And Then There Were Three

The weekend has been all I could have hoped for and more. So many good memories to pull out when I need them.

Yesterday, we had a relaxed morning with a breakfast featuring pumpkin cream cheese muffins that were started by Keiran and Leah at their home and finished up in my kitchen, making it smell wonderful once again and the muffins lived up to their promise completely. Now I also know how Keiran is becoming such a good count-er, he helped keep Leah on track as she measured out the ingredients with him.

In the afternoon, as has become my custom, I did not sleep alone during my nap. This time I shared my bed with Forrest who contentedly snuggled under my arm, his sweet baby sighs punctuated by his little toes moving in time with them. When he woke up, I expected he would be a little startled and possibly scared but instead I was rewarded with one of his huge trademark smiles - quite something when you consider it was his first time seeing the recipient of that smile bald ;).

Evening saw us having a make do supper along with Caleb and Leisha. The evening continued to our backyard where Justin had built a fire, we sat around the fire in the dark, drinking tea, roasting marshmallows and visiting.


It was an early morning today in order for us to be ready for The Run for the Cure. I was overwhelmed at the number of people there, it was a good thing Caleb was wearing a bra and a tutu or I'm not sure we would have found my coworkers, they spotted him first. That is one boy who has never minded getting attention! Many of our group ran the 5 km while others did the 1 km walk and others of us did the 5 km walk. Some, like my co-worker Lisa and her husband and Justin and Caleb did both the run and then the walk. There were bands, singers, jazzercizers and well wishes all along the way to keep us encouraged as we walked. Wonderful morning.

Caleb and Justin walking the 5K after running it

 Once home again it was full into preparations for the Thanksgiving dinner. I'm not quite sure what happened to the turkey but I'm afraid to say it almost looked like it had exploded in the roaster while we were out. The majority of the meat was salvageable and even tasted quite good but it certainly didn't have the appearance of the traditional bird that is carved at the table. Everyone pitched in and the meal was great, I am slowly learning that if my attitude is good and I can roll with the unexpected and the imperfect that, in the end, it is not the food that people actually remember, it is the good times spent together.

Now the house is seeming rather quiet with just the three of us again and I am starting to look to the week ahead. As I do I will leave with you this song I heard today called "Holding My World". It seems to sum up the theme of trusting and knowing that God is in control - a good place to be.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?gl=CA&hl=en-GB&client=mv-google&v=nJfGCKD9g_4&nomobile=1

Take care, everyone

Thanksgiving

The weekend is finally here and it is going to be a good one.

Justin, Leah and kids arrived this evening, and this is how it started -

Keiran had already sung his ABC's to me within an hour of his arrival. While he and Lilly were having their bedtime snack at the table he began making loud squealing type noises.

Justin told him to stop with the admonition, "Nobody likes that".

Keiran  said,  "I do".

Justin's response, "But you don't count on this one".

Keiran didn't miss a beat with, ''I count", followed by a demonstration of just how well he did count. In fact, all the way up to twenty.

It was very difficult to try to keep a straight face through that exchange!

This should be a fun early Thanksgiving;)

Blessings

Today I attended the first meeting of a book club organized by my friend Dawn. She provided the first book for us to review as a gift to me shortly after my surgery. The name of the book is 'Birthmark' and the author is Suzanne Benner. I very much enjoyed reading this novel which centers around adoption and identity and discussing it today with the other ladies that attended. The highlight of today's session was having the author of the book stop by to answer questions and share in our discussion. She is a lovely lady and I enjoyed her answers to our questions and hearing the process of how the book came to be.

One of the other ladies who attended today knew of me through Dawn. Her husband is also going through  chemotherapy currently. It touched me that she brought a hand-made prayer shawl to give to me without even having met me. I look forward to getting to know her better over the months that we get together for the bookclub.

After the discussion ended,  I needed to leave for an appointment. The other ladies were getting ready to eat a lovely looking (and smelling) lunch. Those who know me and Rod were a little confused when I told them that the appointment was for my car. Normally Rod's business would take care of my automotive repairs and they found it strange that I needed to make an appointment with Rod to have my car worked on in the first place and second that he wouldn't understand if  I was late for it. That made me laugh! This appointment was for my windshield on the car I bought last October. In order to maintain the warranty I have to have the diamond finish 'revitalized' yearly and the appointment was at a local auto glass shop, The finish was an expensive add-on when I purchased the car and I wanted to make sure I made the October 8th deadline in order to not void the warranty. With chemo planned for Tuesday next week and us going away for the following week there was a small window to accomplish this. 

