January 29th is the anniversary date of my brother's death and it is never an easy day for me, no matter how far removed in time the date becomes. The weather today is also very cold, it snowed overnight and there is a forecast of snow again over the next 24 hours.
I knew that I would not want to venture out so I planned accordingly yesterday and tried to get as many of my errands as possible out of the way.
I have been gentle with myself today, spending the time reading, watching a little TV, remembering, praying and being quiet. While there is underlying sadness I am also feeling at peace, a similar peace to the peace that was very tangible to me throughout the days immediately following my brother's death in 1979, when I needed it to be able to do and get through all that was necessary at that time.
There is a passage in 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young from November 26th that I have read over today and tried to remember to put into practise as the day has progressed -
'...you must remember that you reside in a fallen world, where blessings and sorrow intermingle freely. A constant focus on adversity defeats many Christians. They walk through a day that is brimming with beauty and brightness, seeing only the grayness of their thoughts. Neglecting the practice of giving thanks has darkened their minds. How precious are My children who remember to thank Me at all times. They can walk through the darkest days with Joy in their hearts because they know that the Light of My Presence is still shining on them. Rejoice in this day that I have made, for I am your steadfast Companion.'
I will be thankful, He is my steadfast Companion and my identity is in Him.
Take care, everyone.
Tuesday, January 29, 2013
Saturday, January 26, 2013
A Perfect Blend
I started out yesterday by attending our team's monthly meeting at work. My friend Sherry was chairing the meeting this time. Typically, the person who chairs also brings treats. Even if I had not received a special invitation from Sherry to come to the meeting, knowing what a good baker she is and that her cookies always seem to be a perfect blend of ingredients I probably would have made an appearance anyway. When asked if I had anything I wanted to contribute to the meeting, my response was 'I'm just here for the cookies' ;)
I ended up staying around the office for a few other casual meetings. About the only side effects I was feeling from the previous day's Herceptin treatment was some generalized body achiness, a heavy head and the runny nose that is my constant companion.
The afternoon found me taking time for a nap and then I did a few things that needed doing around the house prior to a planned evening out. The day seemed a perfect blend of mental and physical activity as well as mental and physical rest.
I had received an email earlier in the week from Wellspring Calgary announcing a musical group would be performing Friday evening from 7 pm to 9 pm. I was immediately enticed to sign myself up by the description that was given - "when four singer/songwriters join forces, the outcome is Magnolia Buckskin - an acoustic quartet of sublime vocals and refreshing original songs that will elevate your soul....bringing you a blend of grassroots, folk and pop music. All four are accomplished songwriters and multi-instrumentalist, but the real magic is in their harmonies."
Following my nap and fairly lazy afternoon I was a little reluctant to venture out by myself for the evening but Rod had hockey and I had a feeling that the effort would be worth it. I arrived at Wellspring in time to find a good seat. The room that holds about fifty people rapidly filled, they actually had to bring in extra chairs, probably against fire code.
The ladies in Magnolia Buckskin are all teachers, they seemed very comfortable and relaxed in front of a group of people, the one difference they joked about during the 'concert' was that they weren't used to being listened to when in front of their daily 'audience'.
They all took turns singing the lead to the multiple songs that were sung and each played a variety of instruments throughout, from banjos, mandolins, accordions, acoustic and electric guitars, to a shaker and even a clarinet. The performance was very interactive with the audience, lots of chatting with us between the songs and eye contact while singing. My favorite part was when they asked us to sing along with them at various points in the evening. They did comment that they were surprised at how easily we complied with their request to sing with them, stating that normally their audiences tend to be reluctant to do this. My hypothesis in this regard is that having cancer removes a lot of inhibitions from people and you learn early on to 'enjoy the moment'.
We were entertained for two full hours with only a short 15 minute break in between sets. During that break we were asked to complete evaluations of the program for the Wellspring staff. The group is also recording an album currently and asked for any ideas we had regarding a title for it to be added to the bottom of the evaluation.
'A Perfect Blend' was my submission, it seems to describe the way their personalities, their voices, the types of songs and how their instruments all worked together. After the break they took time for a question and answer session followed by about five more songs and a standing ovation.
I was smiling the whole drive home. The best part of the evening - they have agreed to give a two hour workshop next Saturday on singing harmony. I immediately signed up. Now I have their performance from last evening to remember as well as next weeks worshop to look forward to.
