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face ...we must do that which we think we cannot. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Women are like tea bags, we don't know our true strength until we are in hot water - Eleanor Roosevelt
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts - Eleanor Roosevelt
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Patience and time do more than strength and passion - Jean de la Fontaine
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer - Albert Camus
Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong - Sarah Dessen
Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.” - Napoleon Bonaparte
I find these are the days when it is a little harder to continue to be strong. The journey has been a long one already and the end of it is still not quite in sight. The adrenalin that gets you through the initial phases of surgery and chemo has long worn off by this time, the weather is cold and the hours of daylight are short. I reminded myself just the other day that this is a marathon, not a sprint.
Overall, I am doing well. My impatience wants me to feel completely better yesterday and be able to go back to my old pace of doing things right away and most of all, I want my hair back ;). That just isn't happening and I am learning to be gentle with myself and adapt to a new pace and rhythm to my days. Like my hair will gradually return (I hope) so too my return to health and energy will be gradual.
Some inspiration -
Be faithful in the small things, for it is in them that your strength lies - Mother Theresa
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face ...we must do that which we think we cannot. - Eleanor Roosevelt
Women are like tea bags, we don't know our true strength until we are in hot water - Eleanor Roosevelt
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts - Eleanor Roosevelt
Strength does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. - Arnold Schwarzenegger
Patience and time do more than strength and passion - Jean de la Fontaine
In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer - Albert Camus
Anyone can hide. Facing up to things, working through them, that's what makes you strong - Sarah Dessen
Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.” - Napoleon Bonaparte
You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” - Marcus Aurelius
Be strong. Live honorably and with dignity. When you don't think you can, hold on.” - James Frey
Here is the link to the YouTube video -
http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?sns=em&v=BaQdwTsVtCY&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DBaQdwTsVtCY%26sns%3Dem
...and yes, the nurses and the patients in the chemo area really are that great!
Take care, everyone
...and yes, the nurses and the patients in the chemo area really are that great!
Take care, everyone
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Performance Appraisal
At work it is time for us to be preparing for our yearly performance reviews, the Performance Appraisal document we are required to complete is due next Friday, at noon sharp (according to my manager ;).
This made me think about conducting a Performance Appraisal in other non-work related areas of my life. I have sometimes set goals or made resolutions for the next year but I have rarely actually sat down and documented what I had accomplished the previous year so I could build on that or formally identified areas 'for improvement'. I also never wrote down courses, books or articles that I had read during that year that related to the various life areas. I have often thought of things that I would like to learn or do 'someday' with no plan as to when or how I was ever going to get to them, therefore they are still unlearned or undone. This year I want to improve on that, not by creating a bucket list but more of a 'this year' list.
Setting SMART goals can help with accomplishing the things that make it to my list. I need to make sure my goals are -
Specific
measurable
attainable
realistic and relevant, and
time oriented.
I've also collected some questions, quotes and tips, many from Zig Ziglar, to help motivate me, both at work and in my personal life -
This made me think about conducting a Performance Appraisal in other non-work related areas of my life. I have sometimes set goals or made resolutions for the next year but I have rarely actually sat down and documented what I had accomplished the previous year so I could build on that or formally identified areas 'for improvement'. I also never wrote down courses, books or articles that I had read during that year that related to the various life areas. I have often thought of things that I would like to learn or do 'someday' with no plan as to when or how I was ever going to get to them, therefore they are still unlearned or undone. This year I want to improve on that, not by creating a bucket list but more of a 'this year' list.
Setting SMART goals can help with accomplishing the things that make it to my list. I need to make sure my goals are -
Specific
measurable
attainable
realistic and relevant, and
time oriented.
I've also collected some questions, quotes and tips, many from Zig Ziglar, to help motivate me, both at work and in my personal life -
- When was the last time you did something for the first time?
- Leave your comfort zone. Many people are unwilling to risk embarrassment and possible failure, even at their dreams expense.
- Mistakes can be stumbling blocks or stepping stones.
- Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. No matter what they are, you’re going to make mistakes, big and small. The only important thing is that you learn from them and move on. The real loser is the person that doesn't even try.
- Don’t think a dream is impossible. If it is important to you, whatever your goal is, take all the proper steps to make it happen. Who knows, your dream could come true.
- Choose to be happy. Happiness can’t be bought. It’s a choice that each person has to make.
- Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.
- Finish what you start. Don’t leave that sweater half-knitted, that boat half-built, and don’t buy that Spanish dictionary and then never learn Spanish. When you finish what you start, you leave yourself with a feeling of accomplishment.
- Every moment is sacred and precious. Enjoy every minute that you have.
- Luck is where opportunity meets preparation.
- If you learn from defeat, you haven't really lost.
- If you can dream it, then you can achieve it.
- What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.
- When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.
- Of all the attitudes we can acquire, surely the attitude of gratitude is the most important and by far the most life-changing.
- Every choice you make has an end result.
- When we do more than we are paid to do, eventually we will be paid more for what we do.
- If you aim at nothing, you will hit it every time.
- There are no traffic jams on the extra mile.
- Among the things you can give and still keep are your word, a smile, and a grateful heart.
Lots to think about. :)
I wonder what noon sharp really means? Is there a 'noon flat'?
Best get working on that Performance Appraisal ;)
Take care everyone.
I wonder what noon sharp really means? Is there a 'noon flat'?
Best get working on that Performance Appraisal ;)
Take care everyone.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Money Matters
On Monday when Rod and I went to Costco we found many good deals so we stocked up on non-perishable items, we even found a couple of great sweaters for Rod that were half price. The sweaters had the checkout ladies talking and working out how they could take advantage of the deal before their shift was over and/or they were sold out. Next week I will also be getting my annual Costco rebate check which will cover more than one Costco trip, nice to have that to look forward to.
Yesterday, as I waited in the carwash line I cleaned out my wallet and added the grocery coupons I get from my gas purchases together with the ones that Rod had acquired. I then went and purchased the grocery items that I don't or can't buy at Costco. As the coupons were entered my bill went down to one quarter of what it had been originally. It is somehow very satisfying to see the numbers going down right in front of your eyes, wish it worked that way with weight loss ;).
My 'to do' list for yesterday afternoon included calling our local cable company and re-negotiating some of the services we are receiving. In doing this I was able to cut that bill in half, not bad for 10 minutes on the phone.
Next was to get some of my blue cross statements printed so we could submit to Rod's insurance. In the process I realized that I still have some credits for last year in my personal spending account that need to be used, good thing I was looking, I have some receipts I can submit for that.
While all of this felt very good, it didn't end there. In the mail I had a letter telling me that my car payments were covered for one more month - wonderful!
As I was still quietly celebrating my financially successful day Rod came home and handed me two coffee cards he had received - one for Tim Horton's and, if I have a taste for something different another day, one for Second Cup.
I'll say it again - I am blessed! Anyone want to go out for coffee? ;)
Take care everyone.
Yesterday, as I waited in the carwash line I cleaned out my wallet and added the grocery coupons I get from my gas purchases together with the ones that Rod had acquired. I then went and purchased the grocery items that I don't or can't buy at Costco. As the coupons were entered my bill went down to one quarter of what it had been originally. It is somehow very satisfying to see the numbers going down right in front of your eyes, wish it worked that way with weight loss ;).
My 'to do' list for yesterday afternoon included calling our local cable company and re-negotiating some of the services we are receiving. In doing this I was able to cut that bill in half, not bad for 10 minutes on the phone.
Next was to get some of my blue cross statements printed so we could submit to Rod's insurance. In the process I realized that I still have some credits for last year in my personal spending account that need to be used, good thing I was looking, I have some receipts I can submit for that.
While all of this felt very good, it didn't end there. In the mail I had a letter telling me that my car payments were covered for one more month - wonderful!
As I was still quietly celebrating my financially successful day Rod came home and handed me two coffee cards he had received - one for Tim Horton's and, if I have a taste for something different another day, one for Second Cup.