The 'revitalization' didn't take long, I wish there was a similar process for humans that could be done in a similar timeframe! ;). Once completed, the receptionist came over to me in the waiting room and handed me my keys, telling me my car was ready and I could go. I told her that  from information provided when the appointment was booked there was supposed to be a fee charged. She seemed surprised, went to have a look, responded that indeed there was and thanked me for reminding her. Little did she know that as I was driving over I happened to see a sign outside of a church that said something to the effect that an item stolen became a burden to the thief. I didn't need that! ;)

When I bought the car I was also persuaded to take out a disability insurance on my loan. I had never done this with previous purchases. This claim was one that I submitted a couple of weeks ago. It took quite a bit of work to gather all the information from work and my physicians that the company required. I was a little pessimistic that I probably wouldn't qualify as it seemed there was a lot of hoops to jump through and clauses that I felt could be used to deny a claim. I almost didn't submit the claim once I read through the forms they provided me.

When I got home there was a message on my answering machine. I returned the call and found out that my claim was approved! My car payments will be made for me for the period of my disability. The agent said they enjoyed giving good news to people and wished me well. I feel blessed :)

Take care everyone.

Trusting

Today I'm going to share another passage from the book 'Jesus Calling: A 365 Day Journaling Devotional' but as I share parts of today's devotion I am going to stop in places and comment.

It starts out like this -

Pour all of your energy into trusting Me. It is through trust that you stay connected to Me, aware of My Presence. Every step on your life-journey can be a step of faith.

Trusting can be difficult at times like this when things don't seem to go as planned. I gave some positives to the chemo delay of a week yesterday, I will add one here. My friend from Saskatchewan who was diagnosed in a similar time-frame to me is also having the same type of chemo protocol as me, including the Herceptin for one year. She started after me so has had one treatment and is at the hair falling out stage prior to next week's chemo. It seems that October 2nd will be the day we both go to the big girl chair next week and then, all going well, every three weeks again after that. While I wouldn't wish chemo on anybody, if you have to have it there is a nice feeling about knowing that someone that you've shared so many other experiences with in life is also going through their chemo on the very same day as you.

Baby steps of trust are simple for you; you can take them with almost unconscious ease. Giant steps are another matter altogether: leaping across chasms in semi-darkness, scaling cliffs of uncertainty, trudging through the valley of the shadow of death. these feats require sheer concentration, as well as utter commitment to Me.

Not much to add there except to say that knowledge of how low my neutrophil count has been and how susceptible I am to serious infection made me feel fairly vulnerable last evening and fear wanted to creep in. In addition, after I dropped off my prescription for the Neulasta at the pharmacy today, I received a phone call stating that my insurance company had refused it as they require a pre-authorization request to be submitted by my doctor. Without the pre-authorization I would be out of pocket almost $3,000 for just one shot and I will need three over the next few months. My doctor thought the pre-authorization had been done for me by her nurse when she gave me the prescription; it is now in process but may take ten business days which is right about when we will be leaving on our trip and I am supposed to have the shot three days post-chemo; the pharmacy needs time to order it in after receiving insurance approval. I need to give it to God and know that He is in control, my part is to put the situation in His hands and then to leave it there and trust Him (that's where the sheer concentration, as well as utter commitment parts come in).

Each of My children is a unique blend of temperament, giftedness, and life experiences. Something that is a baby step for you may be a giant step for another person, and vice versa. Only I know the difficulty or ease of each segment of your journey. Beware of trying to impress others by acting as if your giant steps are only baby ones ...

That one hit home ;)

Do not judge others who hesitate, in trembling fear, before an act that would be easy for you. 

Guilty sometimes also, I wish I could say way back in my past but, unfortunately, not so long ago.

If each of my children would seek to please Me above all else, fear of others' judgments would vanish, as would attempts to impress others. Focus your attention on the path just ahead of you and on the One who never leaves your side.

How wonderful not to be alone on this journey. I am blessed in so many ways!

Take care, everyone.

No Chemo for You

I'm not sure how many people have watched the Seinfeld episodes with the 'soup nazi' who would adamantly say 'no soup for you!'.but today I was told by a very nice 'chemo nazi' that it wasn't safe to go ahead with chemo tomorrow due to my low neutrophil count so 'no chemo for you!'.

