Today's post will not be long and I think you will forgive me if I copy/paste most of it.
While I write, 'Robby' has just started vacuuming, music to my ears. :)
My good friend Dawn sent this to me from her devotions a couple of days before my surgery. It really touched my heart and I read it over again just before I went into surgery -
Rest with Me a while. You have journeyed up a steep, rugged path in recent days. The way ahead is shrouded in uncertainty. Look neither behind you nor before you. Instead, focus your attention on Me, your constant Companion. Trust that I will equip you fully for whatever awaits you on your journey.
I designed time to be a protection for you. You couldn't bear to see all your life at once. Though I am unlimited by time, it is in the present moment that I meet you. Refresh yourself in My company, breathing deep draughts of My Presence. The highest level of trust is to enjoy Me moment by moment. I am with you , watching you wherever you go.
Psalm 143:8; Genesis 28:15
~ Jesus Calling
Take care, everyone. It's a beautiful, sunny day here and I am set up nicely in a recliner to best enjoy it.
Laura
Saturday, June 30, 2012
Post-op day
I left you in the operating room.
My next memory is of being woken up, but not wanting to wake up - like when you are having a really good sleep. I was a little irritated that I was being woken up and then a little disoriented about where I was and why I was needing to be woken up.
The first face I was able to focus on was of Dr. Y, my anaesthetist and being the polite person I was trained to be, I caught her eye and thanked her for everything. Who does that coming out of an anaestthetic? I guess I do ;)
My next memory is of severe pain in the right upper arm. I tried repositioning the arm to see if I could alleviate it but that wasn't helping at all. I asked the recovery room nurse for some ice but she must not have thought I was with it enough to remove it if I needed to - she said 'I can't have you getting frost-bite'. I wanted the arm raised on a pillow but I'm not even sure I asked for this aloud, she was giving me Morphine which would cause me to drift in and out of consciousness.
After a period of time (it was difficult for me to tell how much time I was actually there) she once again asked me to rate my pain on a level of 0 to 10 with 10 being the worst pain I could imagine. I said 7 and she then told me that she was going to send me back to Day Surgery because she couldn't give me any more Morphine, I think she said she'd already given me 14 mg of it and there was nothing more she could do for me there.
I don't remember the trip back to Day Surgery but I do remember the nurse in Day Surgery bringing me an ice pack and a pillow for the arm and this helped immensely with the discomfort. The rest of the afternoon was quite a blur and next I awoke I was feeling nauseated from the Morphine and was given Maxeran. This didn't seem to help much but I drifted in and out of sleep and was basically not too aware of much that was going on. I don't remember my son Caleb coming to check on me or him saying goodbye as he left, but apparently he did.
I do remember Rod and our good friend Wade stopping by, Wade with a big smile on his face. Rod quickly got my signal that I wanted to be left alone for awhile longer so they left.
I was finally given Gravol which for some strange reason works for me and it was a little like a switch going on, I quickly woke up and the nausea dissipated. I was able to walk to the washroom and back, very shakily and not without a great deal of right arm discomfort but I did it and I was proud of myself.
I was given Percocet for pain and did OK with it until they brought me a supper tray. There was a cream of celery soup on the tray as well as a full plate of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and carrots. I tried the soup.
My son, Justin arrived from Cranbrook and came in with my husband to see me. He was just in time to grab a tray for me to throw up in, what a greeting he got!
I sent him home with Rod to get settled and told them to come back later and bring our 17 year old, Kenny with them, then I let myself rest, this time receiving Ondansetron 8 mg IV to help with the nausea.
When I next awoke, I was surrounded by my family, Jordan and Celia, Kenny, Justin and Rod. I was told that Jordan and Celia had been there for an hour but didn't want to disturb me. They had brought me the cuddliest, cutest teddy bear ever and a rose bowl. We visited for a while, Kenny cracking us up with one liner jokes, he was in rare form.
Once they left, I was given Percocet and Gravol as a bedtime cocktail. I was sure when I woke up at 1 a.m. that I must have slept the night through already, being in the Day Surgery area with patients from Emergency coming and going to the OR, lights all on was disorienting in regards to time. Each time I was up was getting easier and I was starting to feel like I was going to make it through this ;)
In the morning, I had a very kind nurse who's mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer last fall. She told me she was going to change my dressing. When she removed the dressing she had me take a look. My initial reaction was very clinical. My thoughts were - minimal bruising, nicely approximated edges, very neat, no redness or swelling to be seen, two drain sites, secured with sutures and a little extra skin sitting in the axilla to allow for 'future expansion'.
Physio came to see me to discuss the arm exercises I would be required to do and we went through each of them. This person also had a mother who had been diagnosed with breast cancer, in this instance 15 years ago. I found these stories very encouraging as they shared them.
As if it had been carefully orchestrated rather than just happening to be the case, Rod and Justin showed up just then and I was discharged.
Once home, I was settled into my recliner with ice and Percocet, a washroom nearby and this became my station for the duration of the day, being waited on hand and foot by my family. Life is once again good.
My next memory is of being woken up, but not wanting to wake up - like when you are having a really good sleep. I was a little irritated that I was being woken up and then a little disoriented about where I was and why I was needing to be woken up.
The first face I was able to focus on was of Dr. Y, my anaesthetist and being the polite person I was trained to be, I caught her eye and thanked her for everything. Who does that coming out of an anaestthetic? I guess I do ;)
My next memory is of severe pain in the right upper arm. I tried repositioning the arm to see if I could alleviate it but that wasn't helping at all. I asked the recovery room nurse for some ice but she must not have thought I was with it enough to remove it if I needed to - she said 'I can't have you getting frost-bite'. I wanted the arm raised on a pillow but I'm not even sure I asked for this aloud, she was giving me Morphine which would cause me to drift in and out of consciousness.
After a period of time (it was difficult for me to tell how much time I was actually there) she once again asked me to rate my pain on a level of 0 to 10 with 10 being the worst pain I could imagine. I said 7 and she then told me that she was going to send me back to Day Surgery because she couldn't give me any more Morphine, I think she said she'd already given me 14 mg of it and there was nothing more she could do for me there.
I don't remember the trip back to Day Surgery but I do remember the nurse in Day Surgery bringing me an ice pack and a pillow for the arm and this helped immensely with the discomfort. The rest of the afternoon was quite a blur and next I awoke I was feeling nauseated from the Morphine and was given Maxeran. This didn't seem to help much but I drifted in and out of sleep and was basically not too aware of much that was going on. I don't remember my son Caleb coming to check on me or him saying goodbye as he left, but apparently he did.
I do remember Rod and our good friend Wade stopping by, Wade with a big smile on his face. Rod quickly got my signal that I wanted to be left alone for awhile longer so they left.
