How Does Your Garden Grow?

At long last I am going to add some pictures of my garden.

First, I thought I should explain a bit about the history. We moved into this house in the summer of 1998. At the beginning of the year, we had no intention of moving and were not actively looking for a new house. One of Rod's customers came to his shop and told him he was selling his house and he felt that Rod should buy it. Rod laughed and told him we weren't interested in moving right at this time. He asked him to come and bring me for a look but Rod declined. Apparently, this customer was so sure that it was our house that he wrote a condition into the sale that we had first rights of refusal. It was a very hot real estate market that year but by June he still had not sold the house and came back to speak to Rod. I agreed to go and see the house and, after talking to a real estate agent we decided to buy and therefore, sell our house. Our house sold in the first week, but it wasn't without incident prior to the sale with a flooded basement and lots of work to replace carpeting, etc., another year when there was lots of June rain.

When we moved into the house we realized that the former owner didn't have much imagination in the area of the yard. The perimeter by the fence had about one foot borders but most had a material like roofing tiles laid into them to stop weed growth and they were bare of vegetation. There were two areas that were south facing where they grew beautiful tomatoes and two large evergreen trees but that was it as far as any planting in the backyard. There was also a slope downward toward the back fence that made it difficult to mow the lawn.

Jump forward to about three years ago when our neighbour decided it was time to build a new fence. In order to work with his plans we would need a retaining wall. Rod had another customer who did concrete work and so he was contracted to do that part, with the help of our sons Caleb and Jordan. While he was working he was taking stock of our yard and told Rod that he had some ideas for it and would Rod mind if he did a little work on it, Rod told him to go ahead, our price was the cost of the materials.

My yard was a mudpit through that winter and spring and I kept my curtains closed so I didn't have to look out on it. As soon as the snow melted our friend went to work, again with the help of Rod and the boys. Rod, Caleb and Kenny built the deck. Rod's friend divided the yard into different areas, like rooms and as he worked the yard began to take shape. That summer the concrete was poured and stamped, some trees were planted, sod was laid, a few hostas were planted in the shade area and finally a back fence was built.

After Concrete poured, before fence

Stamping in concrete

We have sod - and weeds

Last year our plans were sidetracked somewhat by my surgery and treatment but we planted some grasses around the rocks that had been brought in and tried to keep the weeds down. We added a few shrubs and some bargain patio furniture. This year the grasses are doing wonderfully and we have added a few more perennials to build on what was done. The back of the yard is looking pretty good, we are now going to focus on the two sides of the house, one will be more of a play area for the grandkids and the other side will hopefully eventually have a hot tub on the concrete pad that was built for it, as well as a sitting area that will have a heater, a bench, some stools and a tall table made from an old wine barrel - hopefully a nice place to sit and visit over after dinner coffee.

 Progress, still lots to do but we are very happy with how it is taking shape and very thankful for the vision of Rod's customer and his willingness to do the work.

Take care, everyone

Hosta Bed

Our chiminea, small patio

Some grasses

Add caption

Three of my hanging planters

Moving on

So much has happened since my last post.

It seems the date of June 20th will continue to be memorable each year. Two years ago I got my second esophageal biopsy results back that day, last year it was the breast cancer diagnosis and this year it will be remembered for the flooding in southern Alberta.

It was quite something to drive to and from my Herceptin treatment last Thursday and see the difference in the level of the Bow River in just a few hours. There are many incredible stories, pictures and videos out there of the flooding situation. Our house did not suffer any damage or power outages and our family are all well. We are very thankful. The city is now moving on towards recovery and restoration, an incredible place to live with so many inspiring people.

The Herceptin continues to have it's side effects with each treatment but as of last one only 15 more weeks to go. I am very hopeful that many of my aches and pains will go away once that treatment is complete but in the meantime I am moving on and trying to make my days as normal as possible, some days I am more successful at that than others.

I will officially start back to work the week of July 8th. It will be a busy week with two half days of work, a MUGA scan and an MRI in addition to my new hobby of gardening and getting in the requisite exercise.