I am of two minds about this. I am happy to have a reprieve, however I had psyched myself up all weekend to get it and so it was a bit of a let-down to get the news. Everybody was also asking lots of extra questions and looking for the minutest signs of any infection, which is a little unnerving in itself.

I will have labwork again next Monday and if that is good, they will proceed  with chemo on Tuesday. This means that on the plus side, I will have several days this week to enjoy that I had kind of written off  as going to be post chemo non-productive days. I will feel better than I thought I would for the Race for the Cure and celebrating Thanksgiving early with family.

On the negative side is that I will only be four days post chemo when we fly out to Vancouver Island and I will have just had a shot on Friday that boosts the white blood cell count but in the process can cause severe bone pain.

I will take one day at a time and not borrow trouble, it will all work out and maybe Rod will have to wheel me around the tourist spots, if so, I will definitely need a seatbelt.


Take care everyone.

Further Confessions of a bald-headed lady

This weekend my relationships with three wonderful gentlemen were taken to new levels.

It started with Norman. Norman and I first met through his expertise in the autism field. He is the psychologist who has created the tools and started the workshops for young adults with Asperger's and High Functioning Autism. I would never have won the award last week for Leadership in the Autism Community had it not been for his work in this field, which he is passionate about and for which I now share a passion. Over the years that I have known Norman he has become a very good friend to both Rod and myself. I hadn't seen him for a few months until yesterday morning, he was at Rod's shop and just about to go on a test drive of a car with Rod. I have never hugged Norman before, but as I drove up it was so good to see him it just seemed the natural thing to greet each other with. My only fear following this encounter was that as Rod and Norman proceeded to spend the better part of the afternoon together the chili and chocolate cookies I had provided for Norman and family would not be edible after spending several hours in the car. I'm not sure why I didn't anticipate this given past experience in talking with him. Next time, I'll remember to pack any perishables provided well with ice. Sorry, Norman :(.

The second gentleman was Keiran. He has always been a very appreciative audience for my singing but last evening the tables were turned. I received a phone call from him. After greeting me he proceeded, with great pride, to serenade me with not one but two songs. The first was the ABC song which he sang in very good tune all the way through. This was followed by the song that he was going to sing at church this morning, The B-I-B-L-E. Once again, it was very recognizable and sung with great enthusiasm. I agreed with him that he now seems smart enough to go to school with Lilly, although I think they may require him to wait a few years anyway. By the way, he is also smart enough to know that if he pushes 're-dial' on the phone he can talk to the last person called. It was good to talk to you once again this morning, Keiran ;).

It seemed natural that, after the day I was having, Charlie and I should sleep together, which is exactly what happened. Charlie was a gentleman and waited patiently beside the bed until I invited him to join me. At that point he agilely (for a dog with three legs) jumped up onto the bed and snuggled in beside me, placing his paws on my hand as if we were holding hands and tucking his snout firmly under my arm. He was gentleman enough not to snore once,  however he was a little on the smelly side after the busy day he had. I kept that information to myself though, being the lady I was brought up to be ;)

Tomorrow will be another busy day starting with labwork at 0730 and an oncologist appointment following to see if I am once again OK'd to proceed with chemo number three on Tuesday. I have a physio appointment in the afternoon and I will need to squeeze in another visit to Costco afterwards as Tuesday's chemo is early this time. Good thing Charlie and I spent the majority of the morning resting together in the recliner, I think I needed that, even though he had to convince me this was the case ;).

Take care, everyone.

Looking Forward Once Again

I know that there are things I need to prepare ahead of time for my chemo on Tuesday but when I start those preparations then my mind can tend to focus on the chemo experience and I rob myself of the joy of today. With this in mind I thought that the message this morning in the devotional  book  'Jesus Calling - A Journaling Devotional'  was particularly appropriate -

Trust Me and refuse to worry, for I am your Strength and Song. You are feeling wobbly this morning, looking at difficult times looming ahead, measuring them against your own strength. However, they are not today's tasks - or even tomorrow's. So leave them in the future and come home to the present, where you will find Me waiting for you. Since I am your Strength, I can empower you to handle each task as it comes. 

Because  I am your Song, I can give you Joy as you work alongside Me.

 Just what I needed to read and it helped to focus me back on today - and what a beautiful day it has been.

Just as I have told others who have said to me that they don't think they would have the strength to go through some of the things I have gone through in my life, I haven't had the strength beforehand either but God has always been faithful to provide His strength when it was needed and I can trust and rest in Him and the knowledge that He will continue to be there for Me, as He has always been.

Take care, everyone.