I was finally given Gravol which for some strange reason works for me and it was a little like a switch going on, I quickly woke up and the nausea dissipated. I was able to walk to the washroom and back, very shakily and not without a great deal of right arm discomfort but I did it and I was proud of myself.
I was given Percocet for pain and did OK with it until they brought me a supper tray. There was a cream of celery soup on the tray as well as a full plate of turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy and carrots. I tried the soup.
My son, Justin arrived from Cranbrook and came in with my husband to see me. He was just in time to grab a tray for me to throw up in, what a greeting he got!
I sent him home with Rod to get settled and told them to come back later and bring our 17 year old, Kenny with them, then I let myself rest, this time receiving Ondansetron 8 mg IV to help with the nausea.
When I next awoke, I was surrounded by my family, Jordan and Celia, Kenny, Justin and Rod. I was told that Jordan and Celia had been there for an hour but didn't want to disturb me. They had brought me the cuddliest, cutest teddy bear ever and a rose bowl. We visited for a while, Kenny cracking us up with one liner jokes, he was in rare form.
Once they left, I was given Percocet and Gravol as a bedtime cocktail. I was sure when I woke up at 1 a.m. that I must have slept the night through already, being in the Day Surgery area with patients from Emergency coming and going to the OR, lights all on was disorienting in regards to time. Each time I was up was getting easier and I was starting to feel like I was going to make it through this ;)
In the morning, I had a very kind nurse who's mother had been diagnosed with breast cancer last fall. She told me she was going to change my dressing. When she removed the dressing she had me take a look. My initial reaction was very clinical. My thoughts were - minimal bruising, nicely approximated edges, very neat, no redness or swelling to be seen, two drain sites, secured with sutures and a little extra skin sitting in the axilla to allow for 'future expansion'.
Physio came to see me to discuss the arm exercises I would be required to do and we went through each of them. This person also had a mother who had been diagnosed with breast cancer, in this instance 15 years ago. I found these stories very encouraging as they shared them.
As if it had been carefully orchestrated rather than just happening to be the case, Rod and Justin showed up just then and I was discharged.
Once home, I was settled into my recliner with ice and Percocet, a washroom nearby and this became my station for the duration of the day, being waited on hand and foot by my family. Life is once again good.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Mom's Status
I feel like I'm violating my Mom's privacy by writing in her blog, but this is Caleb, her third son writing today. Mom went into surgery this morning at 8:40 and as far as we know everything went well. We've popped in a few times to see if she's awake, but she's sleeping so peacefully we don't want to wake her. I apologize I'm not as long winded as my mom in writing, but thank you to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.
Day of Surgery - Pre-op
I am going to try to recount what it was like for me the day of surgery in the pre-operative period in this post.
Due to the fact that I had slept through the alarm the day before, I actually set two alarms for this morning - one on my iPad and one on my regular clock radio. It was set to go off at 4:30 a.m. and I made sure that it went off with one of my favorite songs to help inspire and give me courage - the song is called - Faith to be Strong.
I took a quick drink of water, cognizant of the fact that I was allowed to drink up to 4 hours preop and the surgery time given me was 08:20 and then I got ready. I had already packed a bag to take to the hospital with me the day before but I went through it again to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. My son Caleb had surprised us and shown up the night before and stayed the night so he accompanied my husband and I to the hospital.
I was very impressed with the Admitting department, when I'd called the day before they made sure that I would bring in photo ID as well as my health care card. They went through my demographic information very carefully, this is called 'verify/validate' - something near and dear to my heart in my work role so it was gratifying to see that our message was being taken to heart. I choose to believe that this is being done for all patients, not just being done for me because of who I am and what I do. I honestly don't think this person knew.
We were sent on to the Day Surgery area which has 24 hour beds in it and I was assigned to one of them. I was asked to change - once again I have to raise a complaint about the gowns provided. It seems that everyone is now provided with a bariatric gown and I was swimming in mine and almost stepping on it. The blue paper slippers were also 'ginormous' and seemed to be in danger of falling off at any point in time.
On the surface, I felt pretty calm and ready, but my stomach was doing it's routine that it always does when I am anxious and that wasn't that much fun. I was only allowed to have one visitor back with me at any one time so my husband, Rod and my son, Caleb would take turns.
I had a good nurse. She took me to the scale first and I realized when she weighed me that sometime in the last month I lost about 10 pounds, this was a bit of a surprise to me as I hadn't really been paying attention and thought I was eating as I normally do.
Next was the IV; she was quick and relatively painless. We went through the pre-operative checklist, reviewed the consent and I was pretty well set to go by about 0715. I had my iPad with me so I looked at Facebook briefly and then played some more music using my earphones.
I felt a little cheated of time when the porter showed up about 0800 to take me to the OR. Prior to her taking me on the stretcher another nurse started an IV antibiotic, checked my armband with the porter and signed off the pre-operative checklist one last time.
As the porter took me through the hallway, I felt like I had my own tour guide. She told me that I would be in OR 1 and that I was my surgeon's first case of the day so he would be well rested and alert for the surgery. I was able to say goodbye to my husband and wave at my son, then we stopped by the reception desk in the OR for another check before proceeding to the area of OR 1. I was left outside of the door of OR 1 in a busy hallway, with a change room across from it and lots of coming and going activity through it. I was starting to get a little nervous and I had very little to occupy my mind but watching all this activity, so I closed my eyes and prayed while I waited.
A very attractive, kind looking lady in OR gear walked by me, entered OR 1 and then a few minutes later she came out with a young looking guy who she introduced as a second year med student. She introduced herself as the anaesthetist, Dr. Y. I was so pleased to hear this, I had heard good things about her from my 'sister' Gayle. She went through her questions, then took my hand and told me that not only was my surgeon an amazing person but that he was also an absolutely amazing surgeon and that I was in good hands. Very reassuring.
My surgeon then stopped by and also took my hand. He looked pretty solemn this surgery as opposed to my last surgery and asked me if I had any questions. I just wanted this over and done with so I said no.
I asked if I could use the washroom one more time (count on my stomach). This made it so I ended up walking into the OR rather than being wheeled in on the stretcher. The room felt as cold as a refrigerator and I was shaking. They asked me to hop up on the table, which I did and then it was like too many things going on at once to even take it all in.
The monitor leads were placed, something heavy and flexible was placed over my pelvic region, intermittent pressure stockings were placed on my legs and my IV burned for a second. The anaesthetist told me she was giving me something through it to relax me. I was in total agreement with that!
They had my left arm out on an extension and they placed my right arm out on another extension to the table, then they raised the head of the bed slightly. With that there was another burning sensation through the intravenous, the anaesthetist stated she was starting a muscle relaxant and then asked me if there was a nice place that I could think of and to go there in my mind.
That is the last thing I remembered until I woke up in the recovery room.
