The last two mornings I have woken up and tried to see through the slits that my eyes were due to the fluid retention that seems to be occurring. Not exactly the most attractive sight and Rod is to be given credit for not running away screaming upon seeing me first thing each of these mornings. I have also had some nosebleeds over the weekend in spite of trying to keep up the vaseline and there was some GI upset overnight on Friday. On top of that my fingernails are looking and feeling quite bruised and the moons on them have disappeared; I'm beginning to wonder when the nails themselves might disappear. All of it added up to me feeling a little down, especially when everyone is congratulating me on finishing the big chemo - it's not really feeling very finished at the moment as I deal with these increased side effects from the cumulative treatments.
This left me thinking that my reading from Jesus Calling this morning was quite appropriate in how it described the first part of my day, so apt that I made sure to show it to Rod -
'Therefore, rejoice on those days when you drag hourself out of bed, feeling sluggish and inadequate. Tell yourself that this ia a perfect day to depend on Me in childlike trust. If you persevere in this dependence as you go through the day, you will discover at bedtime that Joy and Peace have become your companions. You may not realize at what point they joined you on your journey, but you will feel the beneficial effects of their presence. The perfect end to such a day is a doxology of gratitude. I am He from whom all blessings flow!'
What did I have to lose ;). I depended with the childlike trust and got myself together to go to the work meetings I had. Before I even got out of my car there was an email from my manager to the team saying that there were treats at his desk but that we would 'have to have a really good reason' for visiting. I thought I could come up with one or two good reasons as I made my way into the office. What a sight I must have been arriving with my nose running and my eyes tearing (they call them Taxo-tears - another side effect). Who could refuse providing treats to someone looking that pathetic? ;)
As always, it was so good to see everyone and visit/meet with them. They made me feel so much better, telling me how wonderful I was looking and, compared to how I had looked first thing in the morning, it was true so I soaked it all in.
When I arrived home there was a package in the mail. It was the watch that I had picked out as a gift to commemorate my 30 years with the heatlh region. It is quite beautiful in gold and silver and it is engraved on the back.
I also received a gift card for a meal at the Keg from relatives that have already been more than generous with an Amazon gift card in the past. Hard to continue to feel sorry for myself with all this going on.
I had a great phone call with Robin as she was driving home which seemed like a gift in itself and then right afterwards I received a call for Rod. Turns out he bought one raffle ticket for a golf package this weekend at a hockey tournament and he won. I'm so happy for him, he has been a such a saint, long before any breast cancer diagnosis but especially since. It was fun to be able to call him and let him know about it.
Over all, a good day to have dragged myself out of bed, no matter how sluggish the start :).
Take care, everyone.
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