Wow! The weekend is almost at an end, we have sent Justin and Leah and family on their way home and taken Grandma back to the lodge. Baby Paisley is going to be the best groomed, best dressed, best fed, and best travelled baby around after the beautiful shower that Caleb and Leisha's friends held yesterday afternoon. The shower was well attended and the organizers spared no effort. Beautiful!
A few of my favorite lines from the weekend -
After I asked Justin whether there was anything he could see that was missing from their room that they might need - without skipping a beat his response was - a hot tub.
We have moved Kenny downstairs. On coming upstairs about noon on Saturday morning he stated that it would have been much easier to sleep if the 'defensive line for the Miami Dolphins' hadn't been practicing right over his head (this was in reference to the 'pitter patter' of 'not so little' feet). Forrest continues to be a gentle giant who is off the charts for growth and weight, as well as 'cuteness factor'.
Keiran is into money right now, he is figuring it all out. He went shopping with his Mom for baby Paisley's shower gift and helped pick out several items. He made a homemade card for the shower and there is a story to what is written on the inside of the card. On the way out of the store he found a penny, he was thrilled and felt rich indeed. He considered the penny and then gave it to his Mom with the instructions that she should give it to Leisha for baby Paisley from him and to tell her to use it to buy her whatever she wants.
Lilly loves the play food that we have at our house and I had added some plastic lap trays that the kids could use for art or eating or playing. Lilly involved Leah in her make believe, having Leah play the role of the child requiring a meal and Lilly playing the role of Mom. Leah was being very difficult, using every excuse she has ever heard as to why she didn't want to eat what was on her plate (stated in a very whiney voice) and Lilly was losing patience with her. She said 'I'm getting your father'. With this she whipped on a pair of glasses, changed her voice and there was an immediate transformation to the no nonsense father who quickly brought things under control, stating - 'you start eating now, young lady, it's good for you'.
Keiran was looking for quiet toys to take to church. He is becoming very imaginative and has an array of stuffed animals at home that have different personalities. He found a fuzzy stuffed alligator and brought it to me telling me - 'he doesn't really want to go to church but he's going anyway. I told him I won't let him get lost'.
I could go on and on but I hope these provided a few smiles.
Take care everyone.
Sunday, April 28, 2013
Friday, April 26, 2013
Be Prepared
I was a Brownie and then a Girl Guide in my earlier years and the motto for Brownies is 'be prepared'. I am using that motto as my excuse for being MIA on the blog this week.
Several things I am 'being prepared' for -
Right now these activities are taking all my energy (and more). After the weekend I will 'be prepared' to add a proper blog post :)
Take care everyone.
Several things I am 'being prepared' for -
- My Mom's 89th birthday on Sunday
- Performance reviews at work are back on, now with the old 'new' form - due May 8th - at noon sharp ;)
- Income tax deadline - have Mom's this yearin addition to ours
- Grad 'stuff' for Kenny - getting closer - May 22nd is the date
- A baby shower on Saturday afternoon for Leisha and baby girl Paisley, due June 27th, 2013, being held by some of their good friends
- Preparing for these packages to arrive, with their parents and Lilly, for the weekend - hopefully they will be with the suitcases and not ' in the suitcases' - it may depend on how the trip goes ;)
Right now these activities are taking all my energy (and more). After the weekend I will 'be prepared' to add a proper blog post :)
Take care everyone.
Saturday, April 20, 2013
A Thankful Heart
It has once again been a busy few days. I had my Herceptin infusion late Thursday afternoon followed by a quiet evening at home, thankful that I did not have to be out.
Friday morning before the course I was taking at Wellspring I had a phone call from my friend Marjorie, her and her husband were in the city for the weekend and they were going to go see her father's sister who was in a lodge. She asked me about my Mom and Rod's Mom. It was a surprise for both of us to find out that her aunt was in the same lodge as my Mom. Marjorie promised to try to visit both moms if they were able.
The course at Wellspring was a six hour course called 'The Healing Plan'. It was done by two of the physicians at BCSCF. An enjoyable course although six hours turned out to be a bit much for me, especially post Herceptin.
Some of the things I took away were that curing and healing were two different things. Curing is disease oriented and doesn't address the mind, heart or spirit. The word healing as used in the workshop is defined as 'to be made whole' and involves body, mind, heart and spirit. It starts from within. A key point was that healing can occur even when a cure is not achieved. A person can also be cured even though they may still require healing.
Healing helps to restore wellness, which is defined as the highest level of physical, emotional, mental, relational and spiritual wellness that a person is capable of.
The book that was used as the basis for the course is called 'Picking up the Pieces: Moving forward after surviving cancer' by Kathy Scalzo and Sherri Magee.
During the day I had the privilege of visiting with many of the people that were at the course, there was a variety of experiences and types of cancer and everyone was at a different stage in their experience. At lunch time we were encouraged to walk by the river alone, which I took advantage of.
There were several things that made me smile the last two days -
You would think that, after being at the triage desk in Emergency way back when and instructing a woman who I was sure was going to deliver imminently to proceed to the Maternity area only to be told that she had her baby six months ago, that I would know better than to ever assume. However, yesterday I found myself asking a woman who had come up to talk to me how long her hair had been growing back in. She looked to be slightly ahead of me, although mine is thicker. Thankfully, she was not offended but she did laugh. Her answer - since 2008!
I was reading a book about breast cancer survivors and a woman related a story of when her hair fell out about two weeks post first chemo. Her sister was a hairdresser. She marched into the salon, her head covered by a scarf. When she reached her sister she whipped off the scarf and said ' Bonnie, we need to talk about my last perm!' The woman Bonnie was working on hesitantly asked whether she was receiving the same type of perm. They all had a good laugh once it was all explained.