Due to the fact that I had slept through the alarm the day before, I actually set two alarms for this morning - one on my iPad and one on my regular clock radio. It was set to go off at 4:30 a.m. and I made sure that it went off with one of my favorite songs to help inspire and give me courage - the song is called - Faith to be Strong.
I took a quick drink of water, cognizant of the fact that I was allowed to drink up to 4 hours preop and the surgery time given me was 08:20 and then I got ready. I had already packed a bag to take to the hospital with me the day before but I went through it again to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. My son Caleb had surprised us and shown up the night before and stayed the night so he accompanied my husband and I to the hospital.
I was very impressed with the Admitting department, when I'd called the day before they made sure that I would bring in photo ID as well as my health care card. They went through my demographic information very carefully, this is called 'verify/validate' - something near and dear to my heart in my work role so it was gratifying to see that our message was being taken to heart. I choose to believe that this is being done for all patients, not just being done for me because of who I am and what I do. I honestly don't think this person knew.
We were sent on to the Day Surgery area which has 24 hour beds in it and I was assigned to one of them. I was asked to change - once again I have to raise a complaint about the gowns provided. It seems that everyone is now provided with a bariatric gown and I was swimming in mine and almost stepping on it. The blue paper slippers were also 'ginormous' and seemed to be in danger of falling off at any point in time.
On the surface, I felt pretty calm and ready, but my stomach was doing it's routine that it always does when I am anxious and that wasn't that much fun. I was only allowed to have one visitor back with me at any one time so my husband, Rod and my son, Caleb would take turns.
I had a good nurse. She took me to the scale first and I realized when she weighed me that sometime in the last month I lost about 10 pounds, this was a bit of a surprise to me as I hadn't really been paying attention and thought I was eating as I normally do.
Next was the IV; she was quick and relatively painless. We went through the pre-operative checklist, reviewed the consent and I was pretty well set to go by about 0715. I had my iPad with me so I looked at Facebook briefly and then played some more music using my earphones.
I felt a little cheated of time when the porter showed up about 0800 to take me to the OR. Prior to her taking me on the stretcher another nurse started an IV antibiotic, checked my armband with the porter and signed off the pre-operative checklist one last time.
As the porter took me through the hallway, I felt like I had my own tour guide. She told me that I would be in OR 1 and that I was my surgeon's first case of the day so he would be well rested and alert for the surgery. I was able to say goodbye to my husband and wave at my son, then we stopped by the reception desk in the OR for another check before proceeding to the area of OR 1. I was left outside of the door of OR 1 in a busy hallway, with a change room across from it and lots of coming and going activity through it. I was starting to get a little nervous and I had very little to occupy my mind but watching all this activity, so I closed my eyes and prayed while I waited.
A very attractive, kind looking lady in OR gear walked by me, entered OR 1 and then a few minutes later she came out with a young looking guy who she introduced as a second year med student. She introduced herself as the anaesthetist, Dr. Y. I was so pleased to hear this, I had heard good things about her from my 'sister' Gayle. She went through her questions, then took my hand and told me that not only was my surgeon an amazing person but that he was also an absolutely amazing surgeon and that I was in good hands. Very reassuring.
My surgeon then stopped by and also took my hand. He looked pretty solemn this surgery as opposed to my last surgery and asked me if I had any questions. I just wanted this over and done with so I said no.
I asked if I could use the washroom one more time (count on my stomach). This made it so I ended up walking into the OR rather than being wheeled in on the stretcher. The room felt as cold as a refrigerator and I was shaking. They asked me to hop up on the table, which I did and then it was like too many things going on at once to even take it all in.
The monitor leads were placed, something heavy and flexible was placed over my pelvic region, intermittent pressure stockings were placed on my legs and my IV burned for a second. The anaesthetist told me she was giving me something through it to relax me. I was in total agreement with that!
They had my left arm out on an extension and they placed my right arm out on another extension to the table, then they raised the head of the bed slightly. With that there was another burning sensation through the intravenous, the anaesthetist stated she was starting a muscle relaxant and then asked me if there was a nice place that I could think of and to go there in my mind.
That is the last thing I remembered until I woke up in the recovery room.
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Day before surgery
I think it was funny that I posted yesterday about getting up at 0530 every morning as per usual and then this a.m. we somehow both managed to sleep right through the alarm and wake up after 0600. I still have had a very peaceful and productive morning and I wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers, they are felt and are being effective. I have a real calmness and I am just going about checking off all the things still on my list of things to do.
My shopping 'sister' told me yesterday about a wonderful local service for people with cancer, it is called Compassionate Beauty. It has a combination of services for people with cancer including spa type treatments; specialty clothing items, headwear including scarves, wigs and sleep caps. What a wonderful service to provide, I will definitely be checking them out postop.
This evening I have booked a hair appointment with my hairdresser. I know that I will be restricted somewhat with my right shoulder/arm movement postop so I want my hair to be a little easier to work with, I gave her the heads up to think about what might work for me. This hairdresser has seen me right before surgeries in 2008 and 2009 so the tradition continues.
I would ask everyone who is praying and thinking of me to also include my family members, I think it will be harder on them, I get to sleep through the surgery but they will be waiting anxiously for news.
I have asked my husband to post tomorrow on my behalf, once the surgery is complete.
Take care, everyone.
My shopping 'sister' told me yesterday about a wonderful local service for people with cancer, it is called Compassionate Beauty. It has a combination of services for people with cancer including spa type treatments; specialty clothing items, headwear including scarves, wigs and sleep caps. What a wonderful service to provide, I will definitely be checking them out postop.
This evening I have booked a hair appointment with my hairdresser. I know that I will be restricted somewhat with my right shoulder/arm movement postop so I want my hair to be a little easier to work with, I gave her the heads up to think about what might work for me. This hairdresser has seen me right before surgeries in 2008 and 2009 so the tradition continues.
I would ask everyone who is praying and thinking of me to also include my family members, I think it will be harder on them, I get to sleep through the surgery but they will be waiting anxiously for news.
I have asked my husband to post tomorrow on my behalf, once the surgery is complete.
Take care, everyone.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Getting prepared
Before I get started, one housekeeping item. Some people have asked how to comment on a post. There is a 'No' (or however many comments there are i.e. 1) comments in red text at the bottom of each post, if you click on it a comments box will open for you.
On to my post for today.
I am trying to stick to my normal routine as much as possible which means that I have continued to get up at 0530 on weekday mornings, have breakfasted and be showered, dressed and ready to take on the day by 0715 or so. Is it a challenge already? Oh yes! It is very tempting to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed for a while longer.
Since getting up this morning, I have had a fairly productive day but I have realized that there is probably way more to do than there is time to do it in, which is a little frustrating for me. I guess I will prioritize what is essential, I will let some things go and I will delegate others.
