- Leah sent me a video of my almost 11 month old grandson Forrest walking, no stopping him now! I told the ladies on my forum that I better get going on the treadmill or he will soon be lapping me ;)
- Kenny's hockey team has made it into the Minor Hockey Week finals on Saturday afternoon for their division, this means they are guaranteed at least a silver medal; the team had a rough start at the beginning of the year but here they are :)
- I received a gift card in the mail for The Running Room from the pedometer study I am taking part in, right on time for purchasing some new walking shoes for the treadmill
On Monday evening I had the pleasure of participating in an information gathering session for the Canadian Breast Cancer Foundation. I wasn't quite sure what to expect when I signed up for it but I am so happy that I went.
The session went for three hours. When I first arrived I was directed to find a table and then help myself to sandwiches and something to drink. The first table I sat at turned out to be the table the regional coordinator was sitting at, a lovely lady but I had to move when they started as they needed at least four people at a table and she was going to wander around the room and participate in as many of the table discussions as she could.
This then placed me at a table with five other ladies. I was one of the few in the room who were currently still going through treatment. Three of the ladies at my table were 18 to 25 year survivors, and two were friends of ladies who were either going through breast cancer currently or had breast cancer in the past. The other tables contained similar and different mixes.
We were assigned a series of tasks during the evening and through these tasks we got to know the people at our tables better and hear of their unique experiences. Very touching, there was laughter and there were tears.
I would like to describe the ladies I met at our table but I will not use their names. The first survivor I will call 'support lady'. She used to work as a volunteer with an agency in the city that provided support to women going through breast cancer - from diagnosis through treatment. She was a very warm and caring person and I can see that she would have been very good in this role. The Freedom of Information and Protection of Privacy Act came into play while she was volunteering with the agency and they were no longer able to reach out to individuals to see if they would like support, instead the women needed to contact them. The numbers of women that would actually reach out and ask for support initially without being offered it (if they even knew it was available) were low and eventually her role and the agency ceased to exist. I could tell that she had been very good at her support role and grieved losing this opportunity to share her experience and help others.
The second survivor was a meek looking woman who surprised me a little when she told us her story. She seemed a little hesitant to speak up and sometimes even a little bewildered as to why she was there. She had found her lump and gone to her family doctor who told her he felt it was nothing. Even as meek as she was she insisted on a mammogram, which turned out to be normal. Still not comfortable with this, she asked to be referred to the Breast Health Clinic where a surgeon listened to her concerns, could feel the lump and decided that he would remove the lump for her, even though the mammogram was 'normal'. When the pathology came back it showed that the lump was cancerous and she had been right to advocate for herself. I admire that even though this must not have been easy for her, given her more timid nature, she stood up for herself and for what she 'knew' to be true.
The third survivor was a no nonsense, no frills woman who 'always knew that I would get breast cancer' - her mother and her sister had also had breast cancer. She was not surprised to receive her diagnosis and she was the only one of the three who had also gone through chemo. Chemo back 24 years ago was not as 'easy' as it is nowadays but she was adamant that she did not want to be called a survivor as she did not see herself as a 'victim', she said she had been through far worse thiings in her life. We respectfully discussed whether one needed to have been a victim in order to be called a survivor but she was not to be swayed. Maybe she would have preferred being called a 'veteran'. As the evening progressed I could see that there was a very tender heart under the tough exterior she presented and that she was indeed a survivor, whether that was how she defined herself or not.
The first lady to my left had supported a good friend through cancer, chemo, radiation, recurrence, and palliative care prior to her death from breast cancer. She was at the session to provide a support person's persepective on the breast cancer experience and to validate for herself the role she had played and whether there was more she could have done for her friend.
The second lady had come with her, she was a friend of a 30 year old woman who is currently very early in treatment. She was able to provide information regarding some of the issues that younger women had to consider, such as delaying chemo in order to harvest eggs for future fertility.
Through the three hours we were provided with a set of pictures and asked to choose one to portray our cancer experience and then to write out and tell the group why we chose that picture. The next exercise was to map out the cancer journey and add the emotions that were experienced at each stage. Everyone's journey was slightly different, as were the emotions they felt at each stage i.e. discovering the lump as opposed to having a routine mammogram and being told there was a problem; feeling fear at hearing the diagnosis as opposed to my 'I'm not a survivor' lady stating it was almost a relief to receive the diagnosis, now she could 'get on with it'. There was a lot of discussion and our tables' map didn't get past the diagnosis phase before it was time to move on.
Another exercise was to review pamphlets that had been created to provide information regarding the progress made in diagnosis, treatment and support of women with breast cancer and what advances the future might hold. Each table had a different prototype of a pamphlet and were asked to critique it - what did we like, what didn't we like, what would we add or change.
We ended with discussing what we would have liked or needed early in our journey in regards to information and support, followed by what we felt was/would have been helpful at the end of treatment, and then what would be good for long term survivors (described as 5 years out or more). Interesting discussions.
There were tape recorders at each table to catch our conversations and we also provided our written notes on the pictures we chose, our maps of our journeys, the critiqued pamphlets and our input on what would have/would be helpful at the different stages.
I was almost reluctant to leave at the end. In the short period of time we were together, we had shared so much with each other, far more than we probably have shared with many of those closest to us and through our sharing we had bonded.
As I walked down the hall, my three 'veteran survivors' walked close behind me and wished me well as I continued on with my treatment. The 'I'm not a survivor' lady placed her hand on my shoulder and told me that I would be fine; she said that she can tell the strong ones and that I was 'tough'. Timid 'self-advocate' lady grabbed my hand, shook it gently without looking me in the eye and then left. 'Support lady' came and told me that she wanted to hug me. Following the hug she asked for my email address. We talked a bit longer and then she hugged me again. I know I will hear from her. You can take the role and even the avenue away from the person, but they will find a way to do that which they are meant to do.
Take care everyone.
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