A perfect blend.
Take care, everyone.
I ended up staying around the office for a few other casual meetings. About the only side effects I was feeling from the previous day's Herceptin treatment was some generalized body achiness, a heavy head and the runny nose that is my constant companion.
The afternoon found me taking time for a nap and then I did a few things that needed doing around the house prior to a planned evening out. The day seemed a perfect blend of mental and physical activity as well as mental and physical rest.
I had received an email earlier in the week from Wellspring Calgary announcing a musical group would be performing Friday evening from 7 pm to 9 pm. I was immediately enticed to sign myself up by the description that was given - "when four singer/songwriters join forces, the outcome is Magnolia Buckskin - an acoustic quartet of sublime vocals and refreshing original songs that will elevate your soul....bringing you a blend of grassroots, folk and pop music. All four are accomplished songwriters and multi-instrumentalist, but the real magic is in their harmonies."
Following my nap and fairly lazy afternoon I was a little reluctant to venture out by myself for the evening but Rod had hockey and I had a feeling that the effort would be worth it. I arrived at Wellspring in time to find a good seat. The room that holds about fifty people rapidly filled, they actually had to bring in extra chairs, probably against fire code.
The ladies in Magnolia Buckskin are all teachers, they seemed very comfortable and relaxed in front of a group of people, the one difference they joked about during the 'concert' was that they weren't used to being listened to when in front of their daily 'audience'.
They all took turns singing the lead to the multiple songs that were sung and each played a variety of instruments throughout, from banjos, mandolins, accordions, acoustic and electric guitars, to a shaker and even a clarinet. The performance was very interactive with the audience, lots of chatting with us between the songs and eye contact while singing. My favorite part was when they asked us to sing along with them at various points in the evening. They did comment that they were surprised at how easily we complied with their request to sing with them, stating that normally their audiences tend to be reluctant to do this. My hypothesis in this regard is that having cancer removes a lot of inhibitions from people and you learn early on to 'enjoy the moment'.
We were entertained for two full hours with only a short 15 minute break in between sets. During that break we were asked to complete evaluations of the program for the Wellspring staff. The group is also recording an album currently and asked for any ideas we had regarding a title for it to be added to the bottom of the evaluation.
'A Perfect Blend' was my submission, it seems to describe the way their personalities, their voices, the types of songs and how their instruments all worked together. After the break they took time for a question and answer session followed by about five more songs and a standing ovation.
I was smiling the whole drive home. The best part of the evening - they have agreed to give a two hour workshop next Saturday on singing harmony. I immediately signed up. Now I have their performance from last evening to remember as well as next weeks worshop to look forward to.
A perfect blend.
Take care, everyone.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Peace
Today's reading from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -
My Peace is the treasure of treasures; the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift, both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life's storms. If you have the world's peace - everything going your way - you don't seek My unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world. Matthew 13:45 (NKJV); James 1:2; John 16:33
When I received the letter from the insurance company on Monday and the phone calls over the last few days from the rehab facility regarding my Mom my first inclination was to be angry and then anxious. I gave these emotions and the situations to the Lord and asked for His intervention and guidance, then I tried not to take them back ;)
Yesterday, I spoke to my oncologist's administrative assistant. The oncologist is very supportive and she is having a letter drafted up and providing documentation to the insurance company to support my planned return to work date of April 1st. The insurance coordinator phoned me after this and suggested that the insurance company might be able to extend my return date by a week or two. How wonderful to already have the information from my oncologists office. I told her that my return to work day was April 1st and that the oncologist's office would be faxing the required documentation to her today. I was able to be calm and straightforward with the information and she said that everyone's treatment and response to treatment is different, then wished me well.
I received another call from the occupational therapist at the rehab facility. Everything has been put in place to acquire the equipment that Mom needs. I will continue to call every day to see if a wheelchair becomes available but I also did my own homework and I have found a source that will rent a wheelchair of the correct size and type for Mom at a moment's notice for a very reasonable price should one not become available before she is discharged.
The rehab social worker called me this a.m. to let me know that she has completed the work that was started by the hospital social worker prior to Mom's being transferred to the lodge and that Mom is now approved for and will receive a benefit to supplement her income to help with her increased fees at the new lodge.