That is something I really struggle with. I am not someone who finds it easy to ask for help or to allow myself to be vulnerable and accept offers of help. I am used to being the helper as opposed to the helpee (is that a word?). I am a little challenged when it comes to things around the house, they are not my forte so when people ask me what they can do and offer to help clean, I cringe a little. My pride gets in the way and I think that I could never let anyone come in and look below the surface in order to clean but maybe I will have to do this.
To facilitate that I have a few confessions to make -
1) I often forget I washed a load of clothes and they stay in the washing machine too long and then I end up having to wash them all over again.
2) The clothes that do make it to the dryer are often left in there too long and then are all wrinkled when I go to remove them.
3) My floors do not get washed as often as they should but if I take my glasses off when I am around the house they look OK to me for a little bit longer.
4) The baseboards that are present (some have not been added yet following the constant state of renovation the house is in) will probably be dusty.
5) It is not always dusky outside when looking from inside my house, my windows just need to be washed.
6) I am a little afraid to enter my 17 year olds room so I often just close the door and hope for the best.
7) Taking off my glasses works for procrastinating on many other cleaning tasks in addition to washing floors.
8) When I went to clean the oven today, I tried three times to push the right buttons in the right order before I had to consult the manual, that might be a clue as to how long it's been since the last cleaning.
9) While I love beautiful yards/plants/flowers - I have so far been much better at growing weeds than anything else
.
Now, if I do need people to help out and I accept their offers or they agree to my request they will not be able to say that they haven't been forewarned.
Still on a housecleaning note, one of the best purchases I have made recently was due to great advice once again from my co-facilitator friend for the Autism workshops. She has a wonderful article on Tumblr on efficient housecleaning and she talks about her Roomba in it. Motivated by her article, I decided to indulge myself a couple of months ago and bought an iRobot programmable vacuum cleaner from Costco when there was a special. I love it! I feel like I have a friend cleaning along with me when I am at home and 'he' (Robbie is what we call him) is vacuuming. On other days that I have been working I come home and he is back at his base, but the work he has done is apparent. I have a feeling 'Robby' will prove to be well worth the expense during my treatment period.
Now to the topic foremost on my mind. Today was my preop assessment visit and shopping in addition to working off the tasks on my list. Preop assessment was pretty easy, the nurse seemed a little surprised I was having surgery so soon but she walked me through what I needed to know and do and asked the questions that she needed to. My blood tests and scans have all been done, no further tests were requested today.
Tomorrow, I phone the hospital between 1:30 and 3:30 p.m. to get my arrival time and OR time for Friday morning. It is still feeling quite surreal; I am going through all the motions, doing all that I am required to do but my mind hasn't really absorbed it all yet. I'm sure Friday will be a big dose of reality for me.
Shopping was productive. I bought several tops (and one was purchased for me) that will be very useful after the surgery and should help to cheer me up if/when I get down. Most are probably not what I would have tried on had I shopped alone and the bonus was that I had the opportunity for a lovely visit with my 'sister'. Now, back to work.
On to my post for today.
I am trying to stick to my normal routine as much as possible which means that I have continued to get up at 0530 on weekday mornings, have breakfasted and be showered, dressed and ready to take on the day by 0715 or so. Is it a challenge already? Oh yes! It is very tempting to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed for a while longer.
Since getting up this morning, I have had a fairly productive day but I have realized that there is probably way more to do than there is time to do it in, which is a little frustrating for me. I guess I will prioritize what is essential, I will let some things go and I will delegate others.
That is something I really struggle with. I am not someone who finds it easy to ask for help or to allow myself to be vulnerable and accept offers of help. I am used to being the helper as opposed to the helpee (is that a word?). I am a little challenged when it comes to things around the house, they are not my forte so when people ask me what they can do and offer to help clean, I cringe a little. My pride gets in the way and I think that I could never let anyone come in and look below the surface in order to clean but maybe I will have to do this.
To facilitate that I have a few confessions to make -
1) I often forget I washed a load of clothes and they stay in the washing machine too long and then I end up having to wash them all over again.
2) The clothes that do make it to the dryer are often left in there too long and then are all wrinkled when I go to remove them.
3) My floors do not get washed as often as they should but if I take my glasses off when I am around the house they look OK to me for a little bit longer.
4) The baseboards that are present (some have not been added yet following the constant state of renovation the house is in) will probably be dusty.
5) It is not always dusky outside when looking from inside my house, my windows just need to be washed.
6) I am a little afraid to enter my 17 year olds room so I often just close the door and hope for the best.
7) Taking off my glasses works for procrastinating on many other cleaning tasks in addition to washing floors.
8) When I went to clean the oven today, I tried three times to push the right buttons in the right order before I had to consult the manual, that might be a clue as to how long it's been since the last cleaning.
9) While I love beautiful yards/plants/flowers - I have so far been much better at growing weeds than anything else
.
Now, if I do need people to help out and I accept their offers or they agree to my request they will not be able to say that they haven't been forewarned.
Still on a housecleaning note, one of the best purchases I have made recently was due to great advice once again from my co-facilitator friend for the Autism workshops. She has a wonderful article on Tumblr on efficient housecleaning and she talks about her Roomba in it. Motivated by her article, I decided to indulge myself a couple of months ago and bought an iRobot programmable vacuum cleaner from Costco when there was a special. I love it! I feel like I have a friend cleaning along with me when I am at home and 'he' (Robbie is what we call him) is vacuuming. On other days that I have been working I come home and he is back at his base, but the work he has done is apparent. I have a feeling 'Robby' will prove to be well worth the expense during my treatment period.
Now to the topic foremost on my mind. Today was my preop assessment visit and shopping in addition to working off the tasks on my list. Preop assessment was pretty easy, the nurse seemed a little surprised I was having surgery so soon but she walked me through what I needed to know and do and asked the questions that she needed to. My blood tests and scans have all been done, no further tests were requested today.
Tomorrow, I phone the hospital between 1:30 and 3:30 p.m. to get my arrival time and OR time for Friday morning. It is still feeling quite surreal; I am going through all the motions, doing all that I am required to do but my mind hasn't really absorbed it all yet. I'm sure Friday will be a big dose of reality for me.
Shopping was productive. I bought several tops (and one was purchased for me) that will be very useful after the surgery and should help to cheer me up if/when I get down. Most are probably not what I would have tried on had I shopped alone and the bonus was that I had the opportunity for a lovely visit with my 'sister'. Now, back to work.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
CT Scan
The highlights of yesterday were attending a demo by one of our vendors in the afternoon and getting to see some of my team members, manager and the vendor.
I also received many loving messages and offers of support; I am being well 'thought of' and prayed for and it is appreciated.
Today was the CT scan, I thought it interesting that it has been raining a lot lately and in order to accommodate the CT it was arranged in a nearby town where there was a flood watch on for today.
