Picking up the Pieces

The title of this post is the title of a book by Sherri Magee and Kathy Scalzo. The full title of the book is Picking up the Pieces: Moving Forward After Surviving Cancer. The workshop called The Healing Plan that I attended a couple of weeks ago was based on the material in this book. I had fully intended to post more about it before now but life seemed to get busy once again.

Many of the people on the forum that I belong to are surprised that at the end of their active treatment they feel a bit lost, possibly depressed and question 'What now?'. For months their lives were focused intently on making it through grueling treatments and surgeries and regular appointments with oncologists  and surgeons where they are closely monitored. There is a comfort and security that can come with this, when treatment ends and the period of time between appointments and testing is longer it can feel like they are being abandoned. One lady said that when her treatment ended she asked her oncologist what was next and he told her to 'get a life'. She was offended at first but as she started to consider what he had meant she realized that what he was saying to her was to go and live her life. She wasn't quite sure how to do this though.

One of the common fears following treatment is of recurrence, metastases and/or death. In the workshop this was addressed by relating the experience of one person who, once finished active treatment, was afraid to plan too far ahead, was constantly monitoring every bump, ache and pain and was always anxious and afraid - unable to move forward or 'return to normal'. Her husband told her that she reminded him of a jittery caribou. When she asked him what that meant he explained that he had been reading about the Arctic caribou and was fascinated to find out that when they migrated the wolves travelled right in amongst them. He likened the wolves to cancer. He told her that the caribou needed to be aware of the wolves but that the smart ones kept themselves strong by continuing to move forward toward their goal. Staying strong also meant regular times of rest and nourishment. They were careful to remain close to the other caribou and not let themselves get isolated. They used all their senses to stay alert and aware. The jittery caribou were overaware of the wolves and might stop moving or panic and bolt when the wolves drew closer, unintentionally making themselves more vulnerable. They let fear take over.

The advice drawn from this analogy and provided to us as workshop participants was to do what we  could to nourish and build ourselves up physically, emotionally, in our relationships and spiritually. We were encouraged to take an area we wanted to address like sleep, managing stress, fear or nutrition and set a goal for that area of our lives and then identify what steps we could work on that would take us in the direction of wellness in that area. We were advised that it is good to remember the 80/20 rule as we worked on the new behaviors and incorporated them into our lives.

One of the practices that was suggested was a five question check-in every day. The questions to ask ourselves during these check-ins are -
1. What is happening in my body?
2. How am I feeling emotionally?
3. When I let my thoughts wander, what do I find myself thinking about?
4. Who did I connect with?
5. What gave me a sense of peace?

This can help identify areas that are going well and areas that may need attention.

I was telling a few people about this the other day and their response was that this would be a good practice for anyone to do daily, not just cancer patients. I agreed.

Take care everyone.