Caleb brought our granddog Charlie over last evening. It was just for a visit, not to be babysat however I don't think he had been told this. Charlie greeted both of us and let us fuss over him before he went to gather his toys all together. Once this was done he went looking for Kenny, who was out. He whined a little about that, then settled again with his toys. He was quite happy when Kenny did show up and spent the requisite amount of time with him. Then Caleb said it was time to go. Charlie started running the opposite way as the door and Caleb finally had to scoop him up in his arms and carry him out to the truck - Charlie is a springer spaniel, so not a small dog ;). I laughed to see Charlie's reluctance to go and the chase - it seems Charlie felt he was being short changed of his time to be spoiled at Grandma and Grandpa's house.
My biggest smiles came today when Marjorie phoned me and asked if I had spoken to my Mom. I hadn't yet. She told me that it turns out that my Mom and her aunt live right next to each other at the lodge and that her cousin had been praying that her Mom would find someone to talk to and spend time with. They were introduced by Marjorie and Brian yesterday and it looks like it may be a match made 'in heaven' ;).
Following our earlier morning conversation I had a wonderful lunch with Marjorie, Hazel, Brenda and Evelyn. It was good to laugh and share with them over a relaxing two hour period of time.
Did I mention 'God is good'?
I will close with a reading from April 18 from Jesus Calling -
I have designed you to need Me moment by moment. As your awareness of your neediness increases, so does your realization of my abundant sufficiency. I can meet every one of your needs without draining My resources at all. Approach my throne of grace with bold confidence, receiving My Peace with a thankful heart.
I close with a thankful heart.
Take care everyone.
Friday morning before the course I was taking at Wellspring I had a phone call from my friend Marjorie, her and her husband were in the city for the weekend and they were going to go see her father's sister who was in a lodge. She asked me about my Mom and Rod's Mom. It was a surprise for both of us to find out that her aunt was in the same lodge as my Mom. Marjorie promised to try to visit both moms if they were able.
The course at Wellspring was a six hour course called 'The Healing Plan'. It was done by two of the physicians at BCSCF. An enjoyable course although six hours turned out to be a bit much for me, especially post Herceptin.
Some of the things I took away were that curing and healing were two different things. Curing is disease oriented and doesn't address the mind, heart or spirit. The word healing as used in the workshop is defined as 'to be made whole' and involves body, mind, heart and spirit. It starts from within. A key point was that healing can occur even when a cure is not achieved. A person can also be cured even though they may still require healing.
Healing helps to restore wellness, which is defined as the highest level of physical, emotional, mental, relational and spiritual wellness that a person is capable of.
The book that was used as the basis for the course is called 'Picking up the Pieces: Moving forward after surviving cancer' by Kathy Scalzo and Sherri Magee.
During the day I had the privilege of visiting with many of the people that were at the course, there was a variety of experiences and types of cancer and everyone was at a different stage in their experience. At lunch time we were encouraged to walk by the river alone, which I took advantage of.
There were several things that made me smile the last two days -
You would think that, after being at the triage desk in Emergency way back when and instructing a woman who I was sure was going to deliver imminently to proceed to the Maternity area only to be told that she had her baby six months ago, that I would know better than to ever assume. However, yesterday I found myself asking a woman who had come up to talk to me how long her hair had been growing back in. She looked to be slightly ahead of me, although mine is thicker. Thankfully, she was not offended but she did laugh. Her answer - since 2008!
I was reading a book about breast cancer survivors and a woman related a story of when her hair fell out about two weeks post first chemo. Her sister was a hairdresser. She marched into the salon, her head covered by a scarf. When she reached her sister she whipped off the scarf and said ' Bonnie, we need to talk about my last perm!' The woman Bonnie was working on hesitantly asked whether she was receiving the same type of perm. They all had a good laugh once it was all explained.
Caleb brought our granddog Charlie over last evening. It was just for a visit, not to be babysat however I don't think he had been told this. Charlie greeted both of us and let us fuss over him before he went to gather his toys all together. Once this was done he went looking for Kenny, who was out. He whined a little about that, then settled again with his toys. He was quite happy when Kenny did show up and spent the requisite amount of time with him. Then Caleb said it was time to go. Charlie started running the opposite way as the door and Caleb finally had to scoop him up in his arms and carry him out to the truck - Charlie is a springer spaniel, so not a small dog ;). I laughed to see Charlie's reluctance to go and the chase - it seems Charlie felt he was being short changed of his time to be spoiled at Grandma and Grandpa's house.
My biggest smiles came today when Marjorie phoned me and asked if I had spoken to my Mom. I hadn't yet. She told me that it turns out that my Mom and her aunt live right next to each other at the lodge and that her cousin had been praying that her Mom would find someone to talk to and spend time with. They were introduced by Marjorie and Brian yesterday and it looks like it may be a match made 'in heaven' ;).
Following our earlier morning conversation I had a wonderful lunch with Marjorie, Hazel, Brenda and Evelyn. It was good to laugh and share with them over a relaxing two hour period of time.
Did I mention 'God is good'?
I will close with a reading from April 18 from Jesus Calling -
I have designed you to need Me moment by moment. As your awareness of your neediness increases, so does your realization of my abundant sufficiency. I can meet every one of your needs without draining My resources at all. Approach my throne of grace with bold confidence, receiving My Peace with a thankful heart.
I close with a thankful heart.
Take care everyone.
Thursday, April 18, 2013
Let's Try This Again!
On Tuesday evening about 9 p.m. I had a phone call from my Mom's nursing unit telling me that she was discharged and asking how soon could I be there in the morning to pick her up. When I asked about the arrangements with the lodge the nurse had no idea, she just reiterated that the doctor had said that my Mom could be discharged the next day. I asked if she would have the nurse clinician call me in the morning and then I was able to do something that I haven't had the most success at doing in the past. I put it aside. I told the Lord that it was in His hands and that I wasn't going to worry about it as there was nothing I could do overnight anyway.
