I mentioned that I had appointments for most of the day on Monday. When I meet for tea with Norman I usually try to bring something for us to eat while we are talking and then something that he can take home for supper with his boys with treat included. We had been in Cranbrook for the weekend so I was not as prepared as normal but had some soup I had made that I took out of the freezer, then I needed something to go with it. When I left the hospital I drove across the road to a shopping area. There was bakery there that looked like it was good so I popped in to see what they had to offer. Some wonderful berry and white chocolate scones caught my eye as well as a nice rustic looking country loaf of bread to go with the soup.
When I arrived at Norman's office he had the same idea. He had found a new bakery that had some pretty decadent offerings - he had bought a few different items including a salted chocolate brownie and chocolate croissants. The bakery uses Bernard Callebaut chocolate and I couldn't resist having a slice of the brownie. It was wonderful! The sea salt was the perfect counterpoint to the chocolatey sweetness. We discussed the young adult's workshop that we do for our Autism association, time passed quickly and I had to rush next door to get to my other appointment at the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation (BCSCF) on time, but not without a chocolate croissant handed to me for later. :)
Earlier in the day I had received an email from work stating that they had received a 'back to work' plan from my insurance company. My return to work date is April 1st but it will be part time, very gradually increasing to full time hours the week of May 26th. That was a bit of a surprise to me, I thought I would be back to full time sooner than that. The physician at BCSCF asked me about my return to work as we talked. I told her about the plan that is in place and she seemed a little shocked. I thought it was because it would be two months before I returned to full time hours. Turned out not the case. She says her patients don't go back to work until at least three months after they finish active treatment and I would be two weeks post radiation when I return. She also said her patients take three and a half months before they are back to full hours of work. I think the plan that is in place for me will work; she is skeptical.
I like what I read yesterday in the Jesus Calling devotional by Sarah Young, it helped set my mind at rest -
'I am leading you, step by step, through your life . Hold My hand in trusting dependence, letting Me guide you ...
....I will show you the next step forward, and the one after that, and the one after that. Relax and enjoy the journey in My Presence, trusting Me to open up the way before you as you go.'
Yesterday while waiting for my radiation treatment Patsy came down to chat with me. We are both looking forward to getting together with several of our 'old' (have to be careful with that word ;) Day Surgery co-workers on Friday for lunch. I also told her about Forrest's birthday party and a young mom of four in the waiting area said it sounded like her house on any given day. We included her in our conversation, Patsy was asking me when I was planning on returning to work so I began to tell her about Monday. The young mom told us she worked at home making jewelry. I was called in right about then and when I came out she handed me her card. I checked out her website last evening and have included a link to it in with my other links - she is quite talented, she also has a blog along with her site.
Today I had a quick visit with Mom prior to going to my appointments for radiation treatment and review with Patsy and the radiation oncologist. I guess the visit could have been a little longer, I found out after waiting in the waiting area for 45 minutes that my radiation time had been changed from 1230 to 230 but they hadn't updated my schedule or me with this information. They quickly treated me before the review appointment with many apologies.
Tomorrow will be another busy day with radiation early, then some errand running followed by the Return to Work course in the afternoon. In the evening Rod and I will be going to a play about C.S. Lewis with some friends. I am looking forward to that. Then Friday will be another 'lunch with the ladies'.
Take care everyone.
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Forrest Turns One
I said I would post about Forrest's birthday yesterday - I was wrong. After my radiation treatment, the radiation class, lunch, tea with Norman and then my Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation appointment I was out of the house from just after 8 a.m. until about 5 p.m. A bit too much of a day for me and I definitely became a vegetable for the remainder of the evening.
We ended up not going to Cranbrook until early Saturday a.m.; Friday was another day similar to yesterday and I needed Friday evening to get some wash done and a few other things around the house done. I was very pleased earlier in the week when I asked Kenny if he was going with us to Cranbrook and his response was 'Of course, it's Forrest's first birthday!'.
The trip out was great, we were treated to spectacular scenery and for the most part we had good road conditions. We decided that we would stop and see my Mom on the way out and then visit with Rod's Mom on the way home. I was delighted to see later on Saturday evening when I checked Facebook that my 'sister' Ev brought both of our Mom's together for the afternoon.
When we arrived at Justin and Leah's it was about an hour before the party; the kids were having quiet time or naps depending on their age. Leah was just finishing up decorating the cupcakes. We tried to be as quiet as we could but it wasn't long before Forrest was awake and wanting the party to begin. Justin and Leah hadn't told the kids we were coming so it was a surprise for them to see us. After both boys were awake, I took Forrest downstairs to go get Lilly from her room. She had been reading on her bed. Forrest thought that bouncing on it was a much more desirable activity. I had to be quick a couple of times to make sure he didn't bounce right over the edge.
The birthday party was a great success. It was very laid back and informal. With the number and age of children and parents attending it was the best way to go. Forrest really got into his presents as well as his cake -
Some other pictures from the party -
Other highlights of the weekend for me were -
- seeing Kelty who had been so sick just after Christmas running and playing with all the other kids, looking very healthy now
- visiting with Kelty's Mom and Dad and sister, Aunt and Uncle and cousins, Grandpa and Grandma and Great Grandma at church the next day as well as seeing Byron and Hazel from Vancouver, a pleasant surprise for us
- visiting with Leah's brother Orion, her mom Kass and her Dad and his wife Emiko at the party
- reading to and with Lilly at bedtime on Saturday evening
- having Keiran ask if I would sit beside him at breakfast and having Lilly want me beside her also; this dilemma was solved by sitting between them at the end of the table
- watching Kenny being an uncle throughout the weekend but especially during church; Justin had left that morning for a trip to Arizona with a group of students from the school Leah teaches at. It was nice to see Kenny stepping in and helping out with the kids.
- as we were sitting eating lunch on Sunday telling Keiran I really loved him and him answering 'I know that!' in a very matter of fact manner, then following up on that statement with 'I am really going to miss you'
The trip back was just as good, Rod and I talked most of the way while Kenny watched a movie or slept. Our favorite part of the trip is the drive along highway 22X from Lundbreck through to Black Diamond. We stopped in Black Diamond and surprised Rod's Mom with a visit, once again I was pleased with Kenny who we had left sleeping in the car. When he woke up he came in and gave Grandma a big hug before we left.
From there I felt like my energy level suddenly plummeted to empty from being 'not too bad'. By the time we got to the house Rod, being the good mechanic that he is, observed that I was at empty and suggested I go into the house and have a bath and he would bring all of our things in. He received no arguments from me.
Take care everyone.
We ended up not going to Cranbrook until early Saturday a.m.; Friday was another day similar to yesterday and I needed Friday evening to get some wash done and a few other things around the house done. I was very pleased earlier in the week when I asked Kenny if he was going with us to Cranbrook and his response was 'Of course, it's Forrest's first birthday!'.
The trip out was great, we were treated to spectacular scenery and for the most part we had good road conditions. We decided that we would stop and see my Mom on the way out and then visit with Rod's Mom on the way home. I was delighted to see later on Saturday evening when I checked Facebook that my 'sister' Ev brought both of our Mom's together for the afternoon.
When we arrived at Justin and Leah's it was about an hour before the party; the kids were having quiet time or naps depending on their age. Leah was just finishing up decorating the cupcakes. We tried to be as quiet as we could but it wasn't long before Forrest was awake and wanting the party to begin. Justin and Leah hadn't told the kids we were coming so it was a surprise for them to see us. After both boys were awake, I took Forrest downstairs to go get Lilly from her room. She had been reading on her bed. Forrest thought that bouncing on it was a much more desirable activity. I had to be quick a couple of times to make sure he didn't bounce right over the edge.The birthday party was a great success. It was very laid back and informal. With the number and age of children and parents attending it was the best way to go. Forrest really got into his presents as well as his cake -
Some other pictures from the party -
Other highlights of the weekend for me were -
- seeing Kelty who had been so sick just after Christmas running and playing with all the other kids, looking very healthy now
- visiting with Kelty's Mom and Dad and sister, Aunt and Uncle and cousins, Grandpa and Grandma and Great Grandma at church the next day as well as seeing Byron and Hazel from Vancouver, a pleasant surprise for us
- visiting with Leah's brother Orion, her mom Kass and her Dad and his wife Emiko at the party
- reading to and with Lilly at bedtime on Saturday evening
- having Keiran ask if I would sit beside him at breakfast and having Lilly want me beside her also; this dilemma was solved by sitting between them at the end of the table
- watching Kenny being an uncle throughout the weekend but especially during church; Justin had left that morning for a trip to Arizona with a group of students from the school Leah teaches at. It was nice to see Kenny stepping in and helping out with the kids.