I'll say it again - I am blessed! Anyone want to go out for coffee? ;)
Take care everyone.
Monday, January 7, 2013
MUGA Scan and more
It was a quiet weekend, I think that in addition to the possible Herceptin side effects I'm fighting a respiratory virus. I did accomplish a fair amount on Saturday morning in regards to housework and walking on the treadmill but I could not sustain that energy level through the afternoon or evening. We did end up going out late evening to the children's hospital to be with some good friends. Rod and I have known Barry and Bev since before we were married, they have two daughters Rhonda and Deanna. It was through Deanna that my son Justin met his wife Leah (you can see why Deanna has a special place in my heart). Deanna and her husband Scot have two little girls, the oldest, Kelty is about 2 1/2 and the sweetest little girl you ever saw. My grandson Keiran and Kelty are good friends. Kelty became ill last week with croup symptoms. On Friday she was airlifted to Calgary due to the severity of her condition. Mom and Dad weren't allowed to travel with her so they ended up coming separately in two cars, Barry and Scot drove together and Bev and Deanna came together with baby Roslyn.
It is in times like these that social media is at it's best. Deanna and her sister Rhonda posted about what was happening and a welcoming 'party' was quickly arranged so Kelty would not be alone upon her arrival. Her trip and her parents trips as well as her health were covered in prayers. All in the space of minutes via Facebook.
Kelty did pretty good Friday evening and most of Saturday but early evening she ended up having a respiratory arrest and being admitted to ICU. Leah let us know what was going on so Rod and I went over to see if we could be of any help. What we found were an amazingly courageous little girl, two amazingly strong parents, one fairly oblivious baby girl and two slightly frazzled grandparents :).
We visited a little with the grandparents while Kelty was having a nebulizer and then went in and prayed with Kelty and her parents. The most pressing need we could pinpoint was that Roslyn needed some formula and it was late therefore we would need a 24 hour pharmacy. Who knew there were so many varieties of formula? Rod and I read every package thoroughly and tried to determine which would be gentlest to little Roslyn's tummy. I was conflicted as to which to buy and quickly prayed for guidance. Just after that prayer, Rod picked up one brand and said he was getting that one, good enough of an answer for me. We purchased it, safely delivered it and then drove home. I hope it did turn out to be something that Roslyn tolerated.
Sunday's biggest accomplishment was walking on the treadmill and a chicken dinner for supper, exciting eh? We did hear good news regarding Kelty, she graduated out of ICU and seems to be doing much better.
This a.m. found me in a radiology clinic waiting for my MUGA scan. The waiting area for this procedure is separate from the main waiting area. On my arrival I shared it with a couple, the woman was also having a MUGA. I kept looking at her hair. I think she is a little further along than me in treatment and had the cutest dark brown curls, very attractive on her. I can only hope mine might do similar, although all signs are pointing to me being predominantly white when my hair grows out.
Her husband and I companionably shared the waiting room while she had her scan, we both had our electronic devices and our coffee to keep us occupied for the half hour she was in the room. You can almost tell the 'professional patients and partners' at this point in the process. Just previous to her scan I had my IV injection to prepare my blood to accept the radioactive tracer.
I spent about the same amount of time in my scan, ten minutes of pictures on the left with ECG and five minutes on the right with time prior for positioning and drawing the blood, adding the tracer and then reinjecting it into me. The results should be available for my oncologist in about two days, I have an appointment to see her next Monday. My baseline MUGA was in August. The results of this one will be compared against it, if all is well I will continue with Herceptin for three more months before I am scanned again. If they are concerned, I will be referred to a cardiologist and may need meds and a 'herceptin holiday'.
In the meantime I will glow in the dark.
Take care everyone.
It is in times like these that social media is at it's best. Deanna and her sister Rhonda posted about what was happening and a welcoming 'party' was quickly arranged so Kelty would not be alone upon her arrival. Her trip and her parents trips as well as her health were covered in prayers. All in the space of minutes via Facebook.