In the morning about 8 a.m. the nurse clinician called me. She was surprised at the discharge order herself (I think my Mom had a lot to do with influencing the doctor in that regard). She told me that she would speak to the lodge and to the transition services person and that I could come in and help Mom get packed up in the meantime. I am getting most efficient at packing my mother's things by this point and it didn't take long to have everything in the car. The nurse clinician explained that the lodge was going to increase the amount of care received by my mom and that they had the med orders and discharge summary, all was set. With that mom was released to my care.
It was a beautiful sunny drive out to Okotoks. Mom hadn't been outside for just over a month and seemed to enjoy looking at nature, remarking on the mountains and the birds as we drove.
Once at the lodge we got her inside and settled back into her room. The aides were very good with her, realizing that she was quite anxious. We met with the new manager and I was very impressed. She is having posters made for mom's wall to help remind her to call the nurses if she wants to move about, she is not to walk or transfer yet unassisted. She is also going to provide a hospital bed for her. After the last time when a hospital bed was provided and then charged for without our knowledge of a fee, Mom and I both asked how much the bed would cost. The answer was absolutely nothing, it was definitely indicated. The manager is also arranging for a non-slip mat for the floor beside the bed to help give traction for when Mom does stand and transfer or walk and has suggested that she consider wearing hip protectors, we'll see what she thinks about that one ;).
I was able to talk to the manager alone and she was aware that Mom had isolated herself to her room for the most part. She will arrange for volunteers to go and talk with her one on one, she feels that once those relationships are established, when there are activities and the volunteers invite her to them she will be more likely to go.
The last strategy is that they have a walking program and they will put Mom into it. She will have someone walk with her with the two wheel walker on a daily basis and if she progresses well, she may be allowed to use the four wheel walker, after an OT assessment.
How is that for an answer to prayer? And I didn't even lose any sleep. ;) God is good!
Take care, everyone.
In the morning about 8 a.m. the nurse clinician called me. She was surprised at the discharge order herself (I think my Mom had a lot to do with influencing the doctor in that regard). She told me that she would speak to the lodge and to the transition services person and that I could come in and help Mom get packed up in the meantime. I am getting most efficient at packing my mother's things by this point and it didn't take long to have everything in the car. The nurse clinician explained that the lodge was going to increase the amount of care received by my mom and that they had the med orders and discharge summary, all was set. With that mom was released to my care.
It was a beautiful sunny drive out to Okotoks. Mom hadn't been outside for just over a month and seemed to enjoy looking at nature, remarking on the mountains and the birds as we drove.
Once at the lodge we got her inside and settled back into her room. The aides were very good with her, realizing that she was quite anxious. We met with the new manager and I was very impressed. She is having posters made for mom's wall to help remind her to call the nurses if she wants to move about, she is not to walk or transfer yet unassisted. She is also going to provide a hospital bed for her. After the last time when a hospital bed was provided and then charged for without our knowledge of a fee, Mom and I both asked how much the bed would cost. The answer was absolutely nothing, it was definitely indicated. The manager is also arranging for a non-slip mat for the floor beside the bed to help give traction for when Mom does stand and transfer or walk and has suggested that she consider wearing hip protectors, we'll see what she thinks about that one ;).
I was able to talk to the manager alone and she was aware that Mom had isolated herself to her room for the most part. She will arrange for volunteers to go and talk with her one on one, she feels that once those relationships are established, when there are activities and the volunteers invite her to them she will be more likely to go.
The last strategy is that they have a walking program and they will put Mom into it. She will have someone walk with her with the two wheel walker on a daily basis and if she progresses well, she may be allowed to use the four wheel walker, after an OT assessment.
How is that for an answer to prayer? And I didn't even lose any sleep. ;) God is good!
Take care, everyone.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Recharging
The weekend was good for me to re-charge and for the past two days I feel that my energy is on the way back up. That is a good feeling! :)
I had my oncologist appointment yesterday a.m. You know that you are further along and doing well in the treatment course when the oncology fellow is sent to see you, rather than the oncologist. I passed my labwork and my MUGA scan results allow me to continue receiving the Herceptin treatments. I only had a very slight drop in the LVEF and I still have a good margin before the level that they would decide to hold the Herceptin. That means that my next four Herceptin treatments have been booked out, starting with this Thursday and I will have another MUGA and oncologist appointment booked for three months from now before the last set.
With that out of the way I stopped in to see my mother but I still do not have any word on what the plans are for her yet. She is still pretty determined about the four wheel walker even though they are once again having her use a two wheeled one at the hospital. I am going to look around and see if I can find a two wheeled walker that has a seat and basket on it, preferably in black, and show it to her to see if it would be something that she would be agreeable to.
I didn't have too much to get at Costco so that went quickly and allowed for some lunch and rest before my afternoon appointments. The first was another quick visit for tea with Norman, we both took away some edibles; I think the ones I was sent home with were a little on the higher calorie side - chocolate caramel brownies and an apple scone this time. Kenny made quick work of the brownie I gave him, I will share mine with Rod and make it last a little longer.
The following appointment at BCSCF was good and I have homework. The topic was Stress Management and my homework involves listing activities that I have found relaxing and enjoyable in the past and choosing two of them to start doing regularly again, also looking at new activities that I might want to pursue. It also involves making a list of signs that indicate that I am getting stressed. Just the stress of doing the homework should help me identify some of those ;).
I didn't realize about the bombings at the Boston marathon until after my appointment. What sad news to come home to - so senseless. It is hard to imagine what would enter someone's mind that they would commit such a horrendous action. My prayers go out to all the victims and their families.
Today has been a quiet one at home.
Take care, everyone.
I had my oncologist appointment yesterday a.m. You know that you are further along and doing well in the treatment course when the oncology fellow is sent to see you, rather than the oncologist. I passed my labwork and my MUGA scan results allow me to continue receiving the Herceptin treatments. I only had a very slight drop in the LVEF and I still have a good margin before the level that they would decide to hold the Herceptin. That means that my next four Herceptin treatments have been booked out, starting with this Thursday and I will have another MUGA and oncologist appointment booked for three months from now before the last set.