- as we were sitting eating lunch on Sunday telling Keiran I really loved him and him answering 'I know that!' in a very matter of fact manner, then following up on that statement with 'I am really going to miss you'
The trip back was just as good, Rod and I talked most of the way while Kenny watched a movie or slept. Our favorite part of the trip is the drive along highway 22X from Lundbreck through to Black Diamond. We stopped in Black Diamond and surprised Rod's Mom with a visit, once again I was pleased with Kenny who we had left sleeping in the car. When he woke up he came in and gave Grandma a big hug before we left.
From there I felt like my energy level suddenly plummeted to empty from being 'not too bad'. By the time we got to the house Rod, being the good mechanic that he is, observed that I was at empty and suggested I go into the house and have a bath and he would bring all of our things in. He received no arguments from me.
Take care everyone.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Catching some rays
It's been a very busy few days. I will share a bit about my first two radiation treatments in this post and do another post tomorrow to catch up on my weekend in Cranbrook celebrating Forrest's first birthday.
Rod refers to my radiation treatments when speaking of them to others as Laura is 'catching some rays'. It makes me smile so I used it as the title of this post.
The first day I showed up a bit early and was directed to a waiting area. Soon a pleasant looking guy called my name, introduced himself and took me to an office where he had a binder with my name on it on a table. There were a couple of chairs and I was invited to take a seat. I had my iPad with me and open to Facebook so I closed out of it, leaving my opening page which features my granddaughter Lilly smiling proudly after losing her first tooth, complete with a note to the tooth fairy. He asked me how many children I had and I told him four sons. He seemed puzzled and asked what their ages were. I rattled off their ages from oldest to youngest and then he asked who the girl on my iPad was. I told him that she was my oldest grandchild. At that he looked at my birthdate again and exclaimed that I sure didn't look old enough to have grandchildren. (I am convinced that Patsy has been bribing her colleagues to do this to make me feel better as it happened again on day 2 of therapy with one of the radiation therapists.) ;)
He then proceeded to go through with explaining about my treatment and the dose and duration selected for me, complete with pictures - inside and out - which I found little unnerving. The CT scan images were actually quite interesting to look at knowing that it was my lungs etc that I was viewing and seeing the care that was taken when mapping the areas to be radiated. The outside pictures were taken for positioning purposes and my face was thankfully scribbled over with permanent black marker. I was happy to quickly move on to the other pictures. We took about fifteen minutes and I was given some Glaxal base cream, a printout of my treatment schedule, then taken to radiotherapy area 8 to change and wait once again. When I came out of the change room Patsy was there and greeted me with a big hug. A very nice way to start the treatment.
I was taken into an area I call the 'command centre' where the radiation therapists sit, there are closed circuit TV monitors and controls for the therapists. The treatment room opens off of this area and the machine is very prominent in the room. I was asked to put my purse and housecoat on the chair and then lie down on the table. The therapists know their stuff - there was measuring and marking and slight adjustments of my position (the therapists do the moving, my role is to relax and let them position me). I had some x-rays taken and then they placed what is called a bolus on my chest, thankfully after first warming it up on my leg. It is a piece of flexible material that simulates the thickness of skin. Normally the radiation is programmed to go under the skin but my mastectomy incision requires the radiation so the bolus 'tricks' the machine by appearing as the skin, then the rays hit the incision to destroy any potential cancer cells that may have seeded to this area from the surgery. Once they were satisfied with my positioning they left the room and a doorbell sound indicated they were leaving. The machine started over above my left chest and ended up on my right side by the end of the treatment. It didn't take long and I was done.
Next day was pretty close to the first day, they said they needed more pictures but it didn't seem to take as long as the first day. I did find it reassuring that they tried to start and the machine wouldn't let them, a therapist came back into the room, locked the bed, the machine was happy with that and treatment commenced.
I know it has only been two treatments but so far the skin is doing well and I am doing what I have been instructed to do to care for it. Tomorrow I go for the third treatment followed by a class on radiation treatment specific to breast cancer. Ideally I would have had the class last Monday but it was a statutory holiday. Wednesday's treatment is scheduled a little later than my usual mid
morning times as I will also go to 'review' with Patsy and my radiation oncologist afterwards.
Three weeks and I will be a radiation graduate!
Take.care everyone.
Rod refers to my radiation treatments when speaking of them to others as Laura is 'catching some rays'. It makes me smile so I used it as the title of this post.
The first day I showed up a bit early and was directed to a waiting area. Soon a pleasant looking guy called my name, introduced himself and took me to an office where he had a binder with my name on it on a table. There were a couple of chairs and I was invited to take a seat. I had my iPad with me and open to Facebook so I closed out of it, leaving my opening page which features my granddaughter Lilly smiling proudly after losing her first tooth, complete with a note to the tooth fairy. He asked me how many children I had and I told him four sons. He seemed puzzled and asked what their ages were. I rattled off their ages from oldest to youngest and then he asked who the girl on my iPad was. I told him that she was my oldest grandchild. At that he looked at my birthdate again and exclaimed that I sure didn't look old enough to have grandchildren. (I am convinced that Patsy has been bribing her colleagues to do this to make me feel better as it happened again on day 2 of therapy with one of the radiation therapists.) ;)
He then proceeded to go through with explaining about my treatment and the dose and duration selected for me, complete with pictures - inside and out - which I found little unnerving. The CT scan images were actually quite interesting to look at knowing that it was my lungs etc that I was viewing and seeing the care that was taken when mapping the areas to be radiated. The outside pictures were taken for positioning purposes and my face was thankfully scribbled over with permanent black marker. I was happy to quickly move on to the other pictures. We took about fifteen minutes and I was given some Glaxal base cream, a printout of my treatment schedule, then taken to radiotherapy area 8 to change and wait once again. When I came out of the change room Patsy was there and greeted me with a big hug. A very nice way to start the treatment.
I was taken into an area I call the 'command centre' where the radiation therapists sit, there are closed circuit TV monitors and controls for the therapists. The treatment room opens off of this area and the machine is very prominent in the room. I was asked to put my purse and housecoat on the chair and then lie down on the table. The therapists know their stuff - there was measuring and marking and slight adjustments of my position (the therapists do the moving, my role is to relax and let them position me). I had some x-rays taken and then they placed what is called a bolus on my chest, thankfully after first warming it up on my leg. It is a piece of flexible material that simulates the thickness of skin. Normally the radiation is programmed to go under the skin but my mastectomy incision requires the radiation so the bolus 'tricks' the machine by appearing as the skin, then the rays hit the incision to destroy any potential cancer cells that may have seeded to this area from the surgery. Once they were satisfied with my positioning they left the room and a doorbell sound indicated they were leaving. The machine started over above my left chest and ended up on my right side by the end of the treatment. It didn't take long and I was done.
Next day was pretty close to the first day, they said they needed more pictures but it didn't seem to take as long as the first day. I did find it reassuring that they tried to start and the machine wouldn't let them, a therapist came back into the room, locked the bed, the machine was happy with that and treatment commenced.
I know it has only been two treatments but so far the skin is doing well and I am doing what I have been instructed to do to care for it. Tomorrow I go for the third treatment followed by a class on radiation treatment specific to breast cancer. Ideally I would have had the class last Monday but it was a statutory holiday. Wednesday's treatment is scheduled a little later than my usual mid
morning times as I will also go to 'review' with Patsy and my radiation oncologist afterwards.
Three weeks and I will be a radiation graduate!
Take.care everyone.