I also received a very informative phone call regarding radiation therapy. I have been wondering what would be best for me to do. The information provided last evening led me to several newer studies on the internet and helped me in making my decision, now I need to set things in motion for this.
You would think that I would be on cloud nine with all of this happening and I am very thankful. My mood though seems to be impacted by the tamoxifen I started taking last week, very good reason not to rely on or go with my feelings. I am trying to work through the best time of day to take the med, some people have no side effects, others are not able to take it at all. I am told that it takes one to two months to get used to it so I am persevering. I am experiencing some low grade nausea since starting it as well as very much more intense hot flashes (joy!). I find myself waking up about 3 a.m. each morning and taking an hour or more to get back to sleep, if I get back to sleep. I am so thankful I am not yet trying to work while I am getting used to this.
One funny thing that happened when I woke last night at my usual 3 a.m. The waking up is accompanied by a huge hot flash and I was just in the midst of it when my wonderful husband, thinking he was being kind, pushed over the pre-heated magic bag he had brought to bed just in case I woke up and was cold. I literally shoved it back over to his side, along with all the covers on my side of the bed. He was a little stunned at first but then he said, "Oh, I guess you're not cold right now".
This morning as I was emptying the dishwasher I was feeling a little grumpy about it and then all of a sudden I realized how many people in this world would be overjoyed to have the clean dishes to empty from it. Having to empty and load it daily is evidence that we are eating well and a dishwasher itself is a luxury. Good reminder.
I will head over to the rehab facility with my Mom's wash and spend a little time with her early afternoon today, then it's over to the cancer center to the oncologist's office to tie up the loose threads for insurance. This will be followed by my bloodwork and then my Herceptin treatment.
Take care, everyone.
My Peace is the treasure of treasures; the pearl of great price. It is an exquisitely costly gift, both for the Giver and the receiver. I purchased this Peace for you with My blood. You receive this gift by trusting Me in the midst of life's storms. If you have the world's peace - everything going your way - you don't seek My unfathomable Peace. Thank Me when things do not go your way, because spiritual blessings come wrapped in trials. Adverse circumstances are normal in a fallen world. Expect them each day. Rejoice in the face of hardship, for I have overcome the world. Matthew 13:45 (NKJV); James 1:2; John 16:33
When I received the letter from the insurance company on Monday and the phone calls over the last few days from the rehab facility regarding my Mom my first inclination was to be angry and then anxious. I gave these emotions and the situations to the Lord and asked for His intervention and guidance, then I tried not to take them back ;)
Yesterday, I spoke to my oncologist's administrative assistant. The oncologist is very supportive and she is having a letter drafted up and providing documentation to the insurance company to support my planned return to work date of April 1st. The insurance coordinator phoned me after this and suggested that the insurance company might be able to extend my return date by a week or two. How wonderful to already have the information from my oncologists office. I told her that my return to work day was April 1st and that the oncologist's office would be faxing the required documentation to her today. I was able to be calm and straightforward with the information and she said that everyone's treatment and response to treatment is different, then wished me well.
I received another call from the occupational therapist at the rehab facility. Everything has been put in place to acquire the equipment that Mom needs. I will continue to call every day to see if a wheelchair becomes available but I also did my own homework and I have found a source that will rent a wheelchair of the correct size and type for Mom at a moment's notice for a very reasonable price should one not become available before she is discharged.
The rehab social worker called me this a.m. to let me know that she has completed the work that was started by the hospital social worker prior to Mom's being transferred to the lodge and that Mom is now approved for and will receive a benefit to supplement her income to help with her increased fees at the new lodge.
I also received a very informative phone call regarding radiation therapy. I have been wondering what would be best for me to do. The information provided last evening led me to several newer studies on the internet and helped me in making my decision, now I need to set things in motion for this.
You would think that I would be on cloud nine with all of this happening and I am very thankful. My mood though seems to be impacted by the tamoxifen I started taking last week, very good reason not to rely on or go with my feelings. I am trying to work through the best time of day to take the med, some people have no side effects, others are not able to take it at all. I am told that it takes one to two months to get used to it so I am persevering. I am experiencing some low grade nausea since starting it as well as very much more intense hot flashes (joy!). I find myself waking up about 3 a.m. each morning and taking an hour or more to get back to sleep, if I get back to sleep. I am so thankful I am not yet trying to work while I am getting used to this.