Kelty did pretty good Friday evening and most of Saturday but early evening she ended up having a respiratory arrest and being admitted to ICU. Leah let us know what was going on so Rod and I went over to see if we could be of any help. What we found were an amazingly courageous little girl, two amazingly strong parents, one fairly oblivious baby girl and two slightly frazzled grandparents :).
We visited a little with the grandparents while Kelty was having a nebulizer and then went in and prayed with Kelty and her parents. The most pressing need we could pinpoint was that Roslyn needed some formula and it was late therefore we would need a 24 hour pharmacy. Who knew there were so many varieties of formula? Rod and I read every package thoroughly and tried to determine which would be gentlest to little Roslyn's tummy. I was conflicted as to which to buy and quickly prayed for guidance. Just after that prayer, Rod picked up one brand and said he was getting that one, good enough of an answer for me. We purchased it, safely delivered it and then drove home. I hope it did turn out to be something that Roslyn tolerated.
Sunday's biggest accomplishment was walking on the treadmill and a chicken dinner for supper, exciting eh? We did hear good news regarding Kelty, she graduated out of ICU and seems to be doing much better.
This a.m. found me in a radiology clinic waiting for my MUGA scan. The waiting area for this procedure is separate from the main waiting area. On my arrival I shared it with a couple, the woman was also having a MUGA. I kept looking at her hair. I think she is a little further along than me in treatment and had the cutest dark brown curls, very attractive on her. I can only hope mine might do similar, although all signs are pointing to me being predominantly white when my hair grows out.
Her husband and I companionably shared the waiting room while she had her scan, we both had our electronic devices and our coffee to keep us occupied for the half hour she was in the room. You can almost tell the 'professional patients and partners' at this point in the process. Just previous to her scan I had my IV injection to prepare my blood to accept the radioactive tracer.
I spent about the same amount of time in my scan, ten minutes of pictures on the left with ECG and five minutes on the right with time prior for positioning and drawing the blood, adding the tracer and then reinjecting it into me. The results should be available for my oncologist in about two days, I have an appointment to see her next Monday. My baseline MUGA was in August. The results of this one will be compared against it, if all is well I will continue with Herceptin for three more months before I am scanned again. If they are concerned, I will be referred to a cardiologist and may need meds and a 'herceptin holiday'.
In the meantime I will glow in the dark.
Take care everyone.
Friday, January 4, 2013
HER2 positive and Herceptin
Yesterday was my first solo Herceptin treatment at the cancer center. Some people thought that I was finished 'chemo' and were surprised to hear that I am still going to the cancer center every three weeks until October 2013 for treatments. I decided that this might be a good opportunity to explain HER2, what it means to be HER2 positive, what Herceptin is, how it works and what some of its side effects are.
The information that I am providing has been drawn from a variety of sources, I have put them together in a way that I feel provides an OK description without getting too overly complicated.
I'll start with what HER2 stands for - HER-2 is the acronym that was created to describe the 'human epidermal growth factor receptor 2' gene.
The HER2 gene is responsible for making HER2 protein. When the gene is present in normal amounts, the protein plays an important role in normal cell growth and development. The HER2 protein transmits signals directing cell growth. A healthy breast cell has two copies of the HER2 gene. HER2 positive breast cancer gets started when a breast cell has an overexpression of the HER2 gene. These 'extra' copies start producing too much of the HER2 protein resulting in the affected cells being 'given orders' to grow and divide much too quickly.
A tumor is tested for HER2 status as part of the pathology performed after biopsy, lumpectomy or mastectomy.
It is estimated that about one in five women diagnosed with breast cancer have HER2 positive tumours. HER2 positive breast cancers tend to be more aggressive than other types of breast cancer and they are more likely to spread to lymph nodes and other organs. Due to this, in the past, women with HER2 positive breast cancer had a poor prognosis (higher rate of recurrence and mortality).
Enter the work of Dr. Dennis Slamon in bringing us Herceptin, first approved for use in advanced breast cancer in 1998, then more widely used for earlier stage HER2 positive breast cancer in 2005. The name herceptin is derived from HER2 and from the words 'intercept' and 'inhibitor'.
