The Nuances of Being Natalie

This has been an interesting day with some highs and some lows.

My reading in the 'Jesus Calling' book was a good one for today -

Grow strong in your weakness. Some of My children I've gifted with abundant strength and stamina. Others, like you, have received the humble gift of frailty. Your fragility is not a punishment, nor does it indicate lack of faith. On the contrary, weak ones like you must live by faith, depending on Me to get you through the day. I am developing your ability to trust Me, to lean on Me, rather than on your understanding. Your natural preference is to plan out your day, know what will happen when. My preference is for you to depend on Me continually, trusting Me to guide you and strengthen you as needed. This is how you grow strong in your weakness.

Natalie made her initial appearance at the hospital, first to visit Mom. Mom was not having as good a day as she had been having for the past week. She seemed to be having more memory problems again and was anxious that I would  abandon her, reassurance is forgotten and she once again becomes anxious. Seeing me as Natalie threw her, the first response was 'You look different ... well, I guess it's OK. Tell me again why you look different?'

Following the visit with Mom, I needed to go for bloodwork before my pre-chemo exam. I popped into a washroom on the way, only to find that Natalie had shifted on my head and was now more sideways than forwards. I adjusted her and proceeded on my way. I took a number and when it was called after twenty minutes, found out that I should have known to go to the Outpatient clinic area first to get my requisition. I went to the Outpatient clinic and stood in line to talk to a receptionist, she kindly gave me my requisition and I proceeded back to the lab and waited once again.

Once done there, I checked on Natalie and she seemed to have decided that off kilter was the way to be. This time I took her off in the safety of a stall and tightened the inside back velcro straps to see if that would help, then I returned to the Outpatient clinic area where I confessed up front that this was my first time in the area and to please tell me what I needed to do (I am learning this is a good strategy). I was given a questionnaire, weighed and vital signs done then a bit of a history with the nurse. I think Natalie may have  over-reacted a bit when the nurse suggested that the extreme nausea on the evening of chemo was the result of anxiousness, rather than the chemo drugs!

While the doctor was with me, a phone call came from the lab saying that my neutrophils were at a critical low level. I will now have to have more labwork early in the morning on the fourth to ensure that they have recovered to a level where they will give the chemo and I will be quite vulnerable to infection, a wonderful thing to know going into a long weekend.

Natalie behaved herself better after the adjustment but for some reason, I felt like I was walking around with a pair of those fake glasses with the nose and moustache attached;  like I was in costume and people were 'on' to Natalie.

The best part of the day was my two and a half hour lunch with Robin at Chili's. Robin was looking wonderful, she had her hair cut yesterday and it looks great, the purple top with the white vest over it that she was wearing enhanced her whole look. So wonderful to be able to share anything and everything with her, the time flew by as we caught up with each other's lives. She even managed to say, with a straight face, that she would never have suspected Natalie was a wig if she hadn't known better.

I am now comfortably back in my trusty recliner sans Natalie who is having a time out on her stand. I'm a little stiff and sore from my 'study' workout yesterday and tired from the day - does the tiredness and aching stem from knowledge of the neutrophil count or is it the other way around?

Oh, the nuances of being Natalie ;)