One funny thing that happened when I woke last night at my usual 3 a.m. The waking up is accompanied by a huge hot flash and I was just in the midst of it when my wonderful husband, thinking he was being kind, pushed over the pre-heated magic bag he had brought to bed just in case I woke up and was cold. I literally shoved it back over to his side, along with all the covers on my side of the bed. He was a little stunned at first but then he said, "Oh, I guess you're not cold right now".
This morning as I was emptying the dishwasher I was feeling a little grumpy about it and then all of a sudden I realized how many people in this world would be overjoyed to have the clean dishes to empty from it. Having to empty and load it daily is evidence that we are eating well and a dishwasher itself is a luxury. Good reminder.
I will head over to the rehab facility with my Mom's wash and spend a little time with her early afternoon today, then it's over to the cancer center to the oncologist's office to tie up the loose threads for insurance. This will be followed by my bloodwork and then my Herceptin treatment.
Take care, everyone.
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
Growth Opportunities
Today's reading from 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -
Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment - accepting things exactly as they are - and search for My way in the midst of those cirumstances.
Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind. Psalm 52:8; Proverbs 3:5 - 6
It seems like there was a bit of a reprieve at the beginning of January where things were very quiet. In the last few days a few thiings have come up to help me 'lean on the staff of trust' more.
I received a letter from my long term disability insurance coordinator yesterday. I spoke with her last week following my medical oncologist appointment. During the conversation I told her that the oncologist had said we would discuss my back to work plan at our next visit. At the end of our phone conversation she was very pleasant and said that she would continue to be in touch. This letter was not quite what I thought she had meant about continuing to be in touch. It was brief but basically stated that the insurance company considered me capable of returning to work as of February 1st. There was a form included that I am supposed to have the oncologist complete regarding my 'return to work' activities. The letter also stated that if there were any reasons that I was not able to return to work as of that date that it was my responsibility to provide the details and necessary documentation to her before then. A little anxiety producing given that today is January 22nd.
There was also a call from the occupational therapist at the rehab center where my Mom is currently. She indicated that Mom may be able to go 'home' as early as today but I would need to have some things in place prior to that, including obtaining a wheelchair for her, a different type of walker and a few other pieces of equipment. She called early afternoon with this information. I explained that Mom was in a SL4 designated lodge and that she had a case manager that I had been told was responsible for assessing and authorizing additional equipment such as what they were suggesting. I gave her the phone number for this person. She called once again this morning saying that the case manager at the lodge said that she didn't authorize wheelchairs and the lodge couldn't provide one temporarily.
As it turned out for today, the physiotherapist told the occupational therapist they were not ready to release Mom from their care, they feel she requires more time in the rehab center becoming steadier using the walker. In the meantime, I have been asked to contact a local agency daily to see if a wheelchair becomes available for Mom's use as it could take up to six months or more to obtain her own wheelchair through the aids to daily living program.
I also spoke with the social worker from the rehab center this morning and have some 'homework' from that conversation, I believe the outcome from this work should be positive for Mom's pocketbook.
How wonderful to go back to the 'Jesus Calling' reading for today, re-read it a few times over, view these circumstances as growth opportunities and then trust.
Take care everyone.
Strive to trust Me in more and more areas of your life. Anything that tends to make you anxious is a growth opportunity. Instead of running away from these challenges, embrace them, eager to gain all the blessings I have hidden in the difficulties. If you believe that I am sovereign over every aspect of your life, it is possible to trust Me in all situations. Don't waste energy regretting the way things are or thinking about what might have been. Start at the present moment - accepting things exactly as they are - and search for My way in the midst of those cirumstances.
Trust is like a staff you can lean on, as you journey uphill with Me. If you are trusting in Me consistently, the staff will bear as much of your weight as needed. Lean on, trust, and be confident in Me with all your heart and mind. Psalm 52:8; Proverbs 3:5 - 6
It seems like there was a bit of a reprieve at the beginning of January where things were very quiet. In the last few days a few thiings have come up to help me 'lean on the staff of trust' more.
