One week out

The first week postop really went by so quickly; I am definitely glad to be on this side of the surgery and once again, I am incredibly thankful for and amazed by the restorative/recuperative abilities of the human body.
In addition to everything I was thankful for last week, I am also thankful this week for -

• My iPad - while it is a 'thing', it allows me to continue to be social via Facebook, Skype and email. I can catch up on my interests in the magazine app I use - Zyte. It makes all my Kindle and iTunes books quickly available to me as well as all my music that I love to listen to. I've also been using Netflix on the iPad to watch an occasional video or show and some of my organizational apps allow me to make lists and mindmap to my heart's content. I'm probably missing some of the functionality I use it for but these alone provide pretty good value if I do say so myself. :)
• My co-workers, who I lumped in with the friends part of 'family and friends' last week, but probably deserve a separate thanks just so they know I was thinking of them but consider them more than just co-workers; they definitely qualify as friends.
• Summer fruit!!! Today alone in the guise that they are 'good for healing' I have enjoyed two of the juiciest peaches ever and Rod made an extra special protein shake for me today with half a mango and half an avocado and then some of our usual ingredients like spinach. I still have my eye on the other half of the mango and some kiwi fruit that was brought to us.
• The cooking abilities of others, we have feasted on some great meals this week; I always told my husband that life would be perfect for me with the addition of a cook and a maid :)
• Modern conveniences like 'Robbie', dishwashers, washing machines, fans ;) - all making my life here at home a little easier this week.

This afternoon a friend who is a realtor suggested we might like to take a drive in the country and come visit him in a home he was showing for an open house. The asking price is close to $2 million so it was fun to go out and pretend we were in the market, discussing the pros and cons of this house for us. I noticed how my husband tended to go in a room and see it 'all at once' big picture style and I was the one who was looking at all the details, opening all the doors, admiring the light fixtures and all those things that go together to make a room 'work' as a whole - or not. The ensuite in the master bedroom was 'to die for', it would mean no more elbowing each other out of the way to use the sink or look in the mirror in the morning. I teased my husband that I thought the huge master closet might fit all of my shoes and clothes, his things would have to be stored elsewhere though. As we walked out, I winked at our friend and told him we would get back to him once we'd talked and made our decision. 

Take care everyone, enjoy the remainder of the day
Laura

Row, row, row your boat

One of the exercises I have to do for my right arm is a figure eight using a broomstick or an umbrella. I pretend that I am kayaking when I do it. This evening we arranged to Skype with our oldest son, Justin and his wife Leah and our three grandchildren Lilly, Keiran and Forrest. Lilly and Keiran had practised a song for us complete with props and actions, it was 'Row, Row, Row your Boat'. They have much better paddle action than I am able to accomplish currently (at times Keiran's zealousness in paddling had me worried for Lilly's welfare). I realize that I will have to keep practising if I want to have any chance at joining them in their ensemble in a few weeks time.
I promise not to complain in my post today, I got that over with yesterday. It was good for me to get out of our house in the evening and change up recliners for our good friends; they even let me eat my supper in their recliner; the change of scenery was good to effect a change in my attitude.
Today things looked brighter when I awakened, another beautiful sunshiney day that included a walk, several email visits with co-workers and a delicious stir fry supper made and delivered hot by my brother. Each day I am trying to push just a little farther or faster during the walk and I have started adding a few light housekeeping tasks to the day. I think I am going to get to know some of the regulars on the walking path well over the next few months, today we spoke with an 82 year old man out walking his dog. We have also made good friends with several other dogs along the path. Yesterday one made me laugh out loud as we were walking past his house. He was lying spread out on his back soaking in the sun, totally relaxed and obviously enjoying the moment. Lots to be learned from our canine friends.
Now to get back to those arm exercises ;)