I had to hydrate well before I arrived at 0815; when I got there I was then asked to drink another 750 ml of Telebrix, a substance that looks like water and tastes mildly like iodine. At first I wondered if I was going to be able to get one cup down every 15 minutes but the old plugging the nose trick worked. I felt quite proud of myself as I returned the bottle to the Diagnostic Imaging department. They told me it would probably make me feel cold and they were not kidding. I was shaking and gladly took the warm blanket they provided.
My husband accompanied me so we waited companionably in the hallway in two recliner chairs, me listening to music using earphones and him surfing the net and Facebooking.
About 1020 a.m. the tech called me from the hallway and I was asked to change. Once again I was allowed to keep my 'special bracelet' on for the procedure.
I have decided that I will use my influence in my position (very little) and make a list of all the things that need to be changed in the various clinical areas that I visit - patient gowns is one of the first things on the list, there's got to be a better design and the color I got today was a washed out yellow that did nothing to enhance my already pale face!
I was nervous about the injection of the radio-opague dye, a potential allergic reaction always in the back of my mind. They had also told me that when they injected it I would feel a hot feeling from the inside out, like a hot flash but that it would pass quickly. I wasn't quite sure how bad it would be.
Once positioned and IV started, they injected the dye and started the CT. My initial reaction when the warm sensation from the dye went through me was a little like Crocodile Dundee when he said; 'That's not a knife". That warm sensation was nothing compared to a real intense hot flash. Piece of cake!
Once I got home, I ate a huge lunch to make up for not being allowed breakfast followed by a short nap in the afternoon. Then I got to work - I told one of my co-workers that my 'new boss' is a real slave driver.
Seriously, I have a list of things I need to do prior to surgery and I am checking things off as I go along; I am so thankful that I have been allowed this time off work prior to surgery to accomplish some of these things; it really helps to keep me occupied but not in a stressful 'beat the clock' kind of way.
Tomorrow is my pre-op assessment visit and then in the afternoon I am meeting a friend I have adopted as a 'sister' who is taking pity on me in regards to shopping; she tells me she has already scouted out some potential clothing items that will work for me. What a blessing - I am definitely an on-line shopping type of girl and there is no time for that at the moment.
Another silver lining in all of this - I will get to read! A friend from work sent an Amazon gift card to me today and there were several book suggestions given that looked wonderful. I ordered them up and they are now waiting for me on my Kindle. I will save them for the day of surgery and then also as something to look forward to postop.
I also received many loving messages and offers of support; I am being well 'thought of' and prayed for and it is appreciated.
Today was the CT scan, I thought it interesting that it has been raining a lot lately and in order to accommodate the CT it was arranged in a nearby town where there was a flood watch on for today.
I had to hydrate well before I arrived at 0815; when I got there I was then asked to drink another 750 ml of Telebrix, a substance that looks like water and tastes mildly like iodine. At first I wondered if I was going to be able to get one cup down every 15 minutes but the old plugging the nose trick worked. I felt quite proud of myself as I returned the bottle to the Diagnostic Imaging department. They told me it would probably make me feel cold and they were not kidding. I was shaking and gladly took the warm blanket they provided.
My husband accompanied me so we waited companionably in the hallway in two recliner chairs, me listening to music using earphones and him surfing the net and Facebooking.
About 1020 a.m. the tech called me from the hallway and I was asked to change. Once again I was allowed to keep my 'special bracelet' on for the procedure.
I have decided that I will use my influence in my position (very little) and make a list of all the things that need to be changed in the various clinical areas that I visit - patient gowns is one of the first things on the list, there's got to be a better design and the color I got today was a washed out yellow that did nothing to enhance my already pale face!
I was nervous about the injection of the radio-opague dye, a potential allergic reaction always in the back of my mind. They had also told me that when they injected it I would feel a hot feeling from the inside out, like a hot flash but that it would pass quickly. I wasn't quite sure how bad it would be.
Once positioned and IV started, they injected the dye and started the CT. My initial reaction when the warm sensation from the dye went through me was a little like Crocodile Dundee when he said; 'That's not a knife". That warm sensation was nothing compared to a real intense hot flash. Piece of cake!
Once I got home, I ate a huge lunch to make up for not being allowed breakfast followed by a short nap in the afternoon. Then I got to work - I told one of my co-workers that my 'new boss' is a real slave driver.
Seriously, I have a list of things I need to do prior to surgery and I am checking things off as I go along; I am so thankful that I have been allowed this time off work prior to surgery to accomplish some of these things; it really helps to keep me occupied but not in a stressful 'beat the clock' kind of way.
Tomorrow is my pre-op assessment visit and then in the afternoon I am meeting a friend I have adopted as a 'sister' who is taking pity on me in regards to shopping; she tells me she has already scouted out some potential clothing items that will work for me. What a blessing - I am definitely an on-line shopping type of girl and there is no time for that at the moment.
Another silver lining in all of this - I will get to read! A friend from work sent an Amazon gift card to me today and there were several book suggestions given that looked wonderful. I ordered them up and they are now waiting for me on my Kindle. I will save them for the day of surgery and then also as something to look forward to postop.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
War and Peace
I'm not quite sure what an appropriate title for this post should be so I'll leave it blank for now and once I start writing maybe I will be inspired.
It has been an exhausting weekend for me in a way but also a very lovely weekend.
I co-facilitate a workshop for Young Adults with High Functioning Autism or Asperger's Syndrome at our local Autism association and I absolutely love doing this, I have gained so much, probably far more than I have contributed. This Saturday was the last workshop session in our series for the spring and the topic was dating and relationships. My husband and I were scheduled as the presenters for this session and I wanted to fulfill my commitment in spite of all that is going on otherwise in my life.
One of the ladies I co-facilitate the workshops with gave me wonderful, practical advice when I shared with her a couple of weeks ago about my concerns re: biopsies. She suggested that rather than ignore the fear that I should look at it and 'mind-map' the 'what if's' and make lists of things to investigate and do. This was so helpful, it put some of the waiting time into productive activity. I had a list ready of all the people I needed to tell if the diagnosis was cancer and the order in which I wanted to tell them. I decided to designate different people from various areas of my life to help communicate information for me and I am very happy with how this has worked. I created this blog so that I had something I or they could direct people to for updates. I made a list of things I needed to investigate such as short and long term disability, personal directives, what I need to bring to the hospital and what I should consider for when I return home from surgery. I joined an on-line support forum and have discovered wonderful ladies there who were waiting for test results like me or already diagnosed and wanting to provide comfort and support to others.
Later yesterday afternoon we went out for coffee. During our coffee date we shared my diagnosis with our special friends who went through a similar experience themselves a year or so ago. We laughed, cried, hugged and came away refreshed and reassured.