I received a letter from my long term disability insurance coordinator yesterday. I spoke with her last week following my medical oncologist appointment. During the conversation I told her that the oncologist had said we would discuss my back to work plan at our next visit. At the end of our phone conversation she was very pleasant and said that she would continue to be in touch. This letter was not quite what I thought she had meant about continuing to be in touch. It was brief but basically stated that the insurance company considered me capable of returning to work as of February 1st. There was a form included that I am supposed to have the oncologist complete regarding my 'return to work' activities. The letter also stated that if there were any reasons that I was not able to return to work as of that date that it was my responsibility to provide the details and necessary documentation to her before then. A little anxiety producing given that today is January 22nd.
There was also a call from the occupational therapist at the rehab center where my Mom is currently. She indicated that Mom may be able to go 'home' as early as today but I would need to have some things in place prior to that, including obtaining a wheelchair for her, a different type of walker and a few other pieces of equipment. She called early afternoon with this information. I explained that Mom was in a SL4 designated lodge and that she had a case manager that I had been told was responsible for assessing and authorizing additional equipment such as what they were suggesting. I gave her the phone number for this person. She called once again this morning saying that the case manager at the lodge said that she didn't authorize wheelchairs and the lodge couldn't provide one temporarily.
As it turned out for today, the physiotherapist told the occupational therapist they were not ready to release Mom from their care, they feel she requires more time in the rehab center becoming steadier using the walker. In the meantime, I have been asked to contact a local agency daily to see if a wheelchair becomes available for Mom's use as it could take up to six months or more to obtain her own wheelchair through the aids to daily living program.
I also spoke with the social worker from the rehab center this morning and have some 'homework' from that conversation, I believe the outcome from this work should be positive for Mom's pocketbook.
How wonderful to go back to the 'Jesus Calling' reading for today, re-read it a few times over, view these circumstances as growth opportunities and then trust.
Take care everyone.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes ...
A while back I posted about my grandchildren sending me cards with the theme of 'My Favorite Things'. I was thinking of that this morning as I was looking in the mirror -
From the 'Sound of Music' lyrics -
'... snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.'
I am actually starting to grow eyelashes back and the snowflakes are sticking to them! :)
If I use a magnifying glass I can also see the beginnings of eyebrows returning and there are prickles on my head that show promise of becoming hair.
From my 'Jesus Calling' book by Sarah Young this morning. I am substituting some words which I have placed in parentheses to make it more personal for me -
As you make plans for (this time), remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life. (In times) when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence. (In times) when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected. It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours. Don't try to figure out what is happening. Simply trust Me and thank Me in advance for the good that will come out of it all. I know the plans I have for you, and they are good.
The winter is showing promise of melting into spring ;)
Take care, everyone
From the 'Sound of Music' lyrics -
'... snowflakes that stay on my nose and eyelashes,
silver white winters that melt into springs,
these are a few of my favorite things.'
I am actually starting to grow eyelashes back and the snowflakes are sticking to them! :)
If I use a magnifying glass I can also see the beginnings of eyebrows returning and there are prickles on my head that show promise of becoming hair.
From my 'Jesus Calling' book by Sarah Young this morning. I am substituting some words which I have placed in parentheses to make it more personal for me -
As you make plans for (this time), remember that it is I who orchestrate the events of your life. (In times) when things go smoothly, according to your plans, you may be unaware of My sovereign Presence. (In times) when your plans are thwarted, be on the lookout for Me! I may be doing something important in your life, something quite different from what you expected. It is essential at such times to stay in communication with Me, accepting My way as better than yours. Don't try to figure out what is happening. Simply trust Me and thank Me in advance for the good that will come out of it all. I know the plans I have for you, and they are good.
The winter is showing promise of melting into spring ;)
Take care, everyone
Friday, January 18, 2013
The Power of Choice
Recently I purchased a book by a gentleman named Nic Vujicic who was born with tetra-amelia syndrome, a rare disorder characterised by the absence of all four limbs. The book is called 'Life without Limits' and details the struggles he had early in life and what has lead him to the rich and full life he is leading now. I am trying to get through a few other books at the moment so I thought I would let my mother read it first - she has been feeling a little discouraged with her progress following her recent hip fracture.