Wednesday, February 20, 2013
Looking back and ahead
Today marks eight months since I received the diagnosis of breast cancer. I had no idea as I walked into the breast health clinic that day just how much receiving that diagnosis was going to change my life in the months to come. I'm glad I didn't, this is definitely an experience best taken one day at a time - 'strength sufficient for the day'.
I am very much aware of where I have been in my journey when I wake up every morning - from my cold, getting slightly less bald head to the weird numbness of my right chest and back of my right arm to the raised area just under my right clavicle where my port is to the aching joints that make me feel like I'm 100 when first trying to get moving, continuing right on down to the tips of my toes, one of which is missing a toenail as of this a.m., a delayed side effect of the chemo.
Tomorrow marks another milestone in my progress as I start my first of sixteen radiation treatments. Following my BEAUTY exercise class this a.m. I went shopping for glaxal base cream, aloe vera and some loose cotton camisoles and sports bras in preparation. I plan on being an A student for Shannon, she would expect no less from me.
I do not want to look too much farther ahead at the moment but there will be more scans, more appointments, the continued Herceptin infusions every three weeks, the eventual removal of the port following the completion of the infusions and the possibility of reconstruction surgery when/if I can wrap my head around it.
In spite of all of this, normal is starting to insert itself back into my life more and more every day as the months progress. I am contemplating returning to work in less than six weeks time, hard to believe!
As I walked through the stores today I was reminded that spring is coming as evidenced by all the Easter displays, the spring clothes on prominent display, the tired looking winter clothes languishing on the clearance racks and the gardening items making their appearances in the seasonal aisles.
Seasons do come and go, life goes on and moves forward.
I am not the same person I was on June 20th, 2012 - I hope I am a stronger, wiser person today. I am very much more aware of how blessed I am. I have not had to walk this journey alone.
God is good.
A friend shared this on Facebook today and I would like to close with it -
Take care everyone.
I am very much aware of where I have been in my journey when I wake up every morning - from my cold, getting slightly less bald head to the weird numbness of my right chest and back of my right arm to the raised area just under my right clavicle where my port is to the aching joints that make me feel like I'm 100 when first trying to get moving, continuing right on down to the tips of my toes, one of which is missing a toenail as of this a.m., a delayed side effect of the chemo.
Tomorrow marks another milestone in my progress as I start my first of sixteen radiation treatments. Following my BEAUTY exercise class this a.m. I went shopping for glaxal base cream, aloe vera and some loose cotton camisoles and sports bras in preparation. I plan on being an A student for Shannon, she would expect no less from me.
I do not want to look too much farther ahead at the moment but there will be more scans, more appointments, the continued Herceptin infusions every three weeks, the eventual removal of the port following the completion of the infusions and the possibility of reconstruction surgery when/if I can wrap my head around it.
In spite of all of this, normal is starting to insert itself back into my life more and more every day as the months progress. I am contemplating returning to work in less than six weeks time, hard to believe!
As I walked through the stores today I was reminded that spring is coming as evidenced by all the Easter displays, the spring clothes on prominent display, the tired looking winter clothes languishing on the clearance racks and the gardening items making their appearances in the seasonal aisles.
Seasons do come and go, life goes on and moves forward.
I am not the same person I was on June 20th, 2012 - I hope I am a stronger, wiser person today. I am very much more aware of how blessed I am. I have not had to walk this journey alone.
God is good.
A friend shared this on Facebook today and I would like to close with it -
Take care everyone.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
Accomplishments
Valentine's Day found me having dates for everything but romance. The appraiser for my insurance company called and arranged to come over to see the car on Thursday morning. He was very pleasant and I think I made a new convert to our neighbourhood out of him; the neighbourhood is one that many people don't seem to be that aware of and yet it is a wonderful location with many benefits of living in it, not the least being that it borders a provincial park with incredible views and walking/biking paths.
In the afternoon I went to my Return to Work course. This was the second of eight weeks in the course, but my first time attending due to my Radiation Oncologist appointment the week before. It was very interesting to hear other people's perspectives on the experience of cancer and of returning to work. Some will be looking for work and some, like me, will be returning to work after a period of time off. I once again realized how very blessed I have been in my situation - both with the care I have experienced in my cancer treatment and in my work situation. It has been so wonderful to be able to keep in contact with and see the people I have worked with in the past and my current co-workers during my time off. I will be able to gradually work my way back into my work role at my own pace, something that not all at the course seemed confident of being able to accomplish without a lot of self-advocacy and negotiation on their part.
Following the course I drove over to the cancer centre for my Herceptin infusion. I was able to get in right at my appointment time of 4:45 and this time the nurse said we would be able to infuse the Herceptin over 30 minutes rather than an hour as I had not had any adverse reactions with the prior infusions. This meant 250 ml of fluid going in over over 30 minutes; it felt cold as it infused that quickly but other than that and continuing to be a little chilled throughout the evening, I have felt quite good since, no headaches or flu like symptoms this time around.
Alternating periods of rest and activity has been working well for me and this continued through Friday and Saturday. A Facebook friend posted a week or so ago that she was 'under the weather' and therefore was going to nap and hoped to accomplish a few things 'between naps'. I commented on her post that I thought naps were an accomplishment. I'm continuing to stand by that and therefore I can honestly say that I feel very good about all my accomplishments, active and inactive, over the last few days ;).
Today was potluck Sunday at church and my mother's first adventure out since returning to the lodge. She was very excited and called yesterday to make sure the arrangements hadn't changed. When we picked her up this morning the nurses told us she wouldn't go to breakfast as she was so afraid she would miss us if she did. Funny what a person's mind can tell them when they are anxious or excited about an occasion and don't want anything to go wrong. We had to walk right past the dining area in order to get to her room therefore we wouldn't have been able to miss her if we tried. In spite of that, it was a successful outing and it was good medicine for her. She brought back a nice assortment of goodies as a souvenir of her day and she will probably sleep well tonight after all the excitement.
Radiation starts for me on Thursday morning this week and the rest of the week's schedule seems to be filling up quickly with pleasant activities. The highlight will be a trip to Cranbrook next Saturday to celebrate Forrest's first birthday - before then I am hoping to get in a few more 'accomplishments'.
Take care everyone.
In the afternoon I went to my Return to Work course. This was the second of eight weeks in the course, but my first time attending due to my Radiation Oncologist appointment the week before. It was very interesting to hear other people's perspectives on the experience of cancer and of returning to work. Some will be looking for work and some, like me, will be returning to work after a period of time off. I once again realized how very blessed I have been in my situation - both with the care I have experienced in my cancer treatment and in my work situation. It has been so wonderful to be able to keep in contact with and see the people I have worked with in the past and my current co-workers during my time off. I will be able to gradually work my way back into my work role at my own pace, something that not all at the course seemed confident of being able to accomplish without a lot of self-advocacy and negotiation on their part.
Following the course I drove over to the cancer centre for my Herceptin infusion. I was able to get in right at my appointment time of 4:45 and this time the nurse said we would be able to infuse the Herceptin over 30 minutes rather than an hour as I had not had any adverse reactions with the prior infusions. This meant 250 ml of fluid going in over over 30 minutes; it felt cold as it infused that quickly but other than that and continuing to be a little chilled throughout the evening, I have felt quite good since, no headaches or flu like symptoms this time around.
Alternating periods of rest and activity has been working well for me and this continued through Friday and Saturday. A Facebook friend posted a week or so ago that she was 'under the weather' and therefore was going to nap and hoped to accomplish a few things 'between naps'. I commented on her post that I thought naps were an accomplishment. I'm continuing to stand by that and therefore I can honestly say that I feel very good about all my accomplishments, active and inactive, over the last few days ;).
Today was potluck Sunday at church and my mother's first adventure out since returning to the lodge. She was very excited and called yesterday to make sure the arrangements hadn't changed. When we picked her up this morning the nurses told us she wouldn't go to breakfast as she was so afraid she would miss us if she did. Funny what a person's mind can tell them when they are anxious or excited about an occasion and don't want anything to go wrong. We had to walk right past the dining area in order to get to her room therefore we wouldn't have been able to miss her if we tried. In spite of that, it was a successful outing and it was good medicine for her. She brought back a nice assortment of goodies as a souvenir of her day and she will probably sleep well tonight after all the excitement.