Today, we told our local church family of the diagnosis. We were thoroughly supported and upheld in prayer. My daughter-in-law also shared with me on Facebook today that my very soon to be six year old grand-daughter has decided to pray for me every time she uses something that I gave her; I am told I am very well prayed for by her alone - maybe I have been too indulgent as a grandmother but it's working in my favor now!
My son, Caleb took us out for lunch after church. I noticed that with his charming, good looking presence at our table we were well attended to, with several pretty young ladies appearing at various times during the meal, making it hard to determine for sure who our real server was.
Tomorrow morning I need to finish up some work and look into the short term disability. I will also contact the Nurse Navigator from the Breast Health Clinic. Following that I need to attend to some very neglected gardening and housework items and do some grocery shopping - everyday type things that still need to get done.
As I look this over, I think I will title it "War and Peace" in honor of my manager who feels that I tend to write novels, even while trying to be brief and to the point. :)
It has been an exhausting weekend for me in a way but also a very lovely weekend.
I co-facilitate a workshop for Young Adults with High Functioning Autism or Asperger's Syndrome at our local Autism association and I absolutely love doing this, I have gained so much, probably far more than I have contributed. This Saturday was the last workshop session in our series for the spring and the topic was dating and relationships. My husband and I were scheduled as the presenters for this session and I wanted to fulfill my commitment in spite of all that is going on otherwise in my life.
One of the ladies I co-facilitate the workshops with gave me wonderful, practical advice when I shared with her a couple of weeks ago about my concerns re: biopsies. She suggested that rather than ignore the fear that I should look at it and 'mind-map' the 'what if's' and make lists of things to investigate and do. This was so helpful, it put some of the waiting time into productive activity. I had a list ready of all the people I needed to tell if the diagnosis was cancer and the order in which I wanted to tell them. I decided to designate different people from various areas of my life to help communicate information for me and I am very happy with how this has worked. I created this blog so that I had something I or they could direct people to for updates. I made a list of things I needed to investigate such as short and long term disability, personal directives, what I need to bring to the hospital and what I should consider for when I return home from surgery. I joined an on-line support forum and have discovered wonderful ladies there who were waiting for test results like me or already diagnosed and wanting to provide comfort and support to others.
Later yesterday afternoon we went out for coffee. During our coffee date we shared my diagnosis with our special friends who went through a similar experience themselves a year or so ago. We laughed, cried, hugged and came away refreshed and reassured.
Today, we told our local church family of the diagnosis. We were thoroughly supported and upheld in prayer. My daughter-in-law also shared with me on Facebook today that my very soon to be six year old grand-daughter has decided to pray for me every time she uses something that I gave her; I am told I am very well prayed for by her alone - maybe I have been too indulgent as a grandmother but it's working in my favor now!
My son, Caleb took us out for lunch after church. I noticed that with his charming, good looking presence at our table we were well attended to, with several pretty young ladies appearing at various times during the meal, making it hard to determine for sure who our real server was.
Tomorrow morning I need to finish up some work and look into the short term disability. I will also contact the Nurse Navigator from the Breast Health Clinic. Following that I need to attend to some very neglected gardening and housework items and do some grocery shopping - everyday type things that still need to get done.
As I look this over, I think I will title it "War and Peace" in honor of my manager who feels that I tend to write novels, even while trying to be brief and to the point. :)
Friday, June 22, 2012
Bone scan day
So far, everything continues to seem somewhat surreal for me, like I might wake up and find out it was all a dream.
I went for my bone scan today, they gave me a small IV injection at 10:30 a.m. and then sent me away, asking me to return at 1 p.m. for the scan. The machine looked a little intimidating and claustrophobia inducing so I was happy to go away for a bit.
I had a lovely lunch with my good friend and co-worker, Robin; she told me the meal was on her as 'it came with the bone scan'. Wonder if they could get better compliance if they offered that deal to everyone?
Another co-worker Lisa, who lost her own mother to breast cancer, sent along a lovely bracelet that she wears that has a metal charm of the pink ribbon breast cancer logo and a heart as part of the clasp. I put it on right away and they allowed me to keep it on during the bone scan.Very helpful.
The scan took about half an hour, I kept my eyes closed as the machine travelled down my body at very close proximity, this really helped with the claustrophobic feeling. The tech came out of her area a couple of times and did something and a couple of times the machine made a chirping noise. I have no idea what that meant, hopefully nothing.
Once done, the tech told me my physician would have the results by Tuesday, unless he needed them today. I told her that no, I thought Tuesday would be fine, the results were just needed pre-op.
Afterwards, I went shopping, looking for loose, comfortable outfits with front openings for post-op recovery period as suggested by the nurse at the Breast Health Clinic. Not much out there or I just wasn't into shopping; maybe some of both?
Next up in regards to testing is the CT scan of the chest, abdomen and pelvis on Tuesday, June 26th; then surgery is confirmed for Friday, June 29th.
I went for my bone scan today, they gave me a small IV injection at 10:30 a.m. and then sent me away, asking me to return at 1 p.m. for the scan. The machine looked a little intimidating and claustrophobia inducing so I was happy to go away for a bit.
I had a lovely lunch with my good friend and co-worker, Robin; she told me the meal was on her as 'it came with the bone scan'. Wonder if they could get better compliance if they offered that deal to everyone?
Another co-worker Lisa, who lost her own mother to breast cancer, sent along a lovely bracelet that she wears that has a metal charm of the pink ribbon breast cancer logo and a heart as part of the clasp. I put it on right away and they allowed me to keep it on during the bone scan.Very helpful.
The scan took about half an hour, I kept my eyes closed as the machine travelled down my body at very close proximity, this really helped with the claustrophobic feeling. The tech came out of her area a couple of times and did something and a couple of times the machine made a chirping noise. I have no idea what that meant, hopefully nothing.
Once done, the tech told me my physician would have the results by Tuesday, unless he needed them today. I told her that no, I thought Tuesday would be fine, the results were just needed pre-op.
Afterwards, I went shopping, looking for loose, comfortable outfits with front openings for post-op recovery period as suggested by the nurse at the Breast Health Clinic. Not much out there or I just wasn't into shopping; maybe some of both?
Next up in regards to testing is the CT scan of the chest, abdomen and pelvis on Tuesday, June 26th; then surgery is confirmed for Friday, June 29th.
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Telling family and friends
This is the part I was dreading, having to tell people about my diagnosis.
We told two of our boys, the 2nd and 4th, on Wednesday evening at our house. Following that we phoned the oldest and his wife and gave them the news. Our third plays in a slow pitch league and had a game that evening so we asked if he could come over tonight as we had something we wanted to discuss.
I had a meeting for work in the afternoon; my mother lives close to where the meeting was so I dropped by there to talk to her in person, she is quite deaf in both ears and I felt that if she could see me she would feel better as I appear to be quite healthy.
I also told some of my co-workers and my manager during this time period and find myself suddenly off work while treatment is in progress - how life can change from one day to the next!