Herceptin is a targeted therapy that works by attaching itself to the HER2 receptors on breast cancer cells and blocking them from receiving growth signals. By blocking these signals, Herceptin may slow or even stop the growth of the breast cancer cells. Herceptin may also alert the immune system to destroy cancer cells onto which it is attached.
There is a wonderful movie about Dr. Slamon's work that I have watched recently and would recommend if anyone is interested in what went into getting Herceptin into clinical trials and approved. The movie is titled 'Living Proof' and stars Harry Connick Jr, well done and not too clinical, the focus is more on relationships and on the stories of the women that he worked with in the clinical trials.
For a primary breast cancer, Herceptin is usually given once every three weeks for a year. I had my first three infusions in combination with the chemo drug Taxotere and now I will continue for 14 treatments of Herceptin alone, once every three weeks, given intravenously through my port.
Some of the most common side effects of Herceptin can be low grade fever with chills, weakness, nausea and body pain. Less common side effects include headache, abdominal pain, back pain, infection from decreased white blood cell count, flu-like symptoms, vomiting and diarrhea, sleep problems, skin rash, dizziness, swelling of the feet, ankles or hands and neuropathy (tingling of fingers and toes). It can cause heart problems and congestive heart failure which is one of the reasons they did a baseline MUGA scan on me last summer prior to starting chemo and why I am having another MUGA scan on January 7th.
The list of side effects can seem overwhelming at first look but not every one has every side effect, some people are lucky enough to have none. So far following my first solo Herceptin I did experience a headache last evening, accompanied by a feeling like I have a head cold that started while it was infusing. I'm told that Kleenex will continue to be my best friend during treatment due to the runny nose that is common with treatment. I was already experiencing body pain and neuropathy from the previous chemo so it's hard to tell if it is any worse than it was before, definitely tolerable at the moment anyway. I also have been experiencing some swelling prior to yesterday's treatment, so far it is no worse than it had been before.
Due to the possibility of side effects, my oncologist has scheduled my treatments to occur on a Thursday so that I have a long weekend (if needed) in which to get over the worst of the effects before going back to work on the following Monday.
There you have it, Herceptin and HER2 in a nutshell.
Take care, everyone.
The information that I am providing has been drawn from a variety of sources, I have put them together in a way that I feel provides an OK description without getting too overly complicated.
I'll start with what HER2 stands for - HER-2 is the acronym that was created to describe the 'human epidermal growth factor receptor 2' gene.
The HER2 gene is responsible for making HER2 protein. When the gene is present in normal amounts, the protein plays an important role in normal cell growth and development. The HER2 protein transmits signals directing cell growth. A healthy breast cell has two copies of the HER2 gene. HER2 positive breast cancer gets started when a breast cell has an overexpression of the HER2 gene. These 'extra' copies start producing too much of the HER2 protein resulting in the affected cells being 'given orders' to grow and divide much too quickly.
A tumor is tested for HER2 status as part of the pathology performed after biopsy, lumpectomy or mastectomy.
It is estimated that about one in five women diagnosed with breast cancer have HER2 positive tumours. HER2 positive breast cancers tend to be more aggressive than other types of breast cancer and they are more likely to spread to lymph nodes and other organs. Due to this, in the past, women with HER2 positive breast cancer had a poor prognosis (higher rate of recurrence and mortality).
Enter the work of Dr. Dennis Slamon in bringing us Herceptin, first approved for use in advanced breast cancer in 1998, then more widely used for earlier stage HER2 positive breast cancer in 2005. The name herceptin is derived from HER2 and from the words 'intercept' and 'inhibitor'.
Herceptin is a targeted therapy that works by attaching itself to the HER2 receptors on breast cancer cells and blocking them from receiving growth signals. By blocking these signals, Herceptin may slow or even stop the growth of the breast cancer cells. Herceptin may also alert the immune system to destroy cancer cells onto which it is attached.