Radiation starts for me on Thursday morning this week and the rest of the week's schedule seems to be filling up quickly with pleasant activities. The highlight will be a trip to Cranbrook next Saturday to celebrate Forrest's first birthday - before then I am hoping to get in a few more 'accomplishments'.
Take care everyone.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
A Week of Smiles
Last week I mentioned that Rod had misplaced something and was looking for it in the morning before work. I will elaborate on the story here as well as add a few other things that made me smile this week.
What Rod had misplaced was a little brown envelope that had money in it. It had been given to him for attending a focus group the night before and he knew he had brought it into the house when he came home. I told him I would look for it during the day and he said he would try to retrace his steps in his mind and let me know if he thought of anything. It was also garbage and recycle day so he took care of that before he left. As he was driving to work, he said to himself 'Laura would pray about it'. So he did. He had a strong urge to go back and get the garbage bag he had thrown out. In spite of the fact that it would make him late he came back and got the garbage bag, put it in his truck and took it to work with him.
As the morning progressed he texted me and asked me to check various places. Nothing. I actually went out and brought the recycle bin back into the yard just in case it might have ended up in it and I looked in the garbage bin but there was no garbage in it so I thought the garbage truck must have come already.
At the end of his work day Rod remembered the garbage bag in his truck and decided to go through it before he came home. That's where it had fallen into. When he got home he came through the door with a slightly soggy envelope in his hand, the money intact, and a smile on his face.
The next day we received a large colorful envelope from Lilly, Keiran and Forrest containing homemade Valentines. Lots of effort went into the creation of the Valentine's - Lilly's was blowing a kiss when it was opened (very creative), Keiran's had two hands connected with accordion folded paper and said 'I love you this much' and Forrest's had a footprint to prove he loved us to the tips of his toes. Lilly and Keiran had also sent a fill in the blank 'How do I love thee, let me count the ways' worksheet where their answers to various questions like 'what is your favorite number' were placed in the blanks and made for some funny reading. Both Grandpa and I have been wearing big smiles since receiving this envelope.
Today I smiled after talking to my insurance agent and being told that they were waiving my deductible as the accident yesterday was not my fault. They will also supply a rental car while mine is being repaired. I also smiled as I picked up the final Kitchenaid food processor and accessory pack at Direct Buy. Long story short is that they were a great deal on Direct Buy in early November. I ordered three sets as Christmas gifts - one for each couple - Justin and Leah, Jordan and Celia and Caleb and Leisha. By Christmas we had two food processors and one accessory pack. After much communication and some frustration the order is now finally complete and Caleb and Leisha will receive theirs tomorrow, in time for Valentine's, slightly late for Christmas.
The last smile for today was when I went to take my Mom her laundry, visit and pick up her new laundry. As I walked into her room I noticed that there were now two walkers. The two wheeled 'clothes rack' and another four wheeled one I hadn't seen before. It seems that she had this four wheeled walker at my brother's place, he innocently brought it out to her at her request, unaware of any drama involved. I've got to hand it to her - she outwitted me :)
Take care everyone.
What Rod had misplaced was a little brown envelope that had money in it. It had been given to him for attending a focus group the night before and he knew he had brought it into the house when he came home. I told him I would look for it during the day and he said he would try to retrace his steps in his mind and let me know if he thought of anything. It was also garbage and recycle day so he took care of that before he left. As he was driving to work, he said to himself 'Laura would pray about it'. So he did. He had a strong urge to go back and get the garbage bag he had thrown out. In spite of the fact that it would make him late he came back and got the garbage bag, put it in his truck and took it to work with him.
As the morning progressed he texted me and asked me to check various places. Nothing. I actually went out and brought the recycle bin back into the yard just in case it might have ended up in it and I looked in the garbage bin but there was no garbage in it so I thought the garbage truck must have come already.
At the end of his work day Rod remembered the garbage bag in his truck and decided to go through it before he came home. That's where it had fallen into. When he got home he came through the door with a slightly soggy envelope in his hand, the money intact, and a smile on his face.
The next day we received a large colorful envelope from Lilly, Keiran and Forrest containing homemade Valentines. Lots of effort went into the creation of the Valentine's - Lilly's was blowing a kiss when it was opened (very creative), Keiran's had two hands connected with accordion folded paper and said 'I love you this much' and Forrest's had a footprint to prove he loved us to the tips of his toes. Lilly and Keiran had also sent a fill in the blank 'How do I love thee, let me count the ways' worksheet where their answers to various questions like 'what is your favorite number' were placed in the blanks and made for some funny reading. Both Grandpa and I have been wearing big smiles since receiving this envelope.
Today I smiled after talking to my insurance agent and being told that they were waiving my deductible as the accident yesterday was not my fault. They will also supply a rental car while mine is being repaired. I also smiled as I picked up the final Kitchenaid food processor and accessory pack at Direct Buy. Long story short is that they were a great deal on Direct Buy in early November. I ordered three sets as Christmas gifts - one for each couple - Justin and Leah, Jordan and Celia and Caleb and Leisha. By Christmas we had two food processors and one accessory pack. After much communication and some frustration the order is now finally complete and Caleb and Leisha will receive theirs tomorrow, in time for Valentine's, slightly late for Christmas.
The last smile for today was when I went to take my Mom her laundry, visit and pick up her new laundry. As I walked into her room I noticed that there were now two walkers. The two wheeled 'clothes rack' and another four wheeled one I hadn't seen before. It seems that she had this four wheeled walker at my brother's place, he innocently brought it out to her at her request, unaware of any drama involved. I've got to hand it to her - she outwitted me :)
Take care everyone.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Tattoos, tires, what next ...
I officially have my first tattoos. I've been told they are addictive, so who knows what I'll decide to tattoo next.
The tattoos are part of the process in getting ready for radiation. Yesterday I had lunch with Shannon and I had the best and most comprehensive preparation for my CT Sim and my radiation treatments that anyone could hope for. We had a lovely lunch, I am so impressed with Shannon. There she was having lunch with someone the same age as her mother and yet I never felt any age difference, all I felt from her was caring and friendship.
I think that the CT Sim went that much quicker and smoothly because of Shannon's preparation. I checked in at the reception desk and was told to follow the 'blue line' to the radiation simulation area where I would find a little waiting area and a box on the wall to put my patient card in . I did exactly as I was instructed, trying not to be too anal about walking on the blue line as others walked toward me on it and I had to go around them. ;) One of the people coming toward me as I walked was Diana, a co-worker from my Day Surgery days. She gave me a quick hug and told me she was glad I was having radiation and wished me well.
The waiting area and the box on the wall were just as described. My card didn't even have a chance to get cold before it was scooped up by a radiation tech. He came back to the waiting area and asked me to come change into a blue gown and housecoat and then go back to the waiting area. When I returned to the waiting area a family arrived, with a young boy (the patient), some teenage siblings and the parents. One of the teenage girls reached into her pocket, pulled out her hand and said 'Yecch! Melted mini-eggs!' Her father teased her, saying that maybe she had had an accident and it wasn't mini-eggs. I couldn't resist telling her that she should lick her fingers and then tell him that he had been correct. They all laughed.
I was called in shortly after that for my CT Sim. The techs moved fast. I had a picture of my face taken, then I was asked to lay on the CT table. Shannon had prepared me well for this so I made sure the gown wasn't wrinkled under me and that I was comfortable and relaxed. A support was placed under my knees and my arms were placed over my head with two handles to hold on to, I relaxed into the supports as Shannon had told me to. Three people taped my incision, measured and marked me with fuchsia crosses and when they were satisfied, they took two more pictures before they did the CT. Shannon had also warned me about this, telling me that they would instruct me to 'breathe normally', which as soon as you are conscious of trying to do, you're not. I did what she said and turned my thoughts to my grandchildren and the wonderful valentines they had sent Rod and I to help get my mind off of my breathing. Once the CT was done, it was tattoo time, at this appointment I got the three lower ones - left side, sternal and right side. At the next visit I will get one higher up. They look like little black freckles, not very imaginative or decorative but they serve their purpose, which is for the techs to be able to line me up perfectly each time I have my radiation. I was then told I was done; it couldn't have taken more than 15 minutes, I was told to allow one to one and a half hours when they called about the appointment. I like to think Shannon would be proud of her student, she was certainly a good teacher ;)
Today I had another lunch out, this time with Robin where we discussed my return to work, among other things. It was great to catch up on everything and the food was fantastic, I took the rest of mine home so I could have it for lunch again tomorrow and it was the topic of another conversation we had later today, it was that good!