With that out of the way I stopped in to see my mother but I still do not have any word on what the plans are for her yet. She is still pretty determined about the four wheel walker even though they are once again having her use a two wheeled one at the hospital. I am going to look around and see if I can find a two wheeled walker that has a seat and basket on it, preferably in black, and show it to her to see if it would be something that she would be agreeable to.
I didn't have too much to get at Costco so that went quickly and allowed for some lunch and rest before my afternoon appointments. The first was another quick visit for tea with Norman, we both took away some edibles; I think the ones I was sent home with were a little on the higher calorie side - chocolate caramel brownies and an apple scone this time. Kenny made quick work of the brownie I gave him, I will share mine with Rod and make it last a little longer.
The following appointment at BCSCF was good and I have homework. The topic was Stress Management and my homework involves listing activities that I have found relaxing and enjoyable in the past and choosing two of them to start doing regularly again, also looking at new activities that I might want to pursue. It also involves making a list of signs that indicate that I am getting stressed. Just the stress of doing the homework should help me identify some of those ;).
I didn't realize about the bombings at the Boston marathon until after my appointment. What sad news to come home to - so senseless. It is hard to imagine what would enter someone's mind that they would commit such a horrendous action. My prayers go out to all the victims and their families.
Today has been a quiet one at home.
Take care, everyone.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Assessing the Damage
Friday found me travelling to the University once again, this time to have another three month evaluation of how I am doing in the areas of aerobic fitness, strength and flexibility for the BEAUTY program. I really had to talk myself into going as I knew that my results were not going to be great and 'I am the type of person who' likes to 'ace' my tests. Once again, I used Robin's 'it is what it is' motto and told myself that no matter what the results, it would be good for me to know and I would be helping with research. It's hard to change what you don't acknowledge.
I really like the facilitator for the program, it felt like catching up with a good friend when I got there. She was totally non-judgmental and very supportive as we went through the various measurements and tests. Tamoxifen is not helping in the weight department but apparently I grew almost an inch in height ;). Core strength is down but not the strength in my arms and legs; better get doing some sit-ups. Flexibility took a beating since last time, once again, Tamoxifen and it's effects on the joints seems to be the culprit - I will have to work on my stretching to see if I can outwit it. I think what surprised me the most was my treadmill test. I actually did better on it than the last assessment three months ago and almost as well as I had done on the first assessment, which was at the beginning of chemo. Those treadmill sessions are paying off! She did have to stop me when my heartrate went over the max that had been calculated for me but I felt that I could have continued and that was a nice feeling.
The rest of the weekend has been fairly quiet. Rod went to Grandpa York's funeral in Saskatchewan with our friend Mark so Kenny and I were on our own. I was complaining via text to Rod this morning that the room service was really poor the last couple of days ;).
I continue to gradually work on my decluttering projects - most recently I have taken the top four areas that are bothering me and committed to spending at least 15 minutes a day on each area. It is surprising what can be done in just 15 minutes and it can motivate me to spend more time.
Tomorrow I have my oncologist appointment at 0800 so it will be an early morning with no room service once again. I will find out the results of the MUGA scan when I meet with her, if all is well, I will be booked for the next 4 Herceptin treatments to be followed by yet another MUGA. I am close to halfway through the Herceptin. I am going to make a list this evening of all the things I would like to discuss with the oncologist as the visits are usually brief and half the time my mind goes blank when she enters the room.
So that's it, not very exciting, but 'it is what it is' ;)
Take care everyone.
I really like the facilitator for the program, it felt like catching up with a good friend when I got there. She was totally non-judgmental and very supportive as we went through the various measurements and tests. Tamoxifen is not helping in the weight department but apparently I grew almost an inch in height ;). Core strength is down but not the strength in my arms and legs; better get doing some sit-ups. Flexibility took a beating since last time, once again, Tamoxifen and it's effects on the joints seems to be the culprit - I will have to work on my stretching to see if I can outwit it. I think what surprised me the most was my treadmill test. I actually did better on it than the last assessment three months ago and almost as well as I had done on the first assessment, which was at the beginning of chemo. Those treadmill sessions are paying off! She did have to stop me when my heartrate went over the max that had been calculated for me but I felt that I could have continued and that was a nice feeling.
The rest of the weekend has been fairly quiet. Rod went to Grandpa York's funeral in Saskatchewan with our friend Mark so Kenny and I were on our own. I was complaining via text to Rod this morning that the room service was really poor the last couple of days ;).
I continue to gradually work on my decluttering projects - most recently I have taken the top four areas that are bothering me and committed to spending at least 15 minutes a day on each area. It is surprising what can be done in just 15 minutes and it can motivate me to spend more time.
Tomorrow I have my oncologist appointment at 0800 so it will be an early morning with no room service once again. I will find out the results of the MUGA scan when I meet with her, if all is well, I will be booked for the next 4 Herceptin treatments to be followed by yet another MUGA. I am close to halfway through the Herceptin. I am going to make a list this evening of all the things I would like to discuss with the oncologist as the visits are usually brief and half the time my mind goes blank when she enters the room.
So that's it, not very exciting, but 'it is what it is' ;)
Take care everyone.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
This is the Day
The last few weeks have been tough going for me energy-wise.
I know that time will make the difference. Currently, I need to allow for twice the amount of rest for every period of activity; my best times to get anything done are mornings and evenings are basically a write off, with an early bedtime of about 8 p.m.
As I've written in previous posts I have learned to add rests to my day. I like the way the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation (BCSCF) words it - Plan, Prioritize and Pace in order to manage your energy.
This a.m. as I was waking up I was praying and giving the day to the Lord. I found today's reading in Jesus Calling to be very appropriate once again then as the day progressed, I will add some comments as I quote from today's reading -
This is the day that I have made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that I am pouring into this brief portion of your life.
I like the picture the words portray of the open hands and I like that this portion of life was referred to as brief, it helps with perspective.
Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the author of your circumstances.
Well, if I hadn't read that I may have been tempted today to complain about the weather, it is the middle of April and for most of the day we were in the midst of yet another snowstorm. My hairlength is a definite plus in this kind of weather though, it matters not whether the wind is blowing or if it is wet out, my 'style' remains unchanged ;).
I started the day by making up chili for the crockpot while catching up with Evelyn via Facebook messaging, followed by an hour of rest. My plan for today included a trip to the library, a few errands at the mall where the library is located, a visit with Mom and then a trip into work to collect a letter and sign some papers. I planned to follow this activity with a rest and then a treadmill session.This seemed like a do-able day and I managed to get it all in with the exception of the treadmill, I may still try to get that in this evening - or not ;).
The last few days I haven't been all that happy with my appearance, to the point that I would rather not have gone into work. With the exception of having a wonderful lunch with Wenda yesterday I haven't seen most of my co-workers for a while and I would have preferred going in looking and feeling better. I decided, as my co-worker Robin often reminds me, that 'it is what it is' and it could be worse, then put away my pride. I'm glad I did. I got lots of wonderful hugs and everyone lied through their teeth, even going so far as to comment on my 'sexy' look. They're good! ;).
The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them. This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.
To find Joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty-four hour segments. I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past. There is abundant Life in My Presence today.
When I arrived home, I had two phone calls from the unit that Mom is on. I was tired and maybe that was good as it probably came through in my voice and in the conversation. I didn't want to get bogged down in what was past in how her situation has been handled but I did want them to understand what my concerns about future plans for her were. Long story short is that they will not be sending her back to the lodge tomorrow morning as they had been considering, they will assess her better this time and make sure that the lodge is able to provide the care that she requires. If the lodge cannot provide this level of care, they will start the process to find a place that will so that hopefully she can get in and get settled and not have this back and forth all the time.
I am relieved and rejoicing in this day.
Take care everyone.
I know that time will make the difference. Currently, I need to allow for twice the amount of rest for every period of activity; my best times to get anything done are mornings and evenings are basically a write off, with an early bedtime of about 8 p.m.
As I've written in previous posts I have learned to add rests to my day. I like the way the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation (BCSCF) words it - Plan, Prioritize and Pace in order to manage your energy.
This a.m. as I was waking up I was praying and giving the day to the Lord. I found today's reading in Jesus Calling to be very appropriate once again then as the day progressed, I will add some comments as I quote from today's reading -
This is the day that I have made. Rejoice and be glad in it. Begin the day with open hands of faith, ready to receive all that I am pouring into this brief portion of your life.
I like the picture the words portray of the open hands and I like that this portion of life was referred to as brief, it helps with perspective.
Be careful not to complain about anything, even the weather, since I am the author of your circumstances.
Well, if I hadn't read that I may have been tempted today to complain about the weather, it is the middle of April and for most of the day we were in the midst of yet another snowstorm. My hairlength is a definite plus in this kind of weather though, it matters not whether the wind is blowing or if it is wet out, my 'style' remains unchanged ;).
I started the day by making up chili for the crockpot while catching up with Evelyn via Facebook messaging, followed by an hour of rest. My plan for today included a trip to the library, a few errands at the mall where the library is located, a visit with Mom and then a trip into work to collect a letter and sign some papers. I planned to follow this activity with a rest and then a treadmill session.This seemed like a do-able day and I managed to get it all in with the exception of the treadmill, I may still try to get that in this evening - or not ;).
The last few days I haven't been all that happy with my appearance, to the point that I would rather not have gone into work. With the exception of having a wonderful lunch with Wenda yesterday I haven't seen most of my co-workers for a while and I would have preferred going in looking and feeling better. I decided, as my co-worker Robin often reminds me, that 'it is what it is' and it could be worse, then put away my pride. I'm glad I did. I got lots of wonderful hugs and everyone lied through their teeth, even going so far as to comment on my 'sexy' look. They're good! ;).
The best way to handle unwanted situations is to thank Me for them. This act of faith frees you from resentment and frees Me to work My ways into the situation, so that good emerges from it.
To find Joy in this day, you must live within its boundaries. I knew what I was doing when I divided time into twenty-four hour segments. I understand human frailty, and I know that you can bear the weight of only one day at a time. Do not worry about tomorrow or get stuck in the past. There is abundant Life in My Presence today.
When I arrived home, I had two phone calls from the unit that Mom is on. I was tired and maybe that was good as it probably came through in my voice and in the conversation. I didn't want to get bogged down in what was past in how her situation has been handled but I did want them to understand what my concerns about future plans for her were. Long story short is that they will not be sending her back to the lodge tomorrow morning as they had been considering, they will assess her better this time and make sure that the lodge is able to provide the care that she requires. If the lodge cannot provide this level of care, they will start the process to find a place that will so that hopefully she can get in and get settled and not have this back and forth all the time.
I am relieved and rejoicing in this day.
Take care everyone.
Monday, April 8, 2013
The Heart of the Matter
I chose today's title for a few reasons. In my last post I mentioned that Saturday would be a celebration of the three birthdays that occurred in the past few weeks. We had a wonderful day. Rod and I worked around the house, I used my routine of activity interspersed with periods of rest, using the timer to keep me on track and a list of priorities to keep me focused. I find that I still get fairly short of breath if I exert myself very much. Caleb and Leisha arrived with our granddog Charlie a little early, they also brought two beautiful homemade birthday cakes, one chocolate and one white with strawberries. Caleb looked very proud but I think Leisha was responsible for making them ;). Charlie immediately went to check out his favorite toys, just like my other grands do. Jordan and Celia weren't long in arriving after that - both Celia and Leisha looked so beautiful with their long hair softly curling and falling on their shoulders. I really notice hair these days ;).