Reactions varied; there were tears and sometimes laughter but my worst fear was that people would be angry and I haven't encountered that yet; at least to my face.
We told two of our boys, the 2nd and 4th, on Wednesday evening at our house. Following that we phoned the oldest and his wife and gave them the news. Our third plays in a slow pitch league and had a game that evening so we asked if he could come over tonight as we had something we wanted to discuss.
I had a meeting for work in the afternoon; my mother lives close to where the meeting was so I dropped by there to talk to her in person, she is quite deaf in both ears and I felt that if she could see me she would feel better as I appear to be quite healthy.
I also told some of my co-workers and my manager during this time period and find myself suddenly off work while treatment is in progress - how life can change from one day to the next!
Reactions varied; there were tears and sometimes laughter but my worst fear was that people would be angry and I haven't encountered that yet; at least to my face.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Diagnosis
Yesterday was the hardest day so far for me. My stomach always gets upset when I am worried or stressed and by late yesterday afternoon it was really showing the strain.
This morning I went to work because I didn't think that I could handle being at home working alone. My appointment was at one so I left work at 11: 45 and went to pick my husband up at his automotive repair shop. We got to the Breast Health Clinic by 12:30, then sat in the car while he ate his lunch, prayed together and then went in to see what we were facing.
There was a brief wait in the waiting room, then we were paged to the back and the same nurse, Linda, took us into a room. She looked pretty solemn, so that was my first clue that my suspicions were right. She talked briefly, then a few minutes later the surgeon walked in, sat down in front of me on a little stool used to help patients up onto the exam table and started reviewing the results, starting with the mammogram and ending with the biopsy results. One area biopsied showed invasive ductal carcinoma, the other showed ductal carcinoma in situ and the fluid taken from the lymph gland was positive for metastatic adenocarcinoma.
I asked him what was next and he said surgery. He said his secretary already had a spot booked for me, she was just waiting to contact me until he had talked to me first. I would also need bloodwork, a bone scan, a CT scan and a pre-op assessment appointment. Even with all that he said I would probably be having surgery by the end of the month. Seeing as how this is June 20th, I guess that means next week?
I'm booked for a total right mastectomy with lymph node dissection. He said that chemo usually followed surgery about 6 weeks later, but that they would have a better idea of treatment once pathology from the surgery was complete. There may also be radiation.
Once all of that is complete, I can look at reconstruction.
Wow! Waiting for so long and then everything is happening so fast. The nurse navigator came in to meet me and speak to me, then I filled out a preop anaesthetic form and consent; went through some pamphlets and information from the nurse, found out my bone scan is booked for June 22nd and the CT scan will be in a nearby town early next week in order to be able to be accommodated quicker. I was told of different education sessions the clinic offered and also of a psychologist affiliated with the clinic that I could contact. Information overload!
Now to start telling my family members and friends, everything seems very surreal right now, like it's not really happening to me.
This morning I went to work because I didn't think that I could handle being at home working alone. My appointment was at one so I left work at 11: 45 and went to pick my husband up at his automotive repair shop. We got to the Breast Health Clinic by 12:30, then sat in the car while he ate his lunch, prayed together and then went in to see what we were facing.
There was a brief wait in the waiting room, then we were paged to the back and the same nurse, Linda, took us into a room. She looked pretty solemn, so that was my first clue that my suspicions were right. She talked briefly, then a few minutes later the surgeon walked in, sat down in front of me on a little stool used to help patients up onto the exam table and started reviewing the results, starting with the mammogram and ending with the biopsy results. One area biopsied showed invasive ductal carcinoma, the other showed ductal carcinoma in situ and the fluid taken from the lymph gland was positive for metastatic adenocarcinoma.
I asked him what was next and he said surgery. He said his secretary already had a spot booked for me, she was just waiting to contact me until he had talked to me first. I would also need bloodwork, a bone scan, a CT scan and a pre-op assessment appointment. Even with all that he said I would probably be having surgery by the end of the month. Seeing as how this is June 20th, I guess that means next week?
I'm booked for a total right mastectomy with lymph node dissection. He said that chemo usually followed surgery about 6 weeks later, but that they would have a better idea of treatment once pathology from the surgery was complete. There may also be radiation.
Once all of that is complete, I can look at reconstruction.
Wow! Waiting for so long and then everything is happening so fast. The nurse navigator came in to meet me and speak to me, then I filled out a preop anaesthetic form and consent; went through some pamphlets and information from the nurse, found out my bone scan is booked for June 22nd and the CT scan will be in a nearby town early next week in order to be able to be accommodated quicker. I was told of different education sessions the clinic offered and also of a psychologist affiliated with the clinic that I could contact. Information overload!
Now to start telling my family members and friends, everything seems very surreal right now, like it's not really happening to me.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Getting closer
As I get closer to my appointment day it is getting harder and harder. Sometimes I tell myself that everything will be absolutely fine and that I must have mis-read everything that was done and said to me and then the next minute I am thinking of the what if's as in what if I have to have chemotherapy - will they recommend it before or after surgery; what about radiation and so on. I also find it difficult when people are asking me to make commitments for two or three weeks from now when I feel as if my life may be totally different in two weeks time.
I wonder if it would be easier to just tell everyone at work all at once in our monthly team meeting on Friday or if that is fair to them and maybe I should just keep it to myself and try to keep acting as if everything is normal. I dread telling my family members.
Maybe I won't have to. Wednesday afternoon cannot come soon enough.
I wonder if it would be easier to just tell everyone at work all at once in our monthly team meeting on Friday or if that is fair to them and maybe I should just keep it to myself and try to keep acting as if everything is normal. I dread telling my family members.
Maybe I won't have to. Wednesday afternoon cannot come soon enough.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Waiting for results
I waited all week to hear from the clinic regarding my
results and each time my phone rang I would think ‘this is it’ only to be
disappointed. By Thursday, June 14th, a friend at work who I had shared my
experience with suggested that no news was good news but asked me to promise
that I would phone the clinic on Friday a.m. and ask them if they had my results so I didn’t need to go
through another weekend worrying
needlessly.
I called Friday a.m. and left another message on the nurse
line, this time asking if they had received my results. At 10 a.m. a nurse
called me and identified herself as Anna. She said that they had my
mammogram/ultrasound/biopsy results but they still did not have the full
pathology results. She said that Linda, the nurse who had been with me during
my initial visit had tried to move up my appointment with the surgeon when the
biopsy results had come in but that my appointment was on the first day that
the surgeon was back in the clinic. She also said that it was not the clinic
policy to give out results over the phone but that they would review everything
with me at the appointment. This did not sound good – they don’t try to move
appointments up to give good results, in my experience.
Meanwhile, my right arm and breast would hurt and I would
wonder whether it was just as a result of the biopsies or if it was something
more ominous causing the pain.