After I left, my car 'told me' that I needed some air in the right rear tire so I stopped and took care of that and then started the drive home. At the bottom of the hill that the hospital sits on there is a set of lights with two lanes that turn left and one lane that turns right where the road 'T's'. I was sitting at the light, waiting to turn left when a large welding type truck came up very close beside me on the right hand side. I was quite concerned for my mirror as it squeezed past me but it missed that, I was just drawing a sigh of relief, when I heard an awful screeching as the truck rubbed along the back right side of my car, just over the tire that I had filled. The driver pulled around the corner and I followed. We exchanged insurance information, his supervisor also came out to see the damage, so I waited for him. We took pictures all around, and the driver apologized profusely to me multiple times. At the police station where I filed my report, I realized that I had neglected to get the name of the insurance company but I had the policy number, the name of the company he worked for and his name, etc. The person that was helping me smiled as they looked him up, another recent accident report for this person with the same truck and insurance policy number was on file, the insurance company was identified there so no need to contact him.
Not how I'd planned to spend my afternoon and amazing how draining something like that can be once all the details are taken care of. I'm very thankful that the damage wasn't worse and that, once again, Rod was there to help smooth the way with insurance and with his autobody contacts.
Take care, everyone
The tattoos are part of the process in getting ready for radiation. Yesterday I had lunch with Shannon and I had the best and most comprehensive preparation for my CT Sim and my radiation treatments that anyone could hope for. We had a lovely lunch, I am so impressed with Shannon. There she was having lunch with someone the same age as her mother and yet I never felt any age difference, all I felt from her was caring and friendship.
I think that the CT Sim went that much quicker and smoothly because of Shannon's preparation. I checked in at the reception desk and was told to follow the 'blue line' to the radiation simulation area where I would find a little waiting area and a box on the wall to put my patient card in . I did exactly as I was instructed, trying not to be too anal about walking on the blue line as others walked toward me on it and I had to go around them. ;) One of the people coming toward me as I walked was Diana, a co-worker from my Day Surgery days. She gave me a quick hug and told me she was glad I was having radiation and wished me well.
The waiting area and the box on the wall were just as described. My card didn't even have a chance to get cold before it was scooped up by a radiation tech. He came back to the waiting area and asked me to come change into a blue gown and housecoat and then go back to the waiting area. When I returned to the waiting area a family arrived, with a young boy (the patient), some teenage siblings and the parents. One of the teenage girls reached into her pocket, pulled out her hand and said 'Yecch! Melted mini-eggs!' Her father teased her, saying that maybe she had had an accident and it wasn't mini-eggs. I couldn't resist telling her that she should lick her fingers and then tell him that he had been correct. They all laughed.
I was called in shortly after that for my CT Sim. The techs moved fast. I had a picture of my face taken, then I was asked to lay on the CT table. Shannon had prepared me well for this so I made sure the gown wasn't wrinkled under me and that I was comfortable and relaxed. A support was placed under my knees and my arms were placed over my head with two handles to hold on to, I relaxed into the supports as Shannon had told me to. Three people taped my incision, measured and marked me with fuchsia crosses and when they were satisfied, they took two more pictures before they did the CT. Shannon had also warned me about this, telling me that they would instruct me to 'breathe normally', which as soon as you are conscious of trying to do, you're not. I did what she said and turned my thoughts to my grandchildren and the wonderful valentines they had sent Rod and I to help get my mind off of my breathing. Once the CT was done, it was tattoo time, at this appointment I got the three lower ones - left side, sternal and right side. At the next visit I will get one higher up. They look like little black freckles, not very imaginative or decorative but they serve their purpose, which is for the techs to be able to line me up perfectly each time I have my radiation. I was then told I was done; it couldn't have taken more than 15 minutes, I was told to allow one to one and a half hours when they called about the appointment. I like to think Shannon would be proud of her student, she was certainly a good teacher ;)
Today I had another lunch out, this time with Robin where we discussed my return to work, among other things. It was great to catch up on everything and the food was fantastic, I took the rest of mine home so I could have it for lunch again tomorrow and it was the topic of another conversation we had later today, it was that good!
After I left, my car 'told me' that I needed some air in the right rear tire so I stopped and took care of that and then started the drive home. At the bottom of the hill that the hospital sits on there is a set of lights with two lanes that turn left and one lane that turns right where the road 'T's'. I was sitting at the light, waiting to turn left when a large welding type truck came up very close beside me on the right hand side. I was quite concerned for my mirror as it squeezed past me but it missed that, I was just drawing a sigh of relief, when I heard an awful screeching as the truck rubbed along the back right side of my car, just over the tire that I had filled. The driver pulled around the corner and I followed. We exchanged insurance information, his supervisor also came out to see the damage, so I waited for him. We took pictures all around, and the driver apologized profusely to me multiple times. At the police station where I filed my report, I realized that I had neglected to get the name of the insurance company but I had the policy number, the name of the company he worked for and his name, etc. The person that was helping me smiled as they looked him up, another recent accident report for this person with the same truck and insurance policy number was on file, the insurance company was identified there so no need to contact him.
Not how I'd planned to spend my afternoon and amazing how draining something like that can be once all the details are taken care of. I'm very thankful that the damage wasn't worse and that, once again, Rod was there to help smooth the way with insurance and with his autobody contacts.
Take care, everyone
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Canmore and Catch-up
It has been a busy few days!
Thursday afternoon was my appointment with the radiation oncologist. She had me at 'hello' ;)
Her first statement when she saw me was 'You look great!', music to my ears even if she was embellishing the truth. We discussed the guidelines for radiation therapy at our Cancer Centre, which I fall into and we discussed several recent studies which seem to indicate that I would benefit by choosing the extra insurance that radiation therapy would provide me. When making the choice I mentioned that one of my reasons for making the decision for radiation therapy was that I had three grandchildren already, one on the way and hoping to be there for more in the future. She managed to act suitably surprised that I could be a grandma, again music to my somewhat deaf ears. :)
Friday morning I received a call from the radiation therapy scheduling area, I am booked for a CT Sim on Monday afternoon at 3:15. I'll know more about it after the fact but this is where they map the radiation area and I get my tattoos.
Shannon is Ev's daughter-in-law, she is currently on leave from her work in the radiation therapy area and she has graciously offered to give me an overview and tips and tricks. We have set a lunch date for Monday, before the CT Sim. Apparently the first tip is that the more relaxed I am during the CT Sim, the better.
The rest of Friday found me preparing for our trip to Canmore and running out for a quick visit with my Mother. Her hair looked great, she seemed pleased and she seemed to be settling in and much less anxious about everything. I had to chuckle when I looked at her walker though. She had various items of clothing draped over it. When I pointed out that this wasn't actually it's intended purpose, she told me she 'hated it'. She is missing her four wheel walker, which the physiotherapists felt she was not ready to use as she is putting too much of her weight against the walker as she walks - with a two wheel walker this is OK, but with a four wheel walker it could be a fall hazard. She is not happy about it and points out at every chance she has that everybody else in the lodge are using four wheel walkers. I try to tell her that she is not 'everybody else' - it is remniscent of dealing with teenagers when they use the 'everybody's doing it' excuse ;)
Our weekend in Canmore was pre-booked a while back when the people I work with gave us the gift certificate for a two night stay there with all the bells and whistles. We couldn't have asked for better weather or better timing for the weekend with chemo further and further in the past and radiation not here yet. The scenery was spectacular, there was a winter festival going on so we got in on freebies like hot chocolate and marshmallows and events like ice carving and dog sled racing. I loved that I was just one of very many people wearing hats as we walked about town. The stores all seemed to be having sales on to coincide with the winter festival and we found a few things we just 'had to have'. Our stay included one dinner for two and two breakfasts for two and with some of the extra money provided on a Visa card we treated ourselves to a lovely dinner at Murietta's. One of the items purchased that I will carry forward to my return to work is a tea cup that has a mesh basket insert for loose tea and a lid. It is in a very pretty pattern and I bought some apple spice tea to go with it. Whenever I use it I will remember the generosity of my co-workers in providing us with this weekend.