Lack of Control

Today, I find myself a little frustrated and a little discouraged and it is over something very little that in the grand scheme of things will matter not by end of next week, but today it seems big to me :(
On Tuesday when I phoned my surgeon's office to make a follow up appointment the secretary told me to call her again later this afternoon regarding the tube drainage. She also told me then that I could schedule all my appointments through her. I very optimistically called today with the wonderful news (for me) that the combined drainage between the two drains was on target to be less than 25 ml today and asked if I could set up an appointment for early next week. Her response was no, I have to have two days after a less than 25 ml day where it is still less than 25 ml. My response to that was I had three days after today before Monday and couldn't I just set up an appointment for early in the week. The answer was no, call back on Monday a.m. and if she agreed with my evaluation of how things went over the weekend, I could call the Breast Health Clinic Monday a.m. to arrange for my own appointment for drain removal.
The drains are not comfortable and are difficult to accommodate within clothing and when showering etc.
I also wanted to have some solid appointments for next week so I could plan. Can you tell I like to be in control?
I have to smile (sadly) at my reaction and remember the devotional reading from 'Jesus Calling' for today, here is an excerpt of it -

Draw near to Me with a thankful heart, aware that your cup is overflowing with blessings. Gratitude enables you to perceive Me more clearly and to rejoice in our Love-relationship. Nothing can separate you from My loving Presence! That is the basis of your security. Whenever you start to feel anxious, remind yourself that your security rests in Me alone, and I am totally trustworthy.
You will never be in control of your life circumstances, but you can relax and trust in My control. Instead of striving for a predictable, safe lifestyle, seek to know Me in greater depth and breadth. ....

Laura

Being 'mommy-sat'

Every Tuesday evening in the summer, my husband has hockey. I could see Rod was getting a little restless around the house so I suggested that he should go. He seemed unsure but also a little excited at the opportunity so he checked with our 17 year old, Kenny to see if he planned to be around during the evening. Once that was established, Rod took himself off to hockey and I was 'mommy-sat' for the first time by Kenny.
He came and hugged and kissed me and then stood by my chair and talked. I have another confession to make (what is it about blogging that seems to bring that out in me?). When any of my boys are talking to me for any length of time, I get very distracted. I look at them and drink in their appearance, thinking to myself how very beautiful they are and I totally lose track of the topic of conversation but try to keep up and make intelligent responses. Don't tell my guys that I think they are beautiful, OK? It's just between us ;)
I'm starting to get into this routine, it will be a rude awakening when Rod decides it's time to stop serving me breakfast in bed; for now I'll just bask in it. It makes for a very gentle and relaxed start to the day. Following breakfast I read a little and then get up and shower and dress for the day. For that effort I allow myself (read 'need') a little time in the recliner with my arm up on a pillow, so I listen to music, read or watch a video.
This a.m. Rod and I walked outside again, along my favorite ridge overlooking the provincial park. There was a very clear view of the mountains today and they were beautiful, they still appear to have a fair amount of snow on them. I made it a little farther than I did last time we walked and there are conveniently placed benches along the path to rest on, so we took advantage of one and the view it provided before heading back to the house.
Lunch was served by Rod out on the deck - tuna coleslaw salad with peanuts in it and hard-boiled eggs on the side. This was followed by a painkiller and a nice afternoon nap in my recliner; once again being 'mommy-sat' by Kenny while Rod took his friend Boyd out for a late lunch.
I called yesterday about a postop appointment with my surgeon but apparently the drains have to be draining less than 25 ml in 24 hours and then they will be removed at the same time as the appointment and results review. It doesn't appear that this will happen until next week. So, another reprieve before another round of appointments. I'm enjoying it.
Take care
Laura