There is a wonderful movie about Dr. Slamon's work that I have watched recently and would recommend if anyone is interested in what went into getting Herceptin into clinical trials and approved. The movie is titled 'Living Proof' and stars Harry Connick Jr, well done and not too clinical, the focus is more on relationships and on the stories of the women that he worked with in the clinical trials.
For a primary breast cancer, Herceptin is usually given once every three weeks for a year. I had my first three infusions in combination with the chemo drug Taxotere and now I will continue for 14 treatments of Herceptin alone, once every three weeks, given intravenously through my port.
Some of the most common side effects of Herceptin can be low grade fever with chills, weakness, nausea and body pain. Less common side effects include headache, abdominal pain, back pain, infection from decreased white blood cell count, flu-like symptoms, vomiting and diarrhea, sleep problems, skin rash, dizziness, swelling of the feet, ankles or hands and neuropathy (tingling of fingers and toes). It can cause heart problems and congestive heart failure which is one of the reasons they did a baseline MUGA scan on me last summer prior to starting chemo and why I am having another MUGA scan on January 7th.
The list of side effects can seem overwhelming at first look but not every one has every side effect, some people are lucky enough to have none. So far following my first solo Herceptin I did experience a headache last evening, accompanied by a feeling like I have a head cold that started while it was infusing. I'm told that Kleenex will continue to be my best friend during treatment due to the runny nose that is common with treatment. I was already experiencing body pain and neuropathy from the previous chemo so it's hard to tell if it is any worse than it was before, definitely tolerable at the moment anyway. I also have been experiencing some swelling prior to yesterday's treatment, so far it is no worse than it had been before.
Due to the possibility of side effects, my oncologist has scheduled my treatments to occur on a Thursday so that I have a long weekend (if needed) in which to get over the worst of the effects before going back to work on the following Monday.
There you have it, Herceptin and HER2 in a nutshell.
Take care, everyone.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
A New Year
New Year's Eve was a quiet one for Rod and I but we did manage to stay up to ring in the New Year together, thanks to two short daytime naps on my part. Leah had posted a short video of Keiran on Facebook, so I had it ready. At the stroke of midnight I played it, Keiran wished us an 'ap-py New Year!' This brought a big smile to Rod's face :)
Yesteday morning, we talked to both Mom's and then went over to the rehab facility to visit with my Mom. She was having lunch when we got there so we sat with her and her meal partner and visited. Following lunch we took Mom outside. It was a beautiful warm and sunny day and the mountains were very clear in the background, nice to be outside and able to enjoy it together.
Rod and I wanted to start the New Year right diet-wise so we decided to go to Chili's Texas Grill and order a fajita trio between the two of us, substituting lettuce wraps for the tortillas. Great lunch to share and somehow it made us feel so righteous after our Christmas holiday indulgences ;)
The rest of the afternoon and evening were spent at home, I did walk on the treadmill for 35 minutes, most of it at 2.5 at an incline of 2, progress - slow, but still progress! I read a quote the other day that said 'I may be slow but I'm lapping everyone sitting on the couch' ;)
I have some goals that I have set for myself for the next month and today I will make a start on making them reality. Nothing overly ambitious but it feels good to be looking ahead.
Take care everyone
Yesteday morning, we talked to both Mom's and then went over to the rehab facility to visit with my Mom. She was having lunch when we got there so we sat with her and her meal partner and visited. Following lunch we took Mom outside. It was a beautiful warm and sunny day and the mountains were very clear in the background, nice to be outside and able to enjoy it together.
Rod and I wanted to start the New Year right diet-wise so we decided to go to Chili's Texas Grill and order a fajita trio between the two of us, substituting lettuce wraps for the tortillas. Great lunch to share and somehow it made us feel so righteous after our Christmas holiday indulgences ;)
The rest of the afternoon and evening were spent at home, I did walk on the treadmill for 35 minutes, most of it at 2.5 at an incline of 2, progress - slow, but still progress! I read a quote the other day that said 'I may be slow but I'm lapping everyone sitting on the couch' ;)
I have some goals that I have set for myself for the next month and today I will make a start on making them reality. Nothing overly ambitious but it feels good to be looking ahead.
Take care everyone
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