When I reflect on the weekend I realize how much I have changed through this cancer process and how much more I am enjoying the moment and not looking at the 'what could be's' or 'what if's'. We had to take it slower as we walked about town but in taking things slower I think we saw and appreciated things we may have missed if we hadn't had to take our time. Being outside in the cold weather seems to make me stiff and sore, combine that with the occasional nausea and tiredness and we ended up ducking into various places to warm up and take a moment to sit. This allows for more people watching. We very much enjoyed watching a fairly new 'walker' escape from his mother, after the first time it became a game for him, by the fourth time, Mom didn't give chase and the poor little guy wandered back to make sure all was still well with his world, which for him was Mom.
As I look at the week ahead it again promises to be busy, but a pleasant busy. Monday will be the lunch with Shannon and the CT Sim. Tuesday I am lunching with Robin, Thursday (Valentine's Day) I will start a Return to Work course at Wellsprings that runs for eight weeks. I had to miss the first week for my radiation oncology appointment but hope to make the rest of the classes. After the course is my Herceptin treatment and then I will probably lay low again for Friday.
Take care everyone.
Thursday afternoon was my appointment with the radiation oncologist. She had me at 'hello' ;)
Her first statement when she saw me was 'You look great!', music to my ears even if she was embellishing the truth. We discussed the guidelines for radiation therapy at our Cancer Centre, which I fall into and we discussed several recent studies which seem to indicate that I would benefit by choosing the extra insurance that radiation therapy would provide me. When making the choice I mentioned that one of my reasons for making the decision for radiation therapy was that I had three grandchildren already, one on the way and hoping to be there for more in the future. She managed to act suitably surprised that I could be a grandma, again music to my somewhat deaf ears. :)
Friday morning I received a call from the radiation therapy scheduling area, I am booked for a CT Sim on Monday afternoon at 3:15. I'll know more about it after the fact but this is where they map the radiation area and I get my tattoos.
Shannon is Ev's daughter-in-law, she is currently on leave from her work in the radiation therapy area and she has graciously offered to give me an overview and tips and tricks. We have set a lunch date for Monday, before the CT Sim. Apparently the first tip is that the more relaxed I am during the CT Sim, the better.
The rest of Friday found me preparing for our trip to Canmore and running out for a quick visit with my Mother. Her hair looked great, she seemed pleased and she seemed to be settling in and much less anxious about everything. I had to chuckle when I looked at her walker though. She had various items of clothing draped over it. When I pointed out that this wasn't actually it's intended purpose, she told me she 'hated it'. She is missing her four wheel walker, which the physiotherapists felt she was not ready to use as she is putting too much of her weight against the walker as she walks - with a two wheel walker this is OK, but with a four wheel walker it could be a fall hazard. She is not happy about it and points out at every chance she has that everybody else in the lodge are using four wheel walkers. I try to tell her that she is not 'everybody else' - it is remniscent of dealing with teenagers when they use the 'everybody's doing it' excuse ;)
Our weekend in Canmore was pre-booked a while back when the people I work with gave us the gift certificate for a two night stay there with all the bells and whistles. We couldn't have asked for better weather or better timing for the weekend with chemo further and further in the past and radiation not here yet. The scenery was spectacular, there was a winter festival going on so we got in on freebies like hot chocolate and marshmallows and events like ice carving and dog sled racing. I loved that I was just one of very many people wearing hats as we walked about town. The stores all seemed to be having sales on to coincide with the winter festival and we found a few things we just 'had to have'. Our stay included one dinner for two and two breakfasts for two and with some of the extra money provided on a Visa card we treated ourselves to a lovely dinner at Murietta's. One of the items purchased that I will carry forward to my return to work is a tea cup that has a mesh basket insert for loose tea and a lid. It is in a very pretty pattern and I bought some apple spice tea to go with it. Whenever I use it I will remember the generosity of my co-workers in providing us with this weekend.
When I reflect on the weekend I realize how much I have changed through this cancer process and how much more I am enjoying the moment and not looking at the 'what could be's' or 'what if's'. We had to take it slower as we walked about town but in taking things slower I think we saw and appreciated things we may have missed if we hadn't had to take our time. Being outside in the cold weather seems to make me stiff and sore, combine that with the occasional nausea and tiredness and we ended up ducking into various places to warm up and take a moment to sit. This allows for more people watching. We very much enjoyed watching a fairly new 'walker' escape from his mother, after the first time it became a game for him, by the fourth time, Mom didn't give chase and the poor little guy wandered back to make sure all was still well with his world, which for him was Mom.
As I look at the week ahead it again promises to be busy, but a pleasant busy. Monday will be the lunch with Shannon and the CT Sim. Tuesday I am lunching with Robin, Thursday (Valentine's Day) I will start a Return to Work course at Wellsprings that runs for eight weeks. I had to miss the first week for my radiation oncology appointment but hope to make the rest of the classes. After the course is my Herceptin treatment and then I will probably lay low again for Friday.
Take care everyone.
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Battle Fatigue
Tuesday morning of this week found me discharging my mother from the care of the rehab facility and transporting her to the lodge where she had only spent about 10 days prior to her fall. She was very anxious and afraid. When we were going through the discharge process there was a checklist to be signed, each discipline that supported her during her time at the facility had to sign off also. As I was reviewing this checklist with the team lead the physio note made me stop. There was an area where home exercises were to be reviewed with the patient and in this section there was a note that said 'Patient refused physiotherapy treatments so home exercises were not reviewed'. This did not sound like Mom, nor did it equate with the communications that I had been having with the staff at the rehab facility. I asked what it meant and the team lead offered to bring the physiotherapist who had documented it in to explain. According to the physiotherapist, Mom cooperated in the beginning with going to physio but then 'refused' further physio. When Mom heard this she burst out with a very adamant 'That is not true!'. I asked her to explain. She said that one Thursday she did not feel good and said she did not want to go that day and the following day my brother was visiting and she asked if they could come back later. I then told the physio that possibly there was a communication issue. She denied this and maintained that Mom had refused treatment. I said to Mom, 'So there was one day you were sick and one day you had a visitor'. She agreed and said that she didn't see physio after that point in time. I found it interesting as her main reason for being there was for physio, I had been communicated with as if the requirement for more physio was the reason she was staying longer. After another attempt at discussion it seemed we were at a stalemate so we left. I feel that I should follow up on my concerns with the company that runs the facility though.
Dawn met us at the lodge. It was so wonderful to have her there to help with settling Mom in. We left her as she went in for her meal. Before we left she had been warmly welcomed back and two nurses had been in to talk to her and take vital signs and weight. I spoke with the nurses before I left to ensure that her medications had arrived and I was able to get her an appointment for her hair to be done for 4 p.m. I went back up to inform her of the appointment but I think she was so scared she wasn't taking it all in. The hairdresser said she would call up to the floor and have the staff transport her down for the appointment. As I left, it felt like leaving my child on the first day of school.
That evening was the movie evening with the group of ladies, very enjoyable. After having spent so much time in the company of elderly cancer patients of late, having my own side effects from treatment combined with the time at the rehab facility and now back at the lodge, the physical and cognitive challenges the characters in the movie were facing as they aged was that much more real to me.
Yesterday morning I went and spent a little time with my online friend Benny at possibly her last chemo session, then I dropped off yet more insurance forms for my oncologist before heading over to the BEAUTY program at the University. It is so wonderful to walk into the gym and be able to just 'be' with these ladies. All of us go 'topless' in regards to head coverings of any kind and our hair is at various stages of loss or regrowth. I have felt the regrowth for myself to be painstakingly slow but the instructor came up to me and told me my hair was coming in so nicely and mentioned it was 'so thick'. Not what I've been seeing in the mirror but a very welcome comment, somebody seems to be noticing a difference.