Lesson learned

First of all, I wanted to let people know that I have added my pre and post op experiences to the blog posts, under the dates of June 29th and June 30th.
On to last evening and today.
Last evening, thinking I was ready to prepare for the next phase of my treatment, I decided to research the various types of chemotherapy. I read about every chemo drug and all their side effects and it was pretty unnerving, these are very toxic medications, created to kill rapidly growing cells. Not a good bedtime story type of activity.
To top it off, I decided I was curious about my surgery. I'm not feeling much muscle under the skin of my upper chest.. Silly me searched youtube for a video on modified radical mastectomy to see if what I was feeling in the operative area was 'normal' and I watched a video of the surgery all the way through.
By the time I was done, I was nauseated and shaky. I asked Rod to help me upstairs to our room. I had several moments where I wasn't sure supper was going to stay down and I couldn't stop shaking. Once washed up and settled into bed with a basin close by 'in case' I told Rod what I had been doing. Rod prayed with me and turned on my iPad music.. I fell asleep to that and felt much better when I next awakened.
I would never do this again, and I would advise others in similar circumstances not to do what I did. Once my pathology is known, the oncologist/tumor board will advise on the best chemotherapeutic agents to use in my case, I did not have to research all of them at the same time.
Similarly,  when I see my surgeon for my postop appointment I can ask him then what was done and he will explain what and why at that time, what 'is' is not going to change by my researching what is 'normal'.
I am now focused back on the 'now' and on doing what I need to do to get better today. I went for a short walk outside yesterday with Rod and friends along the ridge of the provincial park our neighbourhood borders. The view from there is lovely, it's been raining a lot lately, so everything is very green and people living across from the ridge have beautiful landscaping for me to admire. I plan to do this again today.
I am also continuing to do all my arm exercises and progress is definitely being made.
The tops I bought prior to surgery with my 'sister' are doing great service for me, making me feel I am looking OK and feeling comfortable, as well.
I do have to say however, that at the end of the day, when it's just me and my pajamas looking back at me in the bedroom mirror at night that I can't help but smile a little. If anyone knows of auditions taking place for the play 'Victor/Victoria' I do think that I would be a shoe-in physically for the part, right down to the hair. And I sing ;)

If in doubt, rub her feet :)

Good morning, everyone.
Over the next couple of days I am going to try to document the immediate pre-op and then immediate post-op experiences in separate blog posts. They will probably be a little detailed and some may think it is 'too much information'. For those people, they will be separate posts and there is no obligation whatsoever to read but for those who may be curious I will try to recount my experiences.

Today is another wonderful, sunny day. I am now comfortably situated in my recliner in the family room, with the backyard and deck in my view on one side and on my other side the view is of some of the beautiful flowers and gifts received. We have food in the fridge for meals to come and have had some lovely visits with the people who brought the meals, gifts and flowers. I've added a picture.

Now for some more confessions -
I have two drains in that need to be emptied about every 8 hours and sometimes the tubing needs to be milked to keep things flowing well. Who knew that the nurse who had no difficulty doing this for others would be a little squeamish doing it for herself. How embarassing! The milking itself takes a fair amount of strength and the right arm protests being used for this purpose. I find myself needing about 15 minutes after the milking to get over the squeamishness and for my right arm muscles to stop protesting.
I also will confess that I was feeling a little sorry for myself this a.m. so I decided to take a little extra care with my appearance. The Breast Health clinic sent me a temporary prosthesis to use until the incisional area is healed and today was the first day to use it. I thought I was lop-sided without it but now with it, I have the opposite problem, seems like I may have lost some weight on the other side and it is affecting symmetry. :(

My husband Rod probably doesn't quite know how to deal with all of this but our friend Jane had just the answer for him. She delivered a little care package last Thursday and one of the items was a triple mint foot cream with a note for Rod that said, 'Rod, if in doubt, rub her feet'. Which is exactly what he did for me once I got all settled in the recliner this a.m. and you know what? Jane was right!

Take care
Laura

Thankful

Today will be a short post again. I'll write more later about the surgical experience with the exception of saying that my 'sister' Gayle had told me while we were shopping of a wonderful anesthetist Dr. Y.
When I arrived to the operating suite, a lovely kind lady came up to me and introduced herself as Dr. Y and told me she was my anesthetist. I was so happy to hear this. The next thing she said was 'I want to tell you that not only is Dr. A an amazing person, he is also an absolutely amazing surgeon. You are in good hands.' :)
Today I'm thankful for -

•  the amazing recuperative abilities of the human body 
• Wonderful family and friends 
• The smell of lilacs and maydays wafting into the room on a gentle breeze 
• Beautiful flowers sent with loving messages 
• Well-trained sons (even if I can't take credit for the training) ;) 
• Hairdressers who are artists with naturally curly,thick hair who really listen 
• Teddy bears who do double duty as arm cushions 

Bye for now
Laura