In the past few days several of my friends posted a video on Facebook that featured Nic on an Oprah Lifeclass segment with Pastor Rick Warren. The subject of the Lifeclass is on 'living the hand you are dealt' and the power of choice. It was very inspirational and has motivated me to 'choose' to get these other books read faster so that I can read Nic's book. I know Mom will have finished the book, I think my friend Ev has secretly been giving her speed reading lessons ;).
Here is the link to the Oprah Lifeclass segment -
http://.youtube.com/#/watch?sns=fb&v=ZPW3EB5U0bo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZPW3EB5U0bo%26sns%3Dfb
Here are three other quotes that I feel go nicely with the video -
Do what you can with what you have where you are - Theodore Roosevelt
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change - Wayne Dyer
When we are no longer able to change the situation - we are challenged to change ourselves - Viktor E. Frankl
Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend.
In the past few days several of my friends posted a video on Facebook that featured Nic on an Oprah Lifeclass segment with Pastor Rick Warren. The subject of the Lifeclass is on 'living the hand you are dealt' and the power of choice. It was very inspirational and has motivated me to 'choose' to get these other books read faster so that I can read Nic's book. I know Mom will have finished the book, I think my friend Ev has secretly been giving her speed reading lessons ;).
Here is the link to the Oprah Lifeclass segment -
http://.youtube.com/#/watch?sns=fb&v=ZPW3EB5U0bo&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DZPW3EB5U0bo%26sns%3Dfb
Here are three other quotes that I feel go nicely with the video -
Do what you can with what you have where you are - Theodore Roosevelt
Change the way you look at things, and the things you look at change - Wayne Dyer
When we are no longer able to change the situation - we are challenged to change ourselves - Viktor E. Frankl
Take care everyone and have a wonderful weekend.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Meeting Veterans on the Journey
Before I begin today's post I have to add a few more reasons that I am smiling -
On Monday evening I had the pleasure of participating in an information gathering session for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I signed up for it but I am so happy that I went.
The session went for three hours. When I first arrived I was directed to find a table and then help myself to sandwiches and something to drink. The first table I sat at turned out to be the table the regional coordinator was sitting at, a lovely lady but I had to move when they started as they needed at least four people at a table and she was going to wander around the room and participate in as many of the table discussions as she could.
This then placed me at a table with five other ladies. I was one of the few in the room who were currently still going through treatment. Three of the ladies at my table were 18 to 25 year survivors, and two were friends of ladies who were either going through breast cancer currently or had breast cancer in the past. The other tables contained similar and different mixes.
We were assigned a series of tasks during the evening and through these tasks we got to know the people at our tables better and hear of their unique experiences. Very touching, there was laughter and there were tears.
I would like to describe the ladies I met at our table but I will not use their names. The first survivor I will call 'support lady'. She used to work as a volunteer with an agency in the city that provided support to women going through breast cancer - from diagnosis through treatment. She was a very warm and caring person and I can see that she would have been very good in this role. The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act came into play while she was volunteering with the agency and they were no longer able to reach out to individuals to see if they would like support, instead the women needed to contact them. The numbers of women that would actually reach out and ask for support initially without being offered it (if they even knew it was available) were low and eventually her role and the agency ceased to exist. I could tell that she had been very good at her support role and grieved losing this opportunity to share her experience and help others.
The second survivor was a meek looking woman who surprised me a little when she told us her story. She seemed a little hesitant to speak up and sometimes even a little bewildered as to why she was there. She had found her lump and gone to her family doctor who told her he felt it was nothing. Even as meek as she was she insisted on a mammogram, which turned out to be normal. Still not comfortable with this, she asked to be referred to the Breast Health Clinic where a surgeon listened to her concerns, could feel the lump and decided that he would remove the lump for her, even though the mammogram was 'normal'. When the pathology came back it showed that the lump was cancerous and she had been right to advocate for herself. I admire that even though this must not have been easy for her, given her more timid nature, she stood up for herself and for what she 'knew' to be true.
The third survivor was a no nonsense, no frills woman who 'always knew that I would get breast cancer' - her mother and her sister had also had breast cancer. She was not surprised to receive her diagnosis and she was the only one of the three who had also gone through chemo. Chemo back 24 years ago was not as 'easy' as it is nowadays but she was adamant that she did not want to be called a survivor as she did not see herself as a 'victim', she said she had been through far worse thiings in her life. We respectfully discussed whether one needed to have been a victim in order to be called a survivor but she was not to be swayed. Maybe she would have preferred being called a 'veteran'. As the evening progressed I could see that there was a very tender heart under the tough exterior she presented and that she was indeed a survivor, whether that was how she defined herself or not.