We are waiting for the arrival of Paisley, tomorrow she is 40 weeks so she is welcome to introduce herself anytime now, she has done well to stay put during the flooding but I'm sure her dad and especially her mom think it's time for her to move on.

Today is a dentist appointment for Kenny, then a quick touch base with Norman. Tonight Rod has hockey so it will be an early supper, then tomorrow I am looking forward to meeting Lilly, Keiran and Forrest's Grandma Kass while she has a layover at the airport on her way home. After that we have a lovely young couple who are getting married very soon coming over for the evening.

Time to move on to the shower and get this day started.

Take care everyone.

Time Flies

This week has gone by in a blur so far. I continue to have hopes of posting pictures of my garden, I did weed diligently on the weekend but it has been raining fairly consistently since, the grass is growing and needs some grooming in order to show off it's best side and the weeds are loving the rain, possibly even more than my other plants are. I will get there. The reading in 'Jesus Calling' this a.m. was once again appropriate when it comes to trying to control my house and garden this week (most weeks if I'm honest ;)

I am the firm foundation on which you can dance and sing and celebrate My Presence. This is My high and holy calling for you; receive it as a precious gift. Glorifying and enjoying me is a higher priority than maintaining a tidy, structured life. Give up your striving to keep everything under control - an impossible task and a waste of precious energy.

My guidance for each of my children is unique. That's why listening to Me is so vital for your well-being. Let Me prepare you for the day that awaits you and point you in the right direction ...

I have been into work each morning so far this week, yesterday afternoon I went out and saw my mother. She really does have an incredibly black and blue eye, nothing subtle about it.

Last evening the BEAUTY program had a party to celebrate two years of giving guidance and support for staying active and healthy through breast cancer treatment. There was a great turnout and it was good to see people I knew and meet others I did not. We all left with a gift bag from their generous sponsors.

This afternoon was a trip to the dentist after I left work. Did I mention that I continue to get hair comments? ;) The other 'c' word is curly now so I either get a comment that it's cute or that it's so curly. There was a bit of an awkward moment when a dental assistant who didn't know about the past year saw me walk past and while she was with another patient asked me why my hair was so curly now. I blamed chemo, she didn't seem taken aback or anything just commented on how interesting it was that chemo did that to some people. My teeth/mouth are doing great by the way :)

Tomorrow is already the one year anniversary of the breast cancer diagnosis. I will be getting my Herceptin infusion again tomorrow which somehow seems appropriate as I celebrated other anniversaries in the chemo area this year. I also received my MRI date this week and I should be able to remember it as it is Caleb's birthday. That week will be a MUGA scan on the Monday, the MRI on the Wednesday and then the following Monday I will have labwork and once again visit with the oncologist to see if I'm good to go for the last set of Herceptin infusions.

Time flies

Take care everyone

My Favorite Fathers

Today is Father's Day. This day has gotten easier for me as time has passed but the initial ones just after my own father died when I was fourteen were difficult ones for me and I am always cognizant of others who have lost loved ones when special days such as this come around.

My Dad was the best Dad ever! To see the love in his eyes when he looked at me was my world. I remember watching an Oprah Winfrey interview with Maya Angelou where they were discussing Maya's book 'The Bluest Eye' and Maya made a statement to the effect that 'every child deserved to see their parent's eyes light up with love when they walked into the room'. I knew that with my father. He may not have been there physically for the milestones in my life after that age but in many ways I am who I am today because of who he was, his love for me and what he taught me.

My father used to leave early in the morning for his work but if I happened to get up early enough I would always find him kneeling beside the rocking chair in our living room, praying for us and others. This might make you think that he was a serious man - yes, he was serious about his relationship with God - but he was one of the happiest and friendliest people I ever knew (very much like the man I was lucky enough to marry). Every Sunday morning and evening were Mom's meals off, Dad did the cooking. He would sing while he cooked, which brings more fond memories along with the pictures in my mind of stacks of hot buttered toast or pancakes and the special milkshakes he  made for those suppers that we would enjoy on our TV trays as we watched 'Walt Disney'.

I was fortunate to have other men give me guidance in my life as fathers after he passed. As mentioned I have been/am very blessed to marry a man that shares so many of my favorite characteristics and qualities of my father. It has been an incredible journey watching him grow into his own role as father - first to our own four boys and then extending that role to many others and also into the role of grandfather.

