Sunday, October 13, 2013

Making Arrangements

During the morning of September 30th I mostly slept. Rod called about mid-morning and was quite broken up that he had not been there for me, I tried to reassure him that all was OK. Gayle had texted me and told me that when I was ready her and Wade would bring over some Tim Horton's coffee - no pressure, just a wonderful kind offer. I had an appointment at the funeral home for Tuesday afternoon and they had sent an email regarding what I would need to bring for the appointment. One of the items on the list was a set of clothing for my Mom, which would mean making a trip out to the lodge.

Caleb contacted me and said he was out and did I need anything. I had been sent a recent photo by my cousin Gerry and I also had a photo of Caleb, Jordan and Kenny in a group hug with Mom that I liked. I asked if he could print copies of these photos for me, I would need them for the appointment next day also.

Wade and Gayle and Caleb and Leisha arrived about the same time. As well as coffee, Gayle brought food to feed a small army. We visited for a bit. I was pretty tired and was happy to have Wade and Gayle drive me out to the lodge, rather than drive there myself. I really enjoyed the conversation we had  there and back.
At the lodge I informed the staff of Mom's passing and, while Wade waited downstairs in the lobby, Gayle and I went to Mom's room to collect what was needed followed by a trip to her mailbox to collect recent mail.

Once home, we visited for a while longer before they left - I was a very poor hostess but they didn't seem to mind that - maybe they were used to this from my chemo days. Just after they left, Jane stopped by with a food package. What a blessing to be able to quickly and easily have a meal for Kenny and myself and anyone else who showed up over the next several days.

That evening I used an app on my iPad called 'Paperless' to make a folder for the funeral arrangements and lists of things that I needed to do and then prioritized the items. I started to try to piece together different events and timing in my Mom's life and realized that I should have paid more attention to details and dates than I had. It felt good to have the lists made and a bit of a plan and I made it an early night that night.

Tuesday I had arranged to pick up my brother, Ken and take him to the funeral home with me in the afternoon. The days are a bit of a blur now but Ev and Deb came over that morning. When they walked in I had not eaten breakfast yet and had just taken a second load of towels out of the dryer, both loads were sitting unfolded on my family room sectional. They set about folding towels while I made myself breakfast and gave them a bit of Gayle's baking. Ev had brought a lazy cabbage roll casserole to add to my food supply. We went for a lovely walk along the ridge of Fish Creek park - very enjoyable, both the view, the walk and the company. After that I needed to have some bloodwork done prior to picking Ken up.

I prayed about the appointment at the funeral home. I wanted to have a nice funeral for Mom but I also wanted to stay within a reasonable budget. The funeral director that we met with was wonderful. As we discussed things, there were several items like doing Mom's hair that were supposed to be charged for that she crossed out and said they would do anyways. Ken chose the flowers and colours for the casket spray as well as the design of the stationery that would be used for the memorial book and thank you cards. Once all the decisions were made the funeral director took the clothes we had brought as well as the pictures and when she came back she had an itemized list of expenses and another bag. I looked at the final price and was very thankful that it would work within the budget I had made. Once I gave my approval, she reached for the bag and handed it to me saying 'and you don't have to worry about supper tonight, here is a frozen lasagna for you'. It was quite a large lasagna, almost as large as Ken's eyes when he saw it. I was happy to hand it over to him, I had already been blessed by all the food received from friends, it was nice that Ken could have this package.

I won't go into each of the days prior to the funeral individually, I did meet with the cemetery on Wednesday a.m. and made a trip to Costco in preparation for Justin and Leah's arrival with our grandchildren. Rod was delayed a day in returning as they had been held up at the Mexican/California border (I told him I hoped this wasn't literal). This meant they missed their flight and weren't able to get out until the next morning, he arrived home Wednesday afternoon. I also had the last Herceptin infusion on Thursday at noon. As I turned each day over to the Lord, He met my needs and everything was falling into place very well for the funeral on Friday.

Take care, everyone.

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