It was so nice to be together to celebrate. Rod spoiled Charlie - slipping him bits of the prime rib roast under the table when he thought we weren't looking. My Yorkshire puddings didn't rise but they still all seemed to disappear fairly quickly in spite of that. Happy Birthday was sung in our typical family fashion in as many keys (and off keys) as possible. We sat around and talked after the meal for a very long time. I feel so blessed by my growing family, I am very impressed by the ladies my sons have chosen. The heart of the matter is that I love them all and it is nice not to be outnumbered any longer by the men in the family.
Yesterday was a down day for me but Saturday was well worth it. I am not recounting this to complain, only to relate what my experience has been like with the continued treatments and after effects. I was very achy and fatigued all day, the peripheral neuropathy seems to act up more on days like this. I took it easy, once again enjoying the fact that there were no pressures on me to be up and about.
This morning was an early morning as I needed to be at the radiology department for my MUGA scan at 0800. I will continue to have these scans every three months for a while to ensure that the Herceptin is not/has not damaged my heart. I enjoyed my tech today, she noticed that I had had a birthday and commented on it, explaining that she had twins that had turned 14 on April 1st. Her boy immediately wanted to write his exam for his Learner's permit and we discussed being Mom's of new driver's. She efficiently injected me with the material to prepare my red blood cells to accept the tracer while we talked, drew the blood, added the tracer and then 'returned' the blood back to me. Yes, once again I am 'radiant'. I find I am much more attuned to techs during tests nowadays, trying to read them to see if anything is amiss. There were a couple of things different with how today's scan went, whether they meant anything or not will remain to be seen. This is my 'new normal' where tests are concerned, I guess. The heart of the matter is that there is no use worrying about it, I will discuss the results with the oncologist next Monday.
Afterwards I went to see my mother at the hospital and then returned home. Rod is off every second Monday and was home when I arrived. After my walk on the treadmill we started making lunch together however my morning was catching up to me and Rod ended by finishing the preparations up just as Wade and Gayle arrived. Gayle said it was still my birthday week, who was I to argue ;). They took Rod out to shop while I napped for a bit and then they brought coffee back with them and we all sat around visiting.
The heart of the matter is that I could get used to this, maybe all birthday's should be celebrated for the whole week?
Take care everyone.
It was so nice to be together to celebrate. Rod spoiled Charlie - slipping him bits of the prime rib roast under the table when he thought we weren't looking. My Yorkshire puddings didn't rise but they still all seemed to disappear fairly quickly in spite of that. Happy Birthday was sung in our typical family fashion in as many keys (and off keys) as possible. We sat around and talked after the meal for a very long time. I feel so blessed by my growing family, I am very impressed by the ladies my sons have chosen. The heart of the matter is that I love them all and it is nice not to be outnumbered any longer by the men in the family.
Yesterday was a down day for me but Saturday was well worth it. I am not recounting this to complain, only to relate what my experience has been like with the continued treatments and after effects. I was very achy and fatigued all day, the peripheral neuropathy seems to act up more on days like this. I took it easy, once again enjoying the fact that there were no pressures on me to be up and about.
This morning was an early morning as I needed to be at the radiology department for my MUGA scan at 0800. I will continue to have these scans every three months for a while to ensure that the Herceptin is not/has not damaged my heart. I enjoyed my tech today, she noticed that I had had a birthday and commented on it, explaining that she had twins that had turned 14 on April 1st. Her boy immediately wanted to write his exam for his Learner's permit and we discussed being Mom's of new driver's. She efficiently injected me with the material to prepare my red blood cells to accept the tracer while we talked, drew the blood, added the tracer and then 'returned' the blood back to me. Yes, once again I am 'radiant'. I find I am much more attuned to techs during tests nowadays, trying to read them to see if anything is amiss. There were a couple of things different with how today's scan went, whether they meant anything or not will remain to be seen. This is my 'new normal' where tests are concerned, I guess. The heart of the matter is that there is no use worrying about it, I will discuss the results with the oncologist next Monday.
Afterwards I went to see my mother at the hospital and then returned home. Rod is off every second Monday and was home when I arrived. After my walk on the treadmill we started making lunch together however my morning was catching up to me and Rod ended by finishing the preparations up just as Wade and Gayle arrived. Gayle said it was still my birthday week, who was I to argue ;). They took Rod out to shop while I napped for a bit and then they brought coffee back with them and we all sat around visiting.
The heart of the matter is that I could get used to this, maybe all birthday's should be celebrated for the whole week?
Take care everyone.
Friday, April 5, 2013
Aging a year in a week
This week was my 'birthday week'. I had never heard that term until my friend Jacqui decided that she wanted more than a birth day and decided to celebrate a birthday week. The concept quickly caught on with many of the people I know ... and why not ;).
On Monday evening Rod and I drove out to Crowsnest Pass to exchange trucks with Justin. I was honored to hear that, since I was going, Justin was going to bring Keiran with him. The drive out was incredible. Rod and I had spent the better part of the last two weeks apart so we took the time to catch up on what each other had been doing, but mostly on what we had been thinking and talking to others about. It was still light as we set out and we were treated to a wonderful display as the sun slowly set over the snow capped mountains. Breathtaking! When we drove into the Tim Horton's parking lot we spied Justin's truck waiting there already. What joy to see the ear to ear grin on Keiran's little face when he saw us drive up! He was wearing a ball cap, just like Dad, and it appeared that he was thoroughly enjoying being 'big boy' enough to have made the trip with him. When we got out of the trucks he was talking and laughing at the same time and as we entered the coffee shop he couldn't wait to demonstrate how well (and high) he could now jump. This was followed by a demonstration of how well he could twirl around. After that he needed the milk Justin had bought for him and he made short work of it. Once done he wanted to remove his sweatshirt so he could show us the T-shirt that the Easter Bunny had brought him. Much better for his teeth than chocolate, smart Easter Bunny ;)
The trip back was in the dark and I found it harder than the trip there fatigue-wise but I did enjoy the conversation we had and I would not have missed making the trip with Rod for anything. It was nice to know that, if needed, I could take the next day to recover. And it was needed. I have no words to describe the bone deep fatigue that I felt on Tuesday. I did make a trip to the hospital to see my Mom but found that after half an hour I needed to leave. She did remember that it was my birthday, she didn't get the location where I was born correct but she definitely had the day right.