It is a real joy to now be able to watch our own boys as they begin their own fatherhood or grow toward fatherhood through being great uncles first, taking that unconditional love their father extended to them and demonstrating it in turn to others. I am so proud of them and so privileged to have the opportunity to watch them go through these stages in their lives.

A special memory that will always stand out in my mind is the second time Justin and Leah brought Lilly to our home to see us. Rod was so excited. The minute she walked through the front door Rod was down on one knee with his arms extended out to her and without hesitation she ran right into them. There could be no doubt in her mind of her welcome.

Another favorite father that I think deserves a special mention today is one that has commented many times on my blog as 'The Blog Fodder'. He has been like a big brother to Rod and I this year. I know he has experienced first hand supporting his own wife through cancer while being a father to his children and he was one of the first to reach out to Rod last summer and then to me. He has been there in the background encouraging, rejoicing and supporting - whatever the situation required. Even though he lives far away I see how much he loves and supports his own children and many others like us. He has a very compassionate heart indeed, a father's heart.

Rod enjoyed his Father's Day breakfast in bed this a.m. and that is where I find myself now, having taken his 'father's day nap' for him. I'd do anything for that man ;). Time to get up and go tell him I love him.

Take care everyone.

Hair Again

This will be a quick catch up post on my week, it has been a busy one.

I picked the title as I made an appointment for my Mom to have her hair done. The hairdresser that was so handy at the lodge quit about a month ago and Mom really misses having her weekly hair appointments with her, it really made her week to have her hair done and know she was looking good. I found a place close to where I live that does roller sets, yesterday afternoon I picked Mom up and brought her in for her appointment. At first the hairdresser thought I was her customer and she looked a little shocked as I'm sure she wondered why I would need a cut and how in the world she was going to get rollers into my hair ;). I introduced her to Mom and then sat nearby and visited with them through Mom's appointment. Mom was initially apprehensive when she saw the picture in the washroom of a very 'out there' hairstyle, shaved in the back, asymmetric in the front, complete with pink and blue streaks highlighted. She kept asking if it was really necessary to have the cut and then kept making sure she wouldn't go too short. At the end of the appointment she was very pleased with the outcome.

I have gone into work two mornings this week, this a.m. I was at one of the hospitals for a demonstration of an application. I saw several people I have not seen in a year and was told by one that she really liked my haircut. When I was sitting with Mom yesterday I realized that I had not been in a hair salon since August 2012, that was quite the haircut ;). I have saved considerable money on hair and hair products since then.

I want to do a post soon on my back garden. I want to add some pictures but have some weeds to contend with first and it has rained the last couple of days. Sunday is supposed to be a sunny day so I will aim to get the pictures taken then.

When I got home this afternoon there was a call waiting for me to tell me that Mom had fallen during the night. They felt she was OK but had hit her eye. I was telling Rod on Sunday that I was getting concerned that she might fall again as a few times that day she took off the brake on the wheelchair instead of putting it on. Mom is so independent that she has been refusing to call the staff for help in getting up and to and from the washroom, especially at night. I hope this little scare makes her extra careful and the staff extra vigilant.

Kenny wrote his first diploma exam yesterday, part B of that one is on Tuesday and then he will only have the Biology diploma to write before he is done. After that it's a brief vacation and then to work, for both of us ;)

I will leave you with a Keiran quote. After they were here last weekend he told his mother that -
Next time I want to stay at Grandma Laura's forever - like three weeks!

Take care, everyone

Celebrating

It has once again been a very busy past few days.

My mother in law's 87th birthday was on Friday. My sister in law decided it would be a great idea to surprise her on Saturday, June 8th. It has been very hard to surprise her in the past but we were all game and so the planning began.

Friday was my lunch with Liz. It was another two hour lunch where we caught up on everything, we were able to sit out on the patio at the restaurant, their patio was set up beautifully for being outside with cabana like enclosures around the tables to block the sun and/or wind as needed. The featured salad was a Prawn Quinoa combination which we both chose and enjoyed thoroughly. Nice way to start the weekend.