The first lady to my left had supported a good friend through cancer, chemo, radiation, recurrence, and palliative care prior to her death from breast cancer. She was at the session to provide a support person's persepective on the breast cancer experience and to validate for herself the role she had played and whether there was more she could have done for her friend.
The second lady had come with her, she was a friend of a 30 year old woman who is currently very early in treatment. She was able to provide information regarding some of the issues that younger women had to consider, such as delaying chemo in order to harvest eggs for future fertility.
Through the three hours we were provided with a set of pictures and asked to choose one to portray our cancer experience and then to write out and tell the group why we chose that picture. The next exercise was to map out the cancer journey and add the emotions that were experienced at each stage. Everyone's journey was slightly different, as were the emotions they felt at each stage i.e. discovering the lump as opposed to having a routine mammogram and being told there was a problem; feeling fear at hearing the diagnosis as opposed to my 'I'm not a survivor' lady stating it was almost a relief to receive the diagnosis, now she could 'get on with it'. There was a lot of discussion and our tables' map didn't get past the diagnosis phase before it was time to move on.
Another exercise was to review pamphlets that had been created to provide information regarding the progress made in diagnosis, treatment and support of women with breast cancer and what advances the future might hold. Each table had a different prototype of a pamphlet and were asked to critique it - what did we like, what didn't we like, what would we add or change.
We ended with discussing what we would have liked or needed early in our journey in regards to information and support, followed by what we felt was/would have been helpful at the end of treatment, and then what would be good for long term survivors (described as 5 years out or more). Interesting discussions.
There were tape recorders at each table to catch our conversations and we also provided our written notes on the pictures we chose, our maps of our journeys, the critiqued pamphlets and our input on what would have/would be helpful at the different stages.
I was almost reluctant to leave at the end. In the short period of time we were together, we had shared so much with each other, far more than we probably have shared with many of those closest to us and through our sharing we had bonded.
As I walked down the hall, my three 'veteran survivors' walked close behind me and wished me well as I continued on with my treatment. The 'I'm not a survivor' lady placed her hand on my shoulder and told me that I would be fine; she said that she can tell the strong ones and that I was 'tough'. Timid 'self-advocate' lady grabbed my hand, shook it gently without looking me in the eye and then left. 'Support lady' came and told me that she wanted to hug me. Following the hug she asked for my email address. We talked a bit longer and then she hugged me again. I know I will hear from her. You can take the role and even the avenue away from the person, but they will find a way to do that which they are meant to do.
Take care everyone.
- Leah sent me a video of my almost 11 month old grandson Forrest walking, no stopping him now! I told the ladies on my forum that I better get going on the treadmill or he will soon be lapping me ;)
- Kenny's hockey team has made it into the Minor Hockey Week finals on Saturday afternoon for their division, this means they are guaranteed at least a silver medal; the team had a rough start at the beginning of the year but here they are :)
- I received a gift card in the mail for The Running Room from the pedometer study I am taking part in, right on time for purchasing some new walking shoes for the treadmill
On Monday evening I had the pleasure of participating in an information gathering session for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I signed up for it but I am so happy that I went.
The session went for three hours. When I first arrived I was directed to find a table and then help myself to sandwiches and something to drink. The first table I sat at turned out to be the table the regional coordinator was sitting at, a lovely lady but I had to move when they started as they needed at least four people at a table and she was going to wander around the room and participate in as many of the table discussions as she could.
This then placed me at a table with five other ladies. I was one of the few in the room who were currently still going through treatment. Three of the ladies at my table were 18 to 25 year survivors, and two were friends of ladies who were either going through breast cancer currently or had breast cancer in the past. The other tables contained similar and different mixes.
We were assigned a series of tasks during the evening and through these tasks we got to know the people at our tables better and hear of their unique experiences. Very touching, there was laughter and there were tears.
