Thursday, February 7, 2013

Battle Fatigue

Tuesday morning of this week found me discharging my mother from the care of the rehab facility and transporting her to the lodge where she had only spent about 10 days prior to her fall. She was very anxious and afraid. When we were going through the discharge process there was a checklist to be signed, each discipline that supported her during her time at the facility had to sign off also. As I was reviewing this checklist with the team lead the physio note made me stop. There was an area where home exercises were to be reviewed with the patient and in this section there was a note that said 'Patient refused physiotherapy treatments so home exercises were not reviewed'. This did not sound like Mom, nor did it equate with the communications that I had been having with the staff at the rehab facility. I asked what it meant and the team lead offered to bring the physiotherapist who had documented it in to explain. According to the physiotherapist, Mom cooperated in the beginning with going to physio but then 'refused' further physio. When Mom heard this she burst out with a very adamant 'That is not true!'. I asked her to explain. She said that one Thursday she did not feel good and said she did not want to go that day and the following day my brother was visiting and she asked if they could come back later. I then told the physio that possibly there was a communication issue. She denied this and maintained that Mom had refused treatment. I said to Mom, 'So there was one day you were sick and one day you had a visitor'. She agreed and said that she didn't see physio after that point in time. I found it interesting as her main reason for being there was for physio, I had been communicated with as if the requirement for more physio was the reason she was staying longer. After another attempt at discussion it seemed we were at a stalemate so we left. I feel that I should follow up on my concerns with the company that runs the facility though.

Dawn met us at the lodge. It was so wonderful to have her there to help with settling Mom in. We left her as she went in for her meal. Before we left she had been warmly welcomed back and two nurses had been in to talk to her and take vital signs and weight. I spoke with the nurses before I left to ensure that her medications had arrived and I was able to get her an appointment for her hair to be done for 4 p.m. I went back up to inform her of the appointment but I think she was so scared she wasn't taking it all in. The hairdresser said she would call up to the floor and have the staff transport her down for the appointment. As I left, it felt like leaving my child on the first day of school.

That evening was the movie evening with the group of ladies, very enjoyable. After having spent so much time in the company of elderly cancer patients of late, having my own side effects from treatment combined with the time at the rehab facility and now back at the lodge, the physical and cognitive challenges the characters in the movie were facing as they aged was that much more real to me.

Yesterday morning I went and spent a little time with my online friend Benny at possibly her last chemo session, then I dropped off yet more insurance forms for my oncologist before heading over to the BEAUTY program at the University. It is so wonderful to walk into the gym and be able to just 'be' with these ladies. All of us go 'topless' in regards to head coverings of any kind and our hair is at various stages of loss or regrowth. I have felt the regrowth for myself to be painstakingly slow but the instructor came up to me and told me my hair was coming in so nicely and mentioned it was 'so thick'. Not what I've been seeing in the mirror but a very welcome comment, somebody seems to be noticing a difference.

I returned home to have lunch, get supper started and then ran out on some other errands, including a meeting with my bank financial planner. I could tell I was fading as I sat at her desk but decided to push myself just a little further to pick up a package at the post office on my way home. I should not have done this. It was like I hit a wall of fatigue and nausea while standing in line there and a nap once home did not alleviate the symptoms, which stuck around for the remainder of the evening.

How appropriate then to wake up this morning to this reading in 'Jesus Calling' by Sarah Young -

Come to Me for rest and refreshment. The journey has been too much for you, and you are bone-weary. Do not be ashamed of your exhaustion. Instead, see it as an opportunity for Me to take charge of your life. 

Remember that I can fit everything into a pattern for good, including the things you wish were different. Start with where you are at this point in time and space, accepting that this is where I intend you to be. You will get through today one step, one moment at a time. Your main responsibility is to remain attentive to Me, letting Me guide you through the many choices along your pathway.

Love it and needed it! Just after reading it Kenny came into our room wondering where his favorite swim trunks were as swimming was starting today at school (love the last minute communication ;). I didn't rise to the bait, he had some trunks he could use and those are the ones he took to school this morning. I'm sure we'll find the favorite ones over the weekend or one of his 'other mothers' will bring them to me, as has happened before. Rod also had a misplaced item that he knew he had brought in from his truck last night. I asked him if he needed it to go to work today. When he said no, I said we'd deal with it later and went back to my coffee and reading ;).


This a.m. I will take things a little easier and then I will be off to my radiation oncologist appointment for the afternoon where a big 'choice in my pathway' will be discussed.

Take care everyone.


No comments:

Post a Comment