I had a lot of errands to run after lunch and had made a list during the morning as I was working around the house. I told Liz that anyone following me around or listening to my thoughts that morning would wonder about me and ADHD. I would start a task, think of something else I needed to do and get distracted by that and so on, all the time adding things I needed to pick up to the list in my head as I worked.

Saturday a.m. Leah facebook messaged me that they had decided that they were all coming to the surprise party so I set to making up beds. Caleb and Leisha came over to our house to drive out to the party with us and brought Charlie with them. Just as we drove up to my brother in law's house, Jordan and Celia drove up also so our family was all present and accounted for. We were able to truly surprise Mom B, it was wonderful to celebrate her and wonderful to have so many able to come. The weather cooperated beautifully the whole afternoon.

Grandma B and Keiran blowing out candles

That evening after supper and getting grandkids to bed etc. I still had to make up a poster board about Kenny for church on Sunday. We celebrated the six new graduates with a special service and lunch. Justin and Leah stayed for that before driving home Sunday afternoon.

All of this activity was good for me as it kept my mind off of other things. June 8th was my one year anniversary of my mammogram/ultrasound/biopsy that started all of this for me. I was booked for a mammogram this a.m. at the same time as last year's mammogram, so much was similar to last year including the weather. Robin was supporting in the background with texts and emails and I read this entry from 'Jesus Calling' prior to going in, which was also very helpful -

Rest in Me, My child. Give your mind a break from planning and trying to anticipate what will happen. Pray continually, asking My Spirit to take charge of the details of this day. Remember that you are on a journey with Me. When you try to peer into the future and plan for every possibility, you ignore your constant Companion who sustains you moment by moment. As you gaze anxiously into the distance, you don't even feel the strong grip of My hand holding yours. How foolish you are, My child! 
Remembrance of Me is a daily discipline. Never lose sight of My Presence with you. This will keep you resting in Me all day, every day.

I was called in for the mammogram, she even managed to some of the mastectomy side for pictures. After the first pictures she told me to go back to my cubicle but that she wanted the radiologist to see the pictures so not to change. Very similar to last year's experience. As I waited, others came and went, a few were taken over to ultrasound. The tech came back and told me she needed more pictures and took me to a different room with a slightly different machine set up with the smaller plate for increased magnification. I tried to stay calm and 'rest'. She told me there were micro-calcifications on the left side. I was told I may also need an ultrasound. After that set of pictures I was once again told to go back to my cubicle and wait, but not to change. I read as more ladies came and went. After being there two hours, the radiologist had compared this years pictures of the left side to last year's and the message the tech came back to me with was - You are free to go. Have a wonderful day and we will see you next year!

What a relief. I couldn't help comparing it to last year and wondering how different this year might have been if that was the message I had been given last year.

When I got home I did a bit of gardening, Wade and Gayle came over with coffee and then went to Costco with us for groceries, once home it was quickly time for me to head to my radiation oncologist appointment.
She was pleased with how my skin is healing and we talked a bit about the 'new normal' stuff. She reassured me that it is my job to report symptoms and the oncologist's job to decide what needed to be done once reported. She is submitting a referral to a plastic surgeon to discuss reconstruction. She said it is typical to wait 6 - 8 months for that appointment and then, if reconstruction is decided upon, to wait another 6 - 8 months for the surgery. My next appointment with her was also booked for a year from now.

So, things are moving along in this 'new normal'. I feel like big progress was made today.

Take care, everyone.

It could be worse

I thought I should catch you up on some of my activities during the last week.

The birthday lunch for Ev's birthday was wonderful. We both splurged and had a lobster and shrimp combo plate, substituting extra vegetables for the rice. The service was excellent and when we went to go Ev asked for a container to put the rest of her meal in. The waitress added a couple of the cheese biscuits to the container for her as a treat, knowing it was her birthday and that she had liked the biscuits.