I returned home to have lunch, get supper started and then ran out on some other errands, including a meeting with my bank financial planner. I could tell I was fading as I sat at her desk but decided to push myself just a little further to pick up a package at the post office on my way home. I should not have done this. It was like I hit a wall of fatigue and nausea while standing in line there and a nap once home did not alleviate the symptoms, which stuck around for the remainder of the evening.
How appropriate then to wake up this morning to this reading in 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -
Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.
Love it and needed it! Just after reading it Kenny came into our room wondering where his favorite swim trunks were as swimming was starting today at school (love the last minute communication ;). I didn't rise to the bait, he had some trunks he could use and those are the ones he took to school this morning. I'm sure we'll find the favorite ones over the weekend or one of his 'other mothers' will bring them to me, as has happened before. Rod also had a misplaced item that he knew he had brought in from his truck last night. I asked him if he needed it to go to work today. When he said no, I said we'd deal with it later and went back to my coffee and reading ;).
This a.m. I will take things a little easier and then I will be off to my radiation oncologist appointment for the afternoon where a big 'choice in my pathway' will be discussed.
Take care everyone.
Dawn met us at the lodge. It was so wonderful to have her there to help with settling Mom in. We left her as she went in for her meal. Before we left she had been warmly welcomed back and two nurses had been in to talk to her and take vital signs and weight. I spoke with the nurses before I left to ensure that her medications had arrived and I was able to get her an appointment for her hair to be done for 4 p.m. I went back up to inform her of the appointment but I think she was so scared she wasn't taking it all in. The hairdresser said she would call up to the floor and have the staff transport her down for the appointment. As I left, it felt like leaving my child on the first day of school.
That evening was the movie evening with the group of ladies, very enjoyable. After having spent so much time in the company of elderly cancer patients of late, having my own side effects from treatment combined with the time at the rehab facility and now back at the lodge, the physical and cognitive challenges the characters in the movie were facing as they aged was that much more real to me.
Yesterday morning I went and spent a little time with my online friend Benny at possibly her last chemo session, then I dropped off yet more insurance forms for my oncologist before heading over to the BEAUTY program at the University. It is so wonderful to walk into the gym and be able to just 'be' with these ladies. All of us go 'topless' in regards to head coverings of any kind and our hair is at various stages of loss or regrowth. I have felt the regrowth for myself to be painstakingly slow but the instructor came up to me and told me my hair was coming in so nicely and mentioned it was 'so thick'. Not what I've been seeing in the mirror but a very welcome comment, somebody seems to be noticing a difference.
I returned home to have lunch, get supper started and then ran out on some other errands, including a meeting with my bank financial planner. I could tell I was fading as I sat at her desk but decided to push myself just a little further to pick up a package at the post office on my way home. I should not have done this. It was like I hit a wall of fatigue and nausea while standing in line there and a nap once home did not alleviate the symptoms, which stuck around for the remainder of the evening.
How appropriate then to wake up this morning to this reading in 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -
Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life.
Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.
Love it and needed it! Just after reading it Kenny came into our room wondering where his favorite swim trunks were as swimming was starting today at school (love the last minute communication ;). I didn't rise to the bait, he had some trunks he could use and those are the ones he took to school this morning. I'm sure we'll find the favorite ones over the weekend or one of his 'other mothers' will bring them to me, as has happened before. Rod also had a misplaced item that he knew he had brought in from his truck last night. I asked him if he needed it to go to work today. When he said no, I said we'd deal with it later and went back to my coffee and reading ;).
This a.m. I will take things a little easier and then I will be off to my radiation oncologist appointment for the afternoon where a big 'choice in my pathway' will be discussed.
Take care everyone.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Rests
Saturday's workshop on 'Singing Harmony' was everything I was hoping it would be and more. Magnolia Buckskin has suggested putting on a 'Singing Harmony 2' workshop for those of use who participated in this one. There was also the suggestion that it might be fun to have a Wellspring choir. I think I would like that.
In music 'rests' play a very important part, the pauses they indicate help to define the rhythm of the song.
I am becoming better at making room for 'rests' in the music of my days - alternating times of activity with times of rest - today found me doing some light housework first thing, then organizing myself to pay some bills, make some calls, etc. while I sat. I followed that with some laundry, this entailed a few trips up and down stairs so I rewarded myself with another rest where I listened to an audio lecture on iTunes University. I am really enjoying the iTunes University app, there is a lot of free information from good universities and it makes me feel a little more 'righteous' when I do something like this than when I watch a 'chick flick' ;) (although I have been known to do that also when my mind does not want to be challenged too much).
This afternoon I drove over to the rehab facility and packed up most of Mom's things. She is excited but a little anxious about moving back. I spoke to the lodge and the pharmacy on Friday and the team lead from the rehab facility this a.m. so all is set. My friend Dawn will meet us at the lodge to help bring in Mom's things with me. I am hoping that I can set up a hair appointment while I am there, she has missed having her weekly hair appointment while convalescing.
That was the rest and activity for the early part of the afternoon. The next rest was sitting in the car wash line waiting for my turn, all this warm weather melting the snow so quickly has certainly been keeping the car washes in business.
Rod had the day off today so he met me at Costco and helped with the grocery buying, we may have bought a few other things than food while there ;). I have all Mom's equipment and now her clothes, etc in my car for tomorrow so it was good to have Rod's truck to pack the groceries etc. in.
The next rest was rush hour traffic on the way home, not much you can do about that but be patient and hope there are no accidents to make it worse, today was good in that regard.
Once groceries were put away and Mom's laundry started I made up some salads and put the main course in the oven while we ate the salads. This is where I have learned to delegate some more. Rod took over serving up the rest of supper and cleaning up, allowing me to rest a little longer.
When I finish this I'll go make myself walk on the treadmill and then hopefully to night my rest will not be too disturbed by the tamoxifen side effects.
Take care everyone.
In music 'rests' play a very important part, the pauses they indicate help to define the rhythm of the song.
I am becoming better at making room for 'rests' in the music of my days - alternating times of activity with times of rest - today found me doing some light housework first thing, then organizing myself to pay some bills, make some calls, etc. while I sat. I followed that with some laundry, this entailed a few trips up and down stairs so I rewarded myself with another rest where I listened to an audio lecture on iTunes University. I am really enjoying the iTunes University app, there is a lot of free information from good universities and it makes me feel a little more 'righteous' when I do something like this than when I watch a 'chick flick' ;) (although I have been known to do that also when my mind does not want to be challenged too much).
This afternoon I drove over to the rehab facility and packed up most of Mom's things. She is excited but a little anxious about moving back. I spoke to the lodge and the pharmacy on Friday and the team lead from the rehab facility this a.m. so all is set. My friend Dawn will meet us at the lodge to help bring in Mom's things with me. I am hoping that I can set up a hair appointment while I am there, she has missed having her weekly hair appointment while convalescing.
That was the rest and activity for the early part of the afternoon. The next rest was sitting in the car wash line waiting for my turn, all this warm weather melting the snow so quickly has certainly been keeping the car washes in business.
Rod had the day off today so he met me at Costco and helped with the grocery buying, we may have bought a few other things than food while there ;). I have all Mom's equipment and now her clothes, etc in my car for tomorrow so it was good to have Rod's truck to pack the groceries etc. in.
The next rest was rush hour traffic on the way home, not much you can do about that but be patient and hope there are no accidents to make it worse, today was good in that regard.
Once groceries were put away and Mom's laundry started I made up some salads and put the main course in the oven while we ate the salads. This is where I have learned to delegate some more. Rod took over serving up the rest of supper and cleaning up, allowing me to rest a little longer.
When I finish this I'll go make myself walk on the treadmill and then hopefully to night my rest will not be too disturbed by the tamoxifen side effects.
Take care everyone.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Status Update
Hi everyone.
I thought today would be a good one to provide a status update on many levels.
