Ups and downs

Today was a beautiful, hot summer day.
I had a list of calls I was going to make first thing this a.m. and started with calling my surgeon's office to report the drain amounts and request my appointment/s. The secretary told me I could call the Breast Health Center to arrange to have the drains removed but that the surgeon was away now for two weeks of vacation so I would have to wait until his return before I could have an appointment with him. I think my jaw dropped. She had made no mention of this when we talked last week and she had asked me to call this a.m.
I am most wanting to know what the pathology and scans showed so I asked whether I was going to have to wait until his return before I knew this information. She said that there was no pathology back yet but if it did come prior to the surgeon's return, she would forward it to my GP and then I could make an appointment with the GP to review it. I told her that I already had an appointment for my annual physical booked for July 16th so this should work out. She said sometimes the pathology has been taking longer than that but she would let me know. She also said that when the reports came back she was going to send them right away to the Cancer Center so that they could go ahead and set things in motion so as not to delay that part of my treatment. If I didn't know better I would think my surgeon was trying to avoid me and that is a little unsettling.
On the plus side, my drains will come out tomorrow and this should really help comfort wise. We also had a nice visit this afternoon with the couple we told prior to surgery who had gone through a similar experience in the past, it was nice to share and to know that more than many, they understood what we were going through.
I also opened my email this afternoon and there was a gift certificate from my sister-in-law Carol and my three lovely nieces Adana, Mandy and Lexi - what a very pleasant surprise and it couldn't have happened on a better day for me!
People ask how me I am feeling. Physically I am feeling pretty good, my right arm is better today; overall I am feeling healthy, I have been taking it slow and looking after myself well and I definitely think my health is benefitting from this. Mentally/emotionally it is a bit of a rollercoaster but I think for the most part I am doing well and staying positive. I still have moments where it all seems very unreal, like 'how can this really be happening to me, I feel like exactly the same person I was a month ago and yet my life now is completely different'. I don't feel a lot of fear or anxiety, I do feel impatience.
In a way, I feel like I am in the penalty box but that I don't know what for or for how long.  Logically, I do know that I am not being punished and that this just 'is' and that there is much I can learn from going through this experience if I am willing but emotionally, I don't like being put on the sidelines and I want to get back in the game, I feel like there is so much more of it left to play.
My husband is going to be very proud of me for using a hockey analogy, it's something he is well known for, he must be rubbing off on me ;)