I had so many birthday wishes sent via Facebook, texts and emails as well as phone calls that I am feeling well thought of and loved, a very good way to feel :). A highlight was the birthday serenade first thing in the morning from a sweet little choir in Cranbrook - they have great potential. I also received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my mother-in-law. Wonderful day!
Wednesday was an early morning with a two hour appointment with a nurse practitioner at the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation. She is a nurse that I worked with for many years in both DaySurgery and the Pre-Admission Clinic. Her role then was as the surgical oncology nurse and she was very good at it - and still is. She told me I was the last person that she would have thought she would be seeing as a patient there. I had filled out a questionnaire and as we talked and I caught her up on my life she started leafing through it to see my various answers. She stopped me at one point and told me that she saw that I was still the 'master of understatement'. I wasn't quite sure what she meant. She observed that I had marked my stress level as a 6 on a 0 - 10 scale. I said yes. She then stated that with everything that had been going on in my life she felt it might be more accurately represented as a 10+. Hmmm. We reviewed diet, exercise, relationships, leisure activites, social support and physical effects of chemo, radiation and Tamoxifen (short and long term) and then she gave me a program to follow customized to what we had discussed. A very beneficial two hour session! I will meet with her again in 3 and then 6 months for follow-up sessions.
After that appointment I had tea with Norman. A real treat, and not just because of the baked goods he brought to share. He had been very observant at our last meeting and this time he had two generous pieces of the decadent salted brownies ready for me to take home. So much for the diet recommendations from the previous appointment but, after all, it is my birthday week ;).
Yesterday, I made a good start on the de cluttering process. I gathered up all the income tax receipts and T4's etc. for Rod, myself and my mother and got them all organized. I also managed to shred enough old papers to fill a big black garbage bag which made me feel very productive - doesn't take much these days. In addition I managed to get in a few loads of wash as well as a treadmill session.
We were sad to hear of the passing of 'Grandpa York' yesterday - an incredible man of God who has been a part of our lives for as long as I can remember. A gentle giant of a man, not just in physical stature but also in all things spiritual. He leaves a great legacy. Rod and I were sitting reminiscing about him together last evening. Rod turned to me and said, "I wonder if Grandma York is serving Grandpa ice cream yet?" I sure hope so.
This a.m. Rod and I met my breast cancer buddy from Saskatchewan and her husband for breakfast. I'm wondering what the waitress was thinking with the two of us at the table sporting our spring hairstyles - more head than hair still for both of us. It was great to see them and to share common experiences. I loved that she just laughed when I could not come up with the words I wanted several times in the conversation. She gets it.
I went out to the lodge to get my Mom some more of her things following our breakfast. I smiled once again when I saw that she is back to using bowls and cups to hold her various pieces of jewelry, old habits die hard. When I arrived at the hospital with her suitcase of things she brightened up and announced to the nurse that she was going home today. It was difficult to tell her that this was not the case. She was eating her lunch and she is tiring of being there. She told me that she was upset - two nurses had told her they would bring her sugar for her applesauce and she was still waiting. I looked at an open package of sugar on her tray and asked her about it. She told me it had been for her coffee. At the same moment of realization we looked at each other, I said 'you don't take sugar in your coffee' and we laughed together.
Tomorrow we will truly celebrate the birthdays that were neglected the last few weeks. Roast beef and gravy, mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, and cake. OK, we'll throw some veggies and salad in too!
Take care, everyone.
On Monday evening Rod and I drove out to Crowsnest Pass to exchange trucks with Justin. I was honored to hear that, since I was going, Justin was going to bring Keiran with him. The drive out was incredible. Rod and I had spent the better part of the last two weeks apart so we took the time to catch up on what each other had been doing, but mostly on what we had been thinking and talking to others about. It was still light as we set out and we were treated to a wonderful display as the sun slowly set over the snow capped mountains. Breathtaking! When we drove into the Tim Horton's parking lot we spied Justin's truck waiting there already. What joy to see the ear to ear grin on Keiran's little face when he saw us drive up! He was wearing a ball cap, just like Dad, and it appeared that he was thoroughly enjoying being 'big boy' enough to have made the trip with him. When we got out of the trucks he was talking and laughing at the same time and as we entered the coffee shop he couldn't wait to demonstrate how well (and high) he could now jump. This was followed by a demonstration of how well he could twirl around. After that he needed the milk Justin had bought for him and he made short work of it. Once done he wanted to remove his sweatshirt so he could show us the T-shirt that the Easter Bunny had brought him. Much better for his teeth than chocolate, smart Easter Bunny ;)
The trip back was in the dark and I found it harder than the trip there fatigue-wise but I did enjoy the conversation we had and I would not have missed making the trip with Rod for anything. It was nice to know that, if needed, I could take the next day to recover. And it was needed. I have no words to describe the bone deep fatigue that I felt on Tuesday. I did make a trip to the hospital to see my Mom but found that after half an hour I needed to leave. She did remember that it was my birthday, she didn't get the location where I was born correct but she definitely had the day right.
I had so many birthday wishes sent via Facebook, texts and emails as well as phone calls that I am feeling well thought of and loved, a very good way to feel :). A highlight was the birthday serenade first thing in the morning from a sweet little choir in Cranbrook - they have great potential. I also received a beautiful bouquet of flowers from my mother-in-law. Wonderful day!