We drove out to see my Mom after that and talked all the way there and back. It was a wonderful time, there are certainly worse ways to spend an afternoon ;)

At my Herceptin treatment later that afternoon I was thankful to be taken in early rather than the usual late for my appointment. The nurse I had was funny - she kept using the word cute to describe my shoes, hair and jacket. It is a word I have tried to get away from all my life but it appears that I am destined to have it attached to me and/or my apparel. The story behind that is that when we were growing up people would stop and comment to my sister how beautiful or pretty she was and then, as an aside, they would turn to me and say 'you are cute, too.' Could be worse.

I was also thankful for my port after having them access it, infuse the Herceptin and the flush solution and then disconnect the needle, all while a total of six nurses had no success yet in accessing the port of the lady beside me over a longer period than my whole treatment. She told me they always have trouble with hers. So, in spite of the fact that I will be most grateful to get rid of my port, it could be worse.

This week I spent a fair amount of time in my garden and I am liking how it is looking, almost like there is a plan ;) I even managed to get Kenny out to admire my handiwork yesterday and without being elicited he made the comment that the other night when he walked into the yard after dark and all the solar lights were lit up it looked quite beautiful. When I think of what a great kid he is and wonderful he has been throughout this year, I think to myself that it could be worse.

Today I had a watercolor for fun class at Wellspring. While I am very much a beginner I enjoyed the class and tried not to compare my work to some of the others in the class who had obviously had more experience with watercolor. I think I may have a new hobby and when I look at how expensive some other hobbies I could have taken up can be I realize that the cost of this one could be worse.

After the class I went to see Mom again and we got a few paperwork things out of the way. I unintentionally nicked a bit of her toe instead of her toenail when I was trimming it and I felt very bad. With elderly people especially it is important to be very careful to not let their feet become infected. A cut or break in the skin then is not ideal and it bothered me. She seemed to take it in stride, telling me it could be worse.

Tomorrow I will get some housework done and have lunch with Liz. We are having a barbecue after church on Sunday to honor the new grads, I have a little work to do to prepare for that between now and then.

So, that's a synopsis of the last week. I am thankful. It sure could be worse.

Take care everyone.

Being Held

It has been several days since I last posted and there are many thoughts that have been swirling around in my head. I will try to put some of them down here in this post.

As you know, in the last few weeks I have had some tests and an appointment with my oncologist as well as another Herceptin treatment. I am finding the effects of the Herceptin treatments do seem to be cumulative and last weekend was not the best one in how I felt physically.  I also have  another test and appointment coming up next week which could be a cause for more 'scanxiety'. I cannot complain that I am not being carefully monitored.

While Rod and I were driving to my last oncologist appointment to get the ultrasound and bone scan results we were listening to a CD that I enjoy, the words of many of the songs spoke to us, Rod particularly liked the song 'Holding you'. The album is called 'Every Falling Tear' by Matt Hammitt. I have included the link to that particular song here -

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oycQAghbFLw

The words in the song made us think about what we hold onto in our lives that make us feel secure. Prior to my diagnosis I held onto the fact that I lived a very healthy life which, according to much of the information out there, should have protected me from getting breast cancer -  my diet was very good, I exercised regularly, I had never felt healthier, I began having my children in my early twenties which I was told was a good thing, I nursed all of them, I had annual physicals, I didn't drink or smoke, I had mammograms and did my BSE on a regular basis. All of these may be good things to do but they didn't prevent me from a diagnosis of an aggressive breast cancer. As I go forward now then it is harder for me to put my confidence in these practices as ways to prevent a recurrence.

This could contribute to me turning into a 'jittery caribou'. I have many well intentioned people giving me information on a regular basis as to what caused the cancer and/or what to do to get rid of it or prevent it from recurring. I could be running all over the place after more 'insurance' while depleting my bank account and becoming stressed that I may have missed something I should have or shouldn't have been doing.

I like then the line in the song that goes -

It's not in what you hold onto, it's in the one who's holding you ...

I will continue to strive to live healthily in all aspects of my life but my confidence and trust will be placed in the One who is holding me and has been holding me all through this and all the other experiences in my life. I am safe in the arms of My Father - no matter what. This is where my peace and confidence lie as I move forward.

I would also like to share a quote I read recently and liked. The person the quote is attributed to is Richard Alvares -
Hope is hearing the melody of the future
Faith is dancing to it now.

Take care everyone.