First, Kenny's wisdom teeth removal. Kenny had his wisdom teeth out on Wednesday, January 30th. Everything went very smoothly. The only way I could tell that he was nervous was that he was a little more talkative than normal beforehand. We had a great conversation driving there in the car and then continuing into the waiting room while we waited. Kenny went in fairly close to time and I knew before they told me that it was an easy removal as the next patient for his oral surgeon was called from the waiting room about fifteen minutes after Kenny went in. As I have experienced in other waiting rooms lately, I was given a buzzer like they give you in restaurants so you know when your table is ready. I was told when the buzzer went off that I was to proceed to the recovery area and given instructions on how to find it. As usual for me, I did not understand the directions correctly the first time and had to ask again before I ended up in the right spot. I was greeted by my 'sister' Gayle in the recovery area, how very nice to see her. She went over Kenny's discharge instructions with me and we chatted a bit. She told me Kenny took a bit to wake up but once awake, he was 'on'. We arranged for me to go and get the car and drive up to the door and she would bring him down. Seeing as how there was a wheelchair beside us as we talked, my assumption was that she would wheel him down. It was very amusing to see them as I drove up, Kenny and Gayle were walking side by side, he was almost twice the height of Gayle and clearly she would not have been able to catch him had he decided to faint. Kenny remarked to me after he got in the car that he kept saying over and over to himself as they came down - 'You can't faint'. Now that he is home, he has done very well; what more could I expect with all the good care he received.
I received a phone call from the rehab facility team lead yesterday a.m. to inform me that the plan is to discharge Mom on Tuesday, February 5th. That should work very well and I am so pleased to have that amount of time to prepare. I had been calling the Red Cross about her equipment daily and I was told on Wednesday afternoon that two pieces of the equipment were in and ready for her but there was still no wheelchair. I went to pick up those pieces yesterday afternoon and when I did they also wheeled out a wheelchair that had just come in that morning. We now have all the equipment needed for her for six months, which should give enough time for the authorization and acquisition of her own wheelchair during that time period.
Yesterday morning was my book club. We had a wonderful discussion about the book we had read, it is so very interesting to have the benefit of other people's shared viewpoints and experiences to enrich and enhance my own reading.
Next week I have another radiation oncologist appointment on Thursday afternoon. I have seen several recent studies that point to the benefit of radiation not just locally but systemically (over chemo alone) for high risk breast cancer, references to a couple of the studies were provided by this radiation oncologist. We will discuss this next week with the expectation that I will then proceed on to radiation therapy following the appointment.
My nails are really looking sad lately. There is more lifting occurring, no pain, just ugliness. My hair is slowly starting to make it's appearance. It is not yet the length it was when I had it buzzed prior to chemo and it is much patchier than it was in those pictures but I have hope. It started out fuzzy and white. Now I can see dark hairs growing and filling in. I find myself rubbing my head frequently when just sitting around home, it is so different to feel hair there again.
Energy wise, I find it is kind of like one step forward and two steps back at the moment. I had about a week where I felt that I was regaining my energy and not feeling so short of breath with activity. Now in the past couple of days I am finding myself once again short of breath and tired easily. I guess it is about the right timing for my last Herceptin infusion to be causing some of that and, apparently the Tamoxifen can also have an effect. If I go ahead with radiation I know it will also drain my energy so I will need to exercise some patience with myself, but it is definitely not my strong suit. I am continuing with my daily treadmill sessions which I think helps, I am maintaining a 3.0 mile/hour walking rate but can't seem to push the rate higher than that at the moment.
Tomorrow is my workshop on singing harmony at Well Spring. The weather has been beautiful over the last couple of days, I don't mind getting out and going places when the weather is nice, I just need to remember windshield washer fluid. I had to make a quick stop at Rod's shop yesterday afternoon on my way over to get Mom's equipment, I could just barely see through the windshield as I drove up.
On Tuesday evening a group of us ladies are going out to see 'Quartet', a movie directed by Dustin Hoffman. It promises to be a great evening with the added possibility of tea and dessert with the ladies following the movie.
There you have it. Not much to complain about, is there? ;)
Take care everyone.
I thought today would be a good one to provide a status update on many levels.
First, Kenny's wisdom teeth removal. Kenny had his wisdom teeth out on Wednesday, January 30th. Everything went very smoothly. The only way I could tell that he was nervous was that he was a little more talkative than normal beforehand. We had a great conversation driving there in the car and then continuing into the waiting room while we waited. Kenny went in fairly close to time and I knew before they told me that it was an easy removal as the next patient for his oral surgeon was called from the waiting room about fifteen minutes after Kenny went in. As I have experienced in other waiting rooms lately, I was given a buzzer like they give you in restaurants so you know when your table is ready. I was told when the buzzer went off that I was to proceed to the recovery area and given instructions on how to find it. As usual for me, I did not understand the directions correctly the first time and had to ask again before I ended up in the right spot. I was greeted by my 'sister' Gayle in the recovery area, how very nice to see her. She went over Kenny's discharge instructions with me and we chatted a bit. She told me Kenny took a bit to wake up but once awake, he was 'on'. We arranged for me to go and get the car and drive up to the door and she would bring him down. Seeing as how there was a wheelchair beside us as we talked, my assumption was that she would wheel him down. It was very amusing to see them as I drove up, Kenny and Gayle were walking side by side, he was almost twice the height of Gayle and clearly she would not have been able to catch him had he decided to faint. Kenny remarked to me after he got in the car that he kept saying over and over to himself as they came down - 'You can't faint'. Now that he is home, he has done very well; what more could I expect with all the good care he received.
I received a phone call from the rehab facility team lead yesterday a.m. to inform me that the plan is to discharge Mom on Tuesday, February 5th. That should work very well and I am so pleased to have that amount of time to prepare. I had been calling the Red Cross about her equipment daily and I was told on Wednesday afternoon that two pieces of the equipment were in and ready for her but there was still no wheelchair. I went to pick up those pieces yesterday afternoon and when I did they also wheeled out a wheelchair that had just come in that morning. We now have all the equipment needed for her for six months, which should give enough time for the authorization and acquisition of her own wheelchair during that time period.
Yesterday morning was my book club. We had a wonderful discussion about the book we had read, it is so very interesting to have the benefit of other people's shared viewpoints and experiences to enrich and enhance my own reading.
Next week I have another radiation oncologist appointment on Thursday afternoon. I have seen several recent studies that point to the benefit of radiation not just locally but systemically (over chemo alone) for high risk breast cancer, references to a couple of the studies were provided by this radiation oncologist. We will discuss this next week with the expectation that I will then proceed on to radiation therapy following the appointment.
My nails are really looking sad lately. There is more lifting occurring, no pain, just ugliness. My hair is slowly starting to make it's appearance. It is not yet the length it was when I had it buzzed prior to chemo and it is much patchier than it was in those pictures but I have hope. It started out fuzzy and white. Now I can see dark hairs growing and filling in. I find myself rubbing my head frequently when just sitting around home, it is so different to feel hair there again.
Energy wise, I find it is kind of like one step forward and two steps back at the moment. I had about a week where I felt that I was regaining my energy and not feeling so short of breath with activity. Now in the past couple of days I am finding myself once again short of breath and tired easily. I guess it is about the right timing for my last Herceptin infusion to be causing some of that and, apparently the Tamoxifen can also have an effect. If I go ahead with radiation I know it will also drain my energy so I will need to exercise some patience with myself, but it is definitely not my strong suit. I am continuing with my daily treadmill sessions which I think helps, I am maintaining a 3.0 mile/hour walking rate but can't seem to push the rate higher than that at the moment.
Tomorrow is my workshop on singing harmony at Well Spring. The weather has been beautiful over the last couple of days, I don't mind getting out and going places when the weather is nice, I just need to remember windshield washer fluid. I had to make a quick stop at Rod's shop yesterday afternoon on my way over to get Mom's equipment, I could just barely see through the windshield as I drove up.
On Tuesday evening a group of us ladies are going out to see 'Quartet', a movie directed by Dustin Hoffman. It promises to be a great evening with the added possibility of tea and dessert with the ladies following the movie.
There you have it. Not much to complain about, is there? ;)
Take care everyone.
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