Wednesday was an early morning with a two hour appointment with a nurse practitioner at the Breast Cancer Supportive Care Foundation. She is a nurse that I worked with for many years in both DaySurgery and the Pre-Admission Clinic. Her role then was as the surgical oncology nurse and she was very good at it - and still is. She told me I was the last person that she would have thought she would be seeing as a patient there. I had filled out a questionnaire and as we talked and I caught her up on my life she started leafing through it to see my various answers. She stopped me at one point and told me that she saw that I was still the 'master of understatement'. I wasn't quite sure what she meant. She observed that I had marked my stress level as a 6 on a 0 - 10 scale. I said yes. She then stated that with everything that had been going on in my life she felt it might be more accurately represented as a 10+. Hmmm. We reviewed diet, exercise, relationships, leisure activites, social support and physical effects of chemo, radiation and Tamoxifen (short and long term) and then she gave me a program to follow customized to what we had discussed. A very beneficial two hour session! I will meet with her again in 3 and then 6 months for follow-up sessions.
After that appointment I had tea with Norman. A real treat, and not just because of the baked goods he brought to share. He had been very observant at our last meeting and this time he had two generous pieces of the decadent salted brownies ready for me to take home. So much for the diet recommendations from the previous appointment but, after all, it is my birthday week ;).
Yesterday, I made a good start on the de cluttering process. I gathered up all the income tax receipts and T4's etc. for Rod, myself and my mother and got them all organized. I also managed to shred enough old papers to fill a big black garbage bag which made me feel very productive - doesn't take much these days. In addition I managed to get in a few loads of wash as well as a treadmill session.
We were sad to hear of the passing of 'Grandpa York' yesterday - an incredible man of God who has been a part of our lives for as long as I can remember. A gentle giant of a man, not just in physical stature but also in all things spiritual. He leaves a great legacy. Rod and I were sitting reminiscing about him together last evening. Rod turned to me and said, "I wonder if Grandma York is serving Grandpa ice cream yet?" I sure hope so.
This a.m. Rod and I met my breast cancer buddy from Saskatchewan and her husband for breakfast. I'm wondering what the waitress was thinking with the two of us at the table sporting our spring hairstyles - more head than hair still for both of us. It was great to see them and to share common experiences. I loved that she just laughed when I could not come up with the words I wanted several times in the conversation. She gets it.
I went out to the lodge to get my Mom some more of her things following our breakfast. I smiled once again when I saw that she is back to using bowls and cups to hold her various pieces of jewelry, old habits die hard. When I arrived at the hospital with her suitcase of things she brightened up and announced to the nurse that she was going home today. It was difficult to tell her that this was not the case. She was eating her lunch and she is tiring of being there. She told me that she was upset - two nurses had told her they would bring her sugar for her applesauce and she was still waiting. I looked at an open package of sugar on her tray and asked her about it. She told me it had been for her coffee. At the same moment of realization we looked at each other, I said 'you don't take sugar in your coffee' and we laughed together.
Tomorrow we will truly celebrate the birthdays that were neglected the last few weeks. Roast beef and gravy, mashed potatoes, Yorkshire pudding, and cake. OK, we'll throw some veggies and salad in too!
Take care, everyone.
Monday, April 1, 2013
No Fooling
Today is April Fool's Day. I think that one of the biggest jokes on me this year is that both my driver's license and my passport have to be renewed, today was the last day to renew my driver's license. I waited until the last minute because I wanted to benefit from every last millimeter of hair growth before I had to submit to having the picture taken that will represent me on my license for the next five years.
The registry office wasn't too busy so I was able to get to the counter with a 'nice young man' (I really must be getting old when I think of the people who help me in this way). We went through all the information, he made me take an eye test which I thankfully passed. Then he took me over to the camera for the picture. I asked where to look and then smiled. He immediately, and with a straight face, told me I could not smile as this was a 'government office and there is no joy allowed here'. That made me smile bigger, to which he added 'No fooling'. We managed to get a picture that I could live with and I left with my temporary license, the permanent one to arrive in the mail within the next couple of weeks.
I awoke to the news that my daughter-in-law won the contest that so many of us were working hard to help her win. I tried to stay up until midnight last night to see the results but couldn't do it. When Rod told me about it this a.m., my first response was 'No fooling?' A hard day to learn that you have won a contest, it would be difficult at first to know if it was true. It turns out it is true and we are very happy for her.
I saw this video on Facebook today and was at first a little alarmed as to what I might be encountering on my next flight -
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BQv0VwwVwKU
Following my trip to the registry office I made my trip to Costco and now that the groceries are put away and lunch has been had I am once again in my recliner. I still find it a strange sensation to have the ends of my toes and fingers feel numb and tingly, like coming in from the cold, they are distracting me as I write. I can ignore them better when I am out and about however I have orders to have a nap every afternoon - no fooling!
Take care, everyone.
The registry office wasn't too busy so I was able to get to the counter with a 'nice young man' (I really must be getting old when I think of the people who help me in this way). We went through all the information, he made me take an eye test which I thankfully passed. Then he took me over to the camera for the picture. I asked where to look and then smiled. He immediately, and with a straight face, told me I could not smile as this was a 'government office and there is no joy allowed here'. That made me smile bigger, to which he added 'No fooling'. We managed to get a picture that I could live with and I left with my temporary license, the permanent one to arrive in the mail within the next couple of weeks.
I awoke to the news that my daughter-in-law won the contest that so many of us were working hard to help her win. I tried to stay up until midnight last night to see the results but couldn't do it. When Rod told me about it this a.m., my first response was 'No fooling?' A hard day to learn that you have won a contest, it would be difficult at first to know if it was true. It turns out it is true and we are very happy for her.
I saw this video on Facebook today and was at first a little alarmed as to what I might be encountering on my next flight -
http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BQv0VwwVwKU
Following my trip to the registry office I made my trip to Costco and now that the groceries are put away and lunch has been had I am once again in my recliner. I still find it a strange sensation to have the ends of my toes and fingers feel numb and tingly, like coming in from the cold, they are distracting me as I write. I can ignore them better when I am out and about however I have orders to have a nap every afternoon - no fooling!
Take care, everyone.
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