One thing that I did find curious during the week and a bit
until I got my results was that I was finding beauty and joy in things that I
might normally take for granted. I was laughing more spontaneously than is normal
for me, enjoying the moment during this reprieve I had until I ‘knew’ for sure.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Mammogram/ultrasound/biopsies
In my Business Analyst role I travel to the various
community health centers and hospitals within our Health Region on a regular
basis so it is fairly standard for my husband to check with me in the morning
to see where I will be going that day. I still hadn’t told him about my
appointments so when he asked this time I told him I would be in a certain area
in the a.m. and then back to the office building our team is situated in for
the afternoon.
I showed up for the tests a little early and was taken to
the back to change. The tech took me into the mammogram room and did a brief history
prior to performing the mammogram. Once she had done the requisite two pictures
per breast she told me I could go back and have a seat in the cubicle that I
had changed in and she would get the radiologist to look at the pictures before
she took me over to the ultrasound area. I was in a pretty good mood and on my
way to the cubicle there were about four ladies standing in the corridor, all
talking together. I asked them if they had known each other prior or if they
had bonded that quickly while waiting. They laughed and said that they were
from out of town and they all booked their mammograms together and made a day
of it in the city. They continued to chat in the corridor while I waited in the
cubicle.
Then the tech came back and said, “Laura, the radiologist
needs more views”. I went back to the room with her. There was a new, smaller
paddle on the x-ray machine which she explained allowed for greater
magnification, she took more views on each breast and then had me go back and
wait in the cubicle again. The ‘corridor ladies’ were a little more subdued
when I returned. After a few minutes the tech came back once again and said she
needed yet more views, this time when I went in she did the right breast only
and then had me return to the cubicle. This time, as I walked past the
‘corridor ladies’ they gave me a wide berth and there was total silence. A few
minutes later the tech returned, told me to gather my clothes and took me for
the ultrasound.
I walked into the ultrasound room and the first thing this
tech said to me was, “Oh good, I see you already have a breast surgeon”. I thought that was odd but lay down and let
her do the ultrasound. When she was done the right breast she said she needed
to go check with the radiologist and see if they also wanted the left breast
done. When she returned she was pushing a cart with some sterile trays on it.
She said she was going to do the left breast also and that the radiologist
wanted some core biopsies. I had a core biopsy on the left breast back in 2009
prior to the lumpectomies so I was familiar with the procedure, signed the
consent and waited for the radiologist to appear. When she did, she seemed a
little angry, asked me if I had any questions and then did her own ultrasound
of the breast. While she did this, she told the tech to get another container and needle
twice. She then marked the breast, inserted freezing in two areas and took the
biopsies, including one of a ‘suspicious lymph node’ in the axilla. She also
did a fine needle aspiration of a cyst near the axilla and the liquid in the
syringe was not the familiar yellow I was used to seeing when having cysts
aspirated, it was blood tinged and they seemed to kind of hide the syringe from
my sight.
Following this the tech had me sit on the side of the table
for a few moments and I was surprised to find myself light-headed. She took me
to a little recovery room with two recliners in it and some bottled water.
There was a little phone table and a box of Kleenex as well as two beautiful
quilts with the ‘pink ribbon ‘ theme on them. She wrapped me in one of the
quilts, told me she’d check on me in 10 minutes but that I was welcome to stay
as long as I wanted. The quilts provided so much more than physical comfort,
they were made by other people who had lived similar experiences, either
themselves or with their family member. It made such a wonderful difference, I
didn’t feel alone with that quilt wrapped around me.
When she returned I felt that I was ready to go so the tech
said I was to be sure to call my doctor’s office and tell them that biopsies
had been taken and that they were to watch for the results. I told her I
already had an appointment for June 20th with the breast surgeon to
review results but she was adamant that I needed to call the clinic and give
them the heads up in regards to the biopsies. I did this, leaving a message on
the answering machine for the nurse’s line at the clinic.
When I got to the car, I was shaking and cold. I had my
lunch bag in the car as I had planned on returning to work following the tests,
however it was now much later than I had anticipated and I needed to go home
and ice the biopsy sites. I ate a little of the lunch, called my husband to
confess where I had been and what had
happened. I was still cold and shaky as I drove home.
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
First appointment
I was pretty relaxed when I went for my appointment at the
Breast Health Clinic and kind of made a joke to myself that I was going above
and beyond in my business analyst role to get the ‘patient experience’. I noted
that this clinic had just gone up on a new electronic scheduling system and I
was impressed when they handed me a little pager, telling me that when they
were ready for me I would be paged and I was then to proceed to the back and
hand the nurse the pager. Impressive!
I hadn’t told my husband about my appointment as I felt that
there was no need to concern him with it, I was used to having benign lumps and
cysts.
I thought that the nurse and doctor appeared to agree with
me that it probably was nothing to be concerned about; however I did notice
that the doctor said he thought the lump I felt was glandular and that
something had caused the gland to flare up. He said he would order a mammogram
and ultrasound and then see me back in the clinic to review the results.
I was given a requisition for the mammogram/ultrasound and
told my appointment at the Women’s Imaging clinic would be on June 8th
at 9 a.m. I was a little surprised that
they were able to get me in for an appointment that soon, then went out to the
front desk and arranged for my follow-up appointment, first available turned out
to be 1 p.m. on June 20th.
Monday, June 4, 2012
Beginnings
I’ll start by introducing myself. I’m Laura; I am a nurse with
27 years of direct patient care who seems to have found her way into the IT
department of the Health Region I work for, starting out six years ago leading
a training team for an application and ending up in a Business Analyst role for
almost two years now.
I have a strong family history on my father’s side of colon
cancer, my father himself died of colon cancer at the age of 53. On my mother’s
side I have two cousins that I’m aware of who have had breast cancer, one died
in her early forties and the other had sentinel node biopsy surgery. My mother
had cancer found in an ovary following a hysterectomy when she was in her 60’s.
I myself have had colon polyps removed in my early thirties
and have fibrocystic breast disease with two fibro adenomas being removed via
bilateral lumpectomies in October 2009. Last April I had my first upper GI
endoscopy and was told that I had a Barrett’s esophagus, several biopsies were
taken at that time and I was placed on Pantoloc and brought back 6 weeks later
for more biopsies. I was told I would need to be watched closely to ensure that
the Barrett’s did not progress to esophageal cancer. This doctor told me that genetically
I picked the wrong parents.
Which brings me to today; I recently discovered a new lump
on my right breast in the 9 o’clock area. I wasn’t too concerned and thought
that I would wait until my annual physical in July to have it checked out.
Today, though, I had a strong feeling that I should call the Breast Health
Clinic that my breast surgeon works out of and request an appointment to have
him check it out. I called and was given an appointment for June 6th
at 2 p.m.
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