I would like to describe the ladies I met at our table but I will not use their names. The first survivor I will call 'support lady'. She used to work as a volunteer with an agency in the city that provided support to women going through breast cancer - from diagnosis through treatment. She was a very warm and caring person and I can see that she would have been very good in this role. The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act came into play while she was volunteering with the agency and they were no longer able to reach out to individuals to see if they would like support, instead the women needed to contact them. The numbers of women that would actually reach out and ask for support initially without being offered it (if they even knew it was available) were low and eventually her role and the agency ceased to exist. I could tell that she had been very good at her support role and grieved losing this opportunity to share her experience and help others.
The second survivor was a meek looking woman who surprised me a little when she told us her story. She seemed a little hesitant to speak up and sometimes even a little bewildered as to why she was there. She had found her lump and gone to her family doctor who told her he felt it was nothing. Even as meek as she was she insisted on a mammogram, which turned out to be normal. Still not comfortable with this, she asked to be referred to the Breast Health Clinic where a surgeon listened to her concerns, could feel the lump and decided that he would remove the lump for her, even though the mammogram was 'normal'. When the pathology came back it showed that the lump was cancerous and she had been right to advocate for herself. I admire that even though this must not have been easy for her, given her more timid nature, she stood up for herself and for what she 'knew' to be true.
The third survivor was a no nonsense, no frills woman who 'always knew that I would get breast cancer' - her mother and her sister had also had breast cancer. She was not surprised to receive her diagnosis and she was the only one of the three who had also gone through chemo. Chemo back 24 years ago was not as 'easy' as it is nowadays but she was adamant that she did not want to be called a survivor as she did not see herself as a 'victim', she said she had been through far worse thiings in her life. We respectfully discussed whether one needed to have been a victim in order to be called a survivor but she was not to be swayed. Maybe she would have preferred being called a 'veteran'. As the evening progressed I could see that there was a very tender heart under the tough exterior she presented and that she was indeed a survivor, whether that was how she defined herself or not.
The first lady to my left had supported a good friend through cancer, chemo, radiation, recurrence, and palliative care prior to her death from breast cancer. She was at the session to provide a support person's persepective on the breast cancer experience and to validate for herself the role she had played and whether there was more she could have done for her friend.
The second lady had come with her, she was a friend of a 30 year old woman who is currently very early in treatment. She was able to provide information regarding some of the issues that younger women had to consider, such as delaying chemo in order to harvest eggs for future fertility.
Through the three hours we were provided with a set of pictures and asked to choose one to portray our cancer experience and then to write out and tell the group why we chose that picture. The next exercise was to map out the cancer journey and add the emotions that were experienced at each stage. Everyone's journey was slightly different, as were the emotions they felt at each stage i.e. discovering the lump as opposed to having a routine mammogram and being told there was a problem; feeling fear at hearing the diagnosis as opposed to my 'I'm not a survivor' lady stating it was almost a relief to receive the diagnosis, now she could 'get on with it'. There was a lot of discussion and our tables' map didn't get past the diagnosis phase before it was time to move on.
Another exercise was to review pamphlets that had been created to provide information regarding the progress made in diagnosis, treatment and support of women with breast cancer and what advances the future might hold. Each table had a different prototype of a pamphlet and were asked to critique it - what did we like, what didn't we like, what would we add or change.
We ended with discussing what we would have liked or needed early in our journey in regards to information and support, followed by what we felt was/would have been helpful at the end of treatment, and then what would be good for long term survivors (described as 5 years out or more). Interesting discussions.
There were tape recorders at each table to catch our conversations and we also provided our written notes on the pictures we chose, our maps of our journeys, the critiqued pamphlets and our input on what would have/would be helpful at the different stages.
I was almost reluctant to leave at the end. In the short period of time we were together, we had shared so much with each other, far more than we probably have shared with many of those closest to us and through our sharing we had bonded.
As I walked down the hall, my three 'veteran survivors' walked close behind me and wished me well as I continued on with my treatment. The 'I'm not a survivor' lady placed her hand on my shoulder and told me that I would be fine; she said that she can tell the strong ones and that I was 'tough'. Timid 'self-advocate' lady grabbed my hand, shook it gently without looking me in the eye and then left. 'Support lady' came and told me that she wanted to hug me. Following the hug she asked for my email address. We talked a bit longer and then she hugged me again. I know I will hear from her. You can take the role and even the avenue away from the person, but they will find a way to do that which they are meant